Fibromyalgia Support Group

Struggling so much... even to write this... trying to understand the "new me," who I hate, and figure out how to continue living. Two years ago I was a yoga expert, dancer (socially), 31 and seemingly invincible. Now I'm 33 with Fibromyalgia, 2 or 3 bulging discs, back arthritis and degenerative disc disease. I'd been coping with generalized anxiety disorder to begin with. I hate what has happened to me, especially on the bad days when I can't even walk. I have no one to talk to about this, not even my fiancee will listen without it becoming a lecture about keeping my spirits up, a scolding about feeling like a victim, etc... as much as he says he's by my side, I am in this alone.

your not alone anymore..Im so sorry for your strugles I also have back injury and fibro plus..

it is amazing feeling knowing your not aone welcome to the group

Hi fightingbroken,

We do understand where you are coming from. You can't hate yourself for this. You are not your condition. Hate the condition(s), not yourself.

You are not alone. Maybe we weren't yoga instructors, but all of us mourn the lives that we've had to leave behind. We can certainly understand your pain, your depression and your feelings of being alone.

We also understand your fiance, at least to a point. Men do not understand our need to vent and explore our feelings out loud. They tend to be "fixers" and it frustrates them that they cannot fix us and we become frustrated by their good-hearted, if futile, attempts to fix what cannot be fixed.

I'm not sure how much research you've done on fibro, but anxiety often accompanies it. Which came first, the fibro or the anxiety? I know I cannot tell but I also know that my physical symptoms are a lot better now that I'm taking klonopin for the anxiety. We do know that stress equals flares so you need to work on your stress levels. Maybe because of all your spinal problems you can't practice yoga the way you did before, but you need to stretch and breath as much as possible. Deep breathing exercises, meditation and gentle exercising are key in keeping the pain from ruling your life. Normally we recommend yoga, tai chi or aqua exercises but it sounds like you are not able to do any of that at this point. That pretty much just leaves walking for you.

I hope you can come to accept this new chapter in your life and realize, at least, that you ARE NOT YOUR CONDITION and you are not alone. You have us.

newbie hugs,

Hi there hun! First of all, you're not alone in this - you have us now. Welcome to the family.

Second, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough go of it! I think with any chronic illness, there's definitely a grieving period.

I'm always here if you need to talk hun!

Love,

Your fibrosister

I understand you. I have just been through the roughest two months of my life. My whole body ached and I had horrible headaches and was extremely exhausted. The shooting pains hurt so bad and all l I wanted to do was sleep. I had to take three weeks off of work and I was denied disability--darn them disability people! I know it's hard to stay positive, but always remember someone out there is thinking of you. I will be here if you have any questions or just want to talk.

Post edited by: Sm1ley, at: 09/27/2010 02:53 PM

Hello fightingbroken and Welcome to our group ~~~

I am sorry you suffer from Fibro as the rest of us here do.

I was officially dx d 4 1/2 years ago and it took me awhile to understand, accept and then learn to cope living with Fibro everyday. I have always been a very active person also and while I still work full-time, I have given up just about everything else I used to do because I never know from one day to the next how good/bad I will feel when I get up in the mornings.

The ONLY thing I never say ""no"" to is my dear grandson such as attending a school function with/for him or just spending the day with him in general. He is definitely the light of my life and I intend to enjoy him to the fullest until he gets too big to want his Grammie around so much.

I hate to admit it (even to myself) but I have very little support of what I am going thru from my husband so that leaves my daughter and one very dear friend other than the wonderful friends I have here in the Fibro Family that understand and offer support.

I thoroughly agree with Bobbi ( they (men)tend to be "fixers" and it frustrates them that they cannot fix us). Anything I have ever had wrong, health-wise, previously could always be ""fixed"" or taken care of with surgery or PT or some other way. Fibro does not, will not and cannot be ""fixed"" so we are stuck with the daily pain.

You are not alone as long as you come here to talk with us. This is the most caring, supportive and compassionate group I have found and I intend to stick around as long as they will have me.

I look forward to getting to know you better soon ~~~

Marilyn

Welcome ti the family....It is tough to wrap your head around what has happened to us...

Just when I was getting a handle on my fibro I have been seeing doctors since march for my left side going numb and periododically not working slurring my words cant think cant talk.. fun fun fun... They "think " I have Episodic Ataxia and would explain alot of my last 3 years of whatever..the more i research this disease the more i realize i t could have been a further back when it started and I just blew off the symptoms ofor something else... but we do go thru the grieving