Gay and Lesbian Online Support Group

There is this woman that I am friends with...well, kind a friends with. We used to work together, and she calls me constantly with her psych problems. That's okay unless it starts to bog me down (that happens sometimes). Anyway, she is always making anti-gay comments, and I have to challenge her all the time. It's exhausting, and of course, she always says, "Well, I didn't mean you, of course." If she says that gay people are a disgrace to their families, then she DOES mean me.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, she said she wanted to talk to me about my partner and our relationship. She said she didn't "like it one little bit." Like I care really. I told her if she wanted to remain friends she needed to back up and keep her opinion to herself. She kept talking anyway, and wanted to set up a time that she could really express her feelings. NO! I cannot get rid of this woman. I've tried everything. I haven't taken any phone calls from her, and I haven't read her text messages. She has bombarded me, and because of her I went over my limit $200.00 on texts. I e-mail her and told her that I really wanted to deal with all my problems by myself and right now, I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. She got mad! But she still keeps sending me e-mails and calling.

What to do...what to do. Advice anyone. Remember I've been up front about being left alone.

Doc

YOUR "FRIEND" SOUND LIKE SHE HAS SOME REAL PSYCH PROBLEMS. I WOULD DO JUST AS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING. UNLESS SHE GETS TO WHERE SHE IS COMING TO YOUR HOME OR PLACE OF WORK THEN THERE IS PROBABLY NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT DELETE HER E MAILS AND TEXT. YOU COULD BLOCK HER ON THE INTERNET AND CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IF YOU THINK ITS THAT DRASTIC.IF IT GETS WORSE, LIKE COMING TO YOUR HOME YOU CAN GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. KEEP THE E MAILS ON PAPER SO YOU HAVE PROOF OF HER HARRASSING YOU.

SUE

She actually sent a text that stated if I didn't respond, she was going to come to my house and kick my door in. This is out of my element. This woman has really been more like a client than a friend. In my career, I've had two former clients stalk me, but they were so overt that the police got involved and solved that problem.

You can put a block on her number through your phone carrier and mark her emails as spam and they will go directly there instead of your inbox. If she does come to your house have that email printed off and be ready to call the police...restraining orders are only pieces of paper but it will give you leverage if she shows up again.

Thanks ya'll. I've been in the psych business for over 20 years, and I am still surprised by some people's behavior.

First of all I would send her a bill for your time. I mean really you are not a friend you are a therapist, that just steams me, the nerve. I would not deal with her but some folks could tell her they would see her for a fee.

You could make a statement in 10 words or less that lets her know how you feel and what you need, then you can just repeat it until she gets it or goes away.

It is better if you just deal with it. She is just one person. Even if all you did was call her and tell her you are done with her obstinately or intolerantly devoted to her own opinions and prejudices. If letting her know you have spoken with law enforcement/attorneys, sometimes that helps.