My name is Ron, or on here "Big Old Bear", and I'd like to introduce myself, along with a story of inspiration. I apologize in advance for what will be a very long post, but it is my intent to introduce myself, inspire, and hopefully amuse you all at the same time.

I'm a survivor of Melanoma cancer that was threatening my life a mere 7 years ago. I've been cancer free since April 30th, 2001, and cancer in all it's forms have ravaged my family. Currently, I'm very fortunate to not have any major health issues, but my beloved wife of 5 months does. She is how I found out about these boards and this site. Her name on here is Bella.

She has many issues, Sleep Apnea, Fibromyalga, COPD, SLE (Systemic Lupus), a connection tissue disease, Laryngeal Spasms, and more. She tolerates a lot, and she continues on. I support her in many ways, asking her to take naps, to take it easy, I lift things for her, I work harder and harder so she doesn't have to, I try and de-stress her as best that I can. I rub her several times a day, I even cook (I mean burn things) and clean (when I can) to help out. I do whatever I can, as much as I can. I am not bragging, only stating that she has my undying love and support 24/7/365 and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her.

She had a lot of things happen to her in 1995, the Lupus diagnosis, her dad dying, a divorce after 17 years of marriage, and more. In 1997, she was diagnosed with the Sleep Apnea - and that's just the beginning....

Longer story made shorter, her ex-husband of then-17 years, (who was a tax accountant that ran his own business and also did the books for her video store), embezzled over $125,00 and left ever absolutely penniless. The IRS came and at gun point, shut down her video store. So now here she was without a penny to her name, 3 young children to support, a mortgage to pay for, and a business to run with all the expenses of both a home, children and business.

Remember, she has Lupus, Sleep Apnea, Fibro, other things all going on during this time, as well as her father having died..... and no child support from the ex-husband - ever.

So throughout all of this, she managed to raise 3 daughters, pay for the home and its expenses, and managed to get her video store opened back up after working out a deal with the IRS. In the divorce, she was awarded the store and he got the accounting business. She also managed to pay back (by herself), the $125,000 the ex-husband embezzled from her store which was money due to the IRS that he stole from the video store.

Even through it all, sickness, children, IRS< store, house, bills, she survived. I know it's no easy cakewalk having a serious illness, but she inspires me and has done more to survive and thrive in her sickened state than many people in perfect health ever have or will.

When you are down and life is hard, think of Bella.

There is always someone out there who has it better or worse than you do. Your choice is: What do I do?

She has inspired me to become better than I ever have been in my life. She has taught me so much and I love her with all that I am.

Namaste'

Ron

aka Big Old Bear

First, I want to say. YAY!!! You are SO fortunate to have survived what you've been through.

As for Bella, she really needs to give herself a great big pat-on-the-back for all she's been through. With the children, the ex-husband (which I hope had to serve some prison time for what he did), the money issues, health, and emotional challenges....She is one very, very strong woman. You're lucky to have a woman like her. (Us fighters tend to stick around a little longer than the whimps. )

When I'm down and life is hard- LIKE NOW! I will try to think of Bella.

You are right, there are people out there that have it better, and some worse than us.

My psychologist reminds often that I did absolutely nothing to deserve all this pain and suffering. He reminds me that life isn't fair. He knows I would much rather be working than doing something productive.

All we can do is take it one day at a time, and try and make right choices. Then hopefully, at the end of the week, we can look back and reflect on the things we've done and have some glimmer of hope for the next week.

I bought these cards. There are 52 SELF-CARE cards. They are wonderful. I try to pull one out at random, and focus on it's meaning. You all should get some and try them.

Okay, so I'm tired, fibro-foggy, and starting to ramble, making no sense. So I better get off.

Again, thanks for the story. I could give you quite the story too. Bella and I have some of the same things in common, with the illnesses, and life.

Feel free to PM if you ever want to. Or Bella can PM me and we'll chat awhile.

Take care! Continue taking good care of Bella!

Debbi

{{{{Hugs}}}}

foggy