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02/11/2012 03:36 PM

Hey Guys

mem3351

I think it's time I talked a little about some things I am currently going through.

I am not going to go into lots of detail, as this isn't the forum for this anyway. But as a leader here, I think it's fair that I confide and open up with everyone about my life, and my reasons for getting the surgery in the first place. It's a long journey, but I am getting there slowly.

I never felt right growing up. All of my friends were girls, I couldn't relate to anyone in my class, or my peer group. My parents used to force me to play with friends from school, but I found it almost impossible to talk. I was 11 or 12, they talked about cars and soccer and girls they liked, I wanted to talk about how things made us feel and fashion and basically nothing they wanted to talk about.

When I got to 16, never had a girlfriend, much to the dismay of my parents. I felt trapped, I felt wrong, I felt awkward.

My parents were convinced I was gay, so they changed tack - my mum's friends son was 16 and recently had come out, so they arranged for me to go out with him. Nice lad, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't gay!

So then followed several years of over eating, depression and everything else. I ate because I couldn't work out why I was feeling so sad all of the time, why I didn't feel right. Then, I read about Gender Dysphoria. It's a condition where you feel you're born in the wrong gender. When nothing feels right, and you can't explain it.

I went to the Dr and he referred me to a psychiatrist. Who referred me to another 4 psychiatrists. They all concluded I had Gender Dysphoria, and agreed that I had been born the wrong gender.

Next, they sent me to a specialist who did blood tests and that was a shock. My male hormone level was massively low, hardly noticeable. And my female hormone level was through the roof. Slowly, things started to make more sense.

Through my teen years, the chest I had developed was put down to the excess weight, obviously, this wasn't the case, it was due to the hormone level.

So next, I had some further tests, they discovered I had been born with some female internal organs too.

The picture was in place.

The gastric bypass was the result of being able to put things right once and for all. I have lost 3/4 of my excess body weight, the surgery is coming next for some of the skin.

My parents have been quite hesitant about me deciding to live in the gender I feel I should have been, obviously it's a huge change for them, for me too. But they have come around, and my mum - who is staying with me now for a while - actually said to me that she understands now why I am doing it, she thinks I am so much happier, which I am.

My chosen girl name is Sophie. I think it suits me.

I am currently at the stage of slowly crossing over in dress. All of my official documents are now changed, everything is moving forward.

I just wanted to share with you all my life, my current experiences and my new life. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask here or in a message. I am explaining this so everyone understands what I am going through, and more, if you ever do see someone walking past you who is dressed a female - it takes so much courage and bravery to make that decision and change your life. Sometimes, it's not a guy changing gender, sometimes it's a genetic flaw that they are trying to correct.

My life experiences make it easier for me to help others. Which, to me, means I am helping myself.

Thank you everyone, for being my closest friends xx

Reply

02/12/2012 12:00 PM
jessieh
jessieh  
Posts: 12
Member

i wish you the bestest luck!!! it takes alot of courage to do what is right for yourself!! when you have made your change and get those looks just think to yourself wow i'm a much better person by being ME!!!! again wishing you the best!!!

02/12/2012 01:14 PM
mem3351

Thank you Smile That means a lot to me!

02/12/2012 04:33 PM
mem3431

We love you, Bailey!! I am so happy you are finally able to be the beautiful, strong woman you were meant to be. <3 I like Sophie, too.

02/27/2012 01:37 PM
bobbibee
Posts: 215
Member

Sweety; I have had two friends who are transgender. They are wonderful fabulous people. I introduced them to eachother as the second one began the hormone therapy. Their lives are not easy. Society is crap to them, even here in L.A. where so many "types" of individuals live. I wish you all the best and hope we can meet up one day.

02/27/2012 04:16 PM
mem3351

Thank you Smile I have found that moving to London has been the best thing ever for me, because there are so many different types of people here, it's just blending into the crowd. I haven't had much negativity here, so it's promising.

The hormone therapy is amazing, it has changed so many things. Not just physical but also emotional as well. I am feeling happier, less stressed, it's pretty much eliminated my panic attacks, weirdly. Maybe that isn't the medications, maybe that's just because I am finally on the right path?

I am going to join a transgender group here in London, I think the more support I get, the better really. I am quite excited about meeting other people in the same situation.

aw I hope we can meet one day too Smile


02/29/2012 04:04 AM
macscot
 
Posts: 4
New Member

Which quadrant of the capital have you moved into [I am down in the SE myself]] London can be very impersonal until you find your feet, great to visit .................... So just relax be yourself.

02/29/2012 07:30 AM
mem3351

I am in SE too, just near Hither Green train station Smile

Yes, I am just relaxing and trying to be myself as much as I can. Up to now, nobody seems to notice me which is fine. I don't mind that at all. I don't mind blending in, it's better than standing out Smile


02/29/2012 09:04 AM
mem3431

It's not that they don't notice you, it's that you don't stand out as an odd duck. Smile

02/29/2012 10:31 AM
mem3351

ha ha well that is good if that's true Smile I try to be subtle and not stand out too much, so it seems to be working ok
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