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cadburry
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My boyfriend fluctuates between being supportive and being a royal pain lol. Sometimes he is so wonderful.I don't have to say a word allot of times and he knows I'm hurting, but then there are times I'm hurting really bad and he rolls his eyes. I was talking to my mom tonight about how this is hard on him too and she said yeah it's not fun to be with someone who is sick all the time. For the most part we have a decent relationship and there is allot of love between us. I told my mom tonight that if I can't find a way to have more of a life I'm going to let him go. It nearly broke my heart in two when my mom agreed that if a doctor can't find me something to help me have more of a life then it would be better to let him go.She said he is young and it isn't right for me to hold him back.I could have cried when she said that but it would have caused a migraine.Has she forgot that I'm only 27 and should be feeling great and that he is only 4 years younger than me. He said that he wants me sick or not that theres no one else for him but me. It's just I feel so guilty keeping him here with me and I can't never do anything fun. We used to go dancing every Saturday night, go out of town to shop at other malls,go walking in parks, and loads of other things. We had big plans about our future and now it all seems so out of reach. I'm going to wait like my mom said a while longer and try to get some help. If I don't see the help coming then I'm going to tell him that I understand and wont hold it against him if he wants to move on. He has never said anything about leaving me, but I can't imagine he hasn't thought about it. Sorry for the rant but I just had to get this out. |
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foxyroxy1
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I am 33, have been married for 13 years. I was diagnosed aprox 8 yrs ago. I had to have ECT treatments for 3 years for depression because NOTHING would help! Mentally I am "better" now, but I have medical bills coming out of my wazoo. Many of times I have told my hubby that I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to leave. Because every time we go into debt its from my medical bills be it depression or the fibro or whatever else is wrong that day. But I believe if they are the one, they love us no matter what. Pain, crazyness and all.  Just my thoughts on that though. Hang in there, Don't give up to quickly...ok?? |
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ALCSS2008
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My husband and I have been married 7 years. It doesn't seem like we have had one minutes peace since the day we said I do. We have a blended family with 6 children together. They are 17, 18, 18, 24 25, 27. We had his ex-wife that seems to rear her ugly head just enough to keep things stirred up. And my childrens father has decided to make an appearance after being gone out of their lives 13 years. We are treating this positively because we love the kids and we want what is best for them. As long as he is good to them now, that is what is important. It is difficult, but you have to leave he past in the past. You cannot change it. My husband and I are about to lose our home and everything we have worked for because my disability was not approved. Last night when the kids were all out, I looked at my husband and told him I loved him and if he wanted to go he could. I told him that he had a job and an income and he had a chance for a life. He looked at me and said, "You are my life" I couldn't beleive it. He doesn't talk like that. He told me he said for better or for worse. He asked me if I would leave him, and I said no because I love him and he said then why would you think I wouldn't love you? It has been so hard, sometimes we try and go no where, but after last night I know we are going together and thats okay with me.  ccc |
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thomasann
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Cadbury, Don't ou give up. There is a way that you will have a full and happy life. I cannot tell you how as I have not quite gotten there yet myself. But I can tell you that life it what we make it and hon, you do have a caring BF and you will be ok. Just give it time and give yourself time to grieve for what you have lost with this fibro and then you will see a much clearer path! I will be praying for you. I keep a list of names that I pray for every day. Hugs, Tami |
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ALCSS2008
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Cadbury, I didn't realize you were so young and your boyfriend is even younger. Maybe, it is better for you to concentrate on yourself for a while. Take care of your healh and cut down on your stress. 23 is pretty young for a guy. I know from your posts that you care very deeply for him and that he means a lot to you, and maybe he will stay with you and if he leaves he may be back. You are a wonderful person and there will be someone for you. I posted about what my husband said but I did not post about the years of heartache and how rough I had it alone with three kids. Sometimes the person you love and want is not the person for you. IF you are happy with your bf and you think he is the one I am here supporting you all the way. If you are wondering if you two can make it work, you are one of the normal couples in the world. IF you think you need a break, take a chance, what will be will be as hard as that sounds. I have girls 18, 24 and 27. I know you are hurting from more than the fibro. I am praying for you and keeping track of the days until your pain clinc appointment. 10 days to go. ccc |
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Maineiac
