Healthy Relationships Online Support Group

I was wondering if anyone had other relationship issues, like with sisters or brothers.

I have a brother in Florida, and I need very much to stay there for at least 1 mo. this winter for health reasons. I think My SIL is stopping this from happening. I asked and she laughed me off. She always acts like I'm her good friend, crap, I have known her since Teen years. They have a 4 bedroom home 3 blocks from the gulf (ocean)

I would give them money , they know this.

I took care of her and both her daughters for 3 mo. before they moved, because they sold their home fast here and she said they would have to move into a hotel. I said absolutely,and they moved in with me my husband and son. There was no problems.

I'm hurt by this, but then again maybe I would intrude on their privacy. The 3 kids they have are grown and moved out.

She throws that in my face, and I just say well you know my son wont be going anywhere until he can. Yes, he is 23 , but he is on SSI for his disability. My family thinks I should make him move into a group home, I don't agree at this point.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong to feel hurt

If I start about my sil, etc. there would be no room for anyone else on here to post

Abbey maybe, it might help if you want to talk about it ever, we are here. My sil has always been so good to me, I can't figure things out, lately. I really wish I had some answers, but I may as well rent a cottage for a month in Florida. I think that might be my best bet.

My sil never thought I was good enough for her brother. Always treated me like a second class citizen. I talk to her now but on a very limited basis, I already examined my conscience and I feel fine about the relationship we have. Agonziing over wrongs from the past is just plain futile. It doesn't hurt like it used to so why hash it all up again, what was done is done, and now it's her problem wihtin herself to own up to and to sort out. Been there done that,abbey

Abbey, I guess In laws are a definite problem in marriages. That seems wrong, or is wrong. They seem to make matters worse in an already strained relationship with spouses. Bad topic , but seems to be a one to consider.

My husband wants nothing to do with my family, except one sister he does like. But his own family he has all but disowned them, I think they blame it on me. But then again when they call they only speak to me LOL. I cant figure that one out.

Well I have a large family and we all love to get together to socialize and laugh, eat, drink, etc. We usually end up getting on my husband's nerves because he is a very serious person and doesn't drink, etc. Not that we are lushes but he just doesn't approve of alcohol. Anyway, his family are sort of stuffy and straitlaced. He visits with them and sometimes I join him but it's like sitting in a library. My family gets loud, laughs at ridiculous stuff and we hug and all of that type of stuff. So although he is not crazy about my family, he doesn't care if I get together with them and he just shows up for a new mins. Abbey

I can remember the good days, just like that too. Since my parents are gone and two siblings, the family shrunk. So, its just not the same. I so wish it were, but cant live in my past for ever. So I delete holidays from my mind, and try to make the best of what I can to work with.

Hugs........

Each year our holiday dinner table dwindles, but so what, those that are still able to come, come, those who cannot make it are with us in spirit and those that cannot travel to be with us always call and let us know they are thinking about us and what we are doing. Family (there are always some good parts) lives on, no matter what. Good or bad, our family is always part of us and this is where we get to choose what we want to retain and what we want to reject. I call it part of the free will process. Love and peace, Abbey

Post edited by: abbeyp, at: 10/21/2010 06:16 AM

My problem is a bit different. My family doesn't accept my son. It's hard to explain, but I will at a time when I'm comfortable. Mostly my family doesn't accept him for who he is. He is my son, and I love him unconditionally. My family doesn't understand unconditional love. They did when my parents were alive, but since then, its quite different.

Just have to say , it's a sad situation.

Hugs...........

Patty, so sorry that your family cannot accept your son. But I do know where you are coming from. My il are much the same way, if someone is not perfect, then they don't have a place in our family... Wow families sure are complicated... Abbey