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05/20/2012 06:51 PM

I need help!

SFisher
SFisher  
Posts: 2
New Member

Sad I am 27 and a new FM patient, my husband is 3 years younger than I am and he is having a VERY difficult time with this and I need help on how to assist him to understand.
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05/23/2012 08:38 AM
Annelle
Annelle  
Posts: 193
Member

It's a tough thing to try and get people to understand. My boyfriend is understanding, but he still has a hard time understanding what I'm really going through and how it impacts every thing about me. He worries because I'm not getting out much because I'm working and prefer my weekends to be quiet, relaxing and a time for regeneration. Basically, I sit in front of the TV resting a lot and he worries that I'm depressed.

The best you can do is be patient but also sit him down and let him know that it is really important to you for him to try and understand. If he cares about you, he will do his best. But he's human, doesn't have Fibro, and male....so you might need lots of patience. Wink Let us know what you need!

Annelle


05/23/2012 11:04 AM
SFisher
SFisher  
Posts: 2
New Member

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement! I will do my best, I just wish we had a place for spouces to talk these thingsout too!

06/02/2012 09:32 PM
davesprettylady

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by- christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

I suggest showing him that article ^

Also, in the regular fibro support group there are all kinds of resources on how to talk to your spouse about what is going on. You're spouse is welcome to come on here and talk too!


05/29/2013 09:08 AM
sabrecat
sabrecatPosts: 6
New Member

Hi,

I am a husband who's wife has been diagnosed with FM. I posted this a few weeks back,

Spouse to Fibro sufferer - New to Site - caregivers fatigue

With that, I can tell you that there is no way anyone that does not actually suffer from this disease will ever understand it the way you as a victim of FM do.

Its like, you cannot understand going through basic training for the military unless you have actually been through basic training. You cannot understand what combat is like unless you have been in combat. You cannot understand what its like to fly or scuba dive unless you have actually done those things. He will never understand it at the same level that you do, but that does not mean he cannot be sympathetic, or that he cannot be helpful, or that he cannot be supportive.

He should do some reading about this disease to help him understand how it can affect you, and though he cannot understand it the same way you understand it, hopefully by learning how this disease affects people it can help him understand what he can do to help you, and to help himself.

I wont lie, this isnt going to be easy on your marriage, but as with all things in a marriage, communication is key. Dont shut him out, and encourage him to share his feelings too. You may even want to consider counseling if you dont already have good communication.

Good luck to you both.

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