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cadburry, you mentioned "keeping Him." You couldn't keep him if he didn't want to stay so it would seem to me that he has chosen to be with you. Try not to worry and enjoy being with him. If things change, well deal with it then. It would be nice if he was more supportive tho. |
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cadburry
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Thank you all so much. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has thought like this. He is 24 so maybe we are three years apart in age lol.My mind doesn't ever work right. We have been together for four years and we only had one good year.The second year was when things started getting hard for me, but I was still able to work and do a little, and now I just feel so old and like I'm holding him back from a normal life. We had planned on being married by now, but I don't even bringit up anymore and when he does I shut him up real fast by changing the subject. You all are so wonderful and I'm so releived to know that these are normal feelings. Thats true I couldn't keep him if he didn't want to stay so I guess he has chosen to stay with me. Part of what makes me feel guilty too is that he has been providing for me and my two children on his own until recently (he doesn't have a job, but is looking).When he finds another job it will all be on him again.He cleans the house when my kids destroy it.Most days he doesn't gripe, but he does go through stages where he gripes about having to do it all and thats another reason I have thses thoughts. ALCSS, I'm so sorry to hear that you will be loosing your home.My best friends mom and dad just lost the home they have lived in for 19 years because of the same thing. It's terribly saddening to think of all the things this Fibro destroys, but you all are right we have to look to at the now, and not what once was. I think I will feel much better if I can stop feeling guilty about having people help me, and just deal with the fact I will never again be that happy out going woman who loved to go out dancing, and could take care of a house and two kids plus hold down a 56 hour a week job.That person is gone and now I have to work on what I can do to be the best me with what I have. You all are so wonderful and I truelly am greatful for all of the input! |
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ALCSS2008
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When my husband married me, I was a pretty little skinny woman 110 pounds that worked out at the gym and had a cool haircut. I had a full-time job and made a lot of money. We went fishing and skiing and did alot of outdoor things because that is what we enjoyed. Money was no problem, so we bought what we wanted and for the first time in his life he was spoiled. Now he is married to me--I hurt all of the time, I lost my job, I get no disability from where I worked or otherwise. Physically I don't even look like the same person. I weigh 170 pounds and my face is fat. I can barely stand to wash my hair because my head hurts and I can't raise my arms up that long. I wear sweats and T-shirts. I guess you are right, he stays because he wants to. No one has to stay anywhere they don't want to. ccc |
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foxyroxy1
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You never know you may be able to do that same stuff in the future! I still try to do things I enjoy even if I end up paying for it for days. A week or so ago I went to a concert with a friend and I hurt so bad and it was too loud that I sat alot that night...and we are front row girls there. Im not ready to give up yet. In fact we are going to see the band again tonight! Plus you never know what kind of new meds or treatments someone will come up with. Please dont feel defeated. I know Im not ready for that yet. |
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mesafoxx
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HI THERE, I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR U, TAKE CARE OF U 1ST AND FOREMOST, U ARE U, AND THERE IS NO-ONE GOING TO CARE FOR U AS MUCH AS U DO. SO, I BELIEVE IF U TAKE CARE OF U AND LOVE URSELF WHETHER ITS THE LOVE U HAVE NOW OR A LOVE THAT COMES LATER U WILL B LOVED. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW, I WAS VERY LUCKY, IVE TRIED THIS 3 TIMES, BUT FAILED ALL 3 TIMES. A BROKEN HEART EVERYTIME 1ST MARRIED 15YRS, 2ND MARRIED 12 YRS, AND THE 3RD MARRIED 7 WEEKS, I WOULDNT CHANGE ANYTHING, BECAUSE IF I DID I WOULD NEVER HAVE FOUND WHAT I TRUELY WANTED THE WHOLE TIME, AND THATS NOT ONLY GOD IN MY LIFE, BUT THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN IVE EVER KNOWN, HIS NAME IS RON, HE HAS LIVED THROUGH THIS ALL 1TIME IN HIS LIFE, HE UNDERSTANDS IT ALL, EVERY ACHE AND PAIN AND EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF HES BEEN THERE DONE THAT, HIS LATE WIFE HAD FIBROMYLIGIA AMONG OTHER THINGS: ONE OF THEM COPD THAT SHE PASSED AWAY FROM. SO NEEDLESS TO SAY HE DOESNT HAVE TO HAVE ME IN HIS LIFE, BUT HE DOES, AND HE CARES FOR ME DEEPLY. I WISH AND PRAY FOR U, THAT U TOO WILL FIND THIS KIND OF HAPPYNESS, IT IS THERE FOR U. WITH ALOT OF GENTLE HUGS TO U WISHING U WELL, WRITE WHEN U CAN. ***If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.*** {{GENTLE HUGS}}. |
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"When I was diagnosed I was scared didn't know what to do or where to go..I started reserching bipolar and somehow ended up here at MD....Again scared but needing to know what was in store I asked a question..WOW the people who care..I know I would be lost now if I did not join..made many friends and they have helped me through thick and thin. and never judged...........XX Thank you MD and all.Love all of you.......Laurie Pachin" (puppylover)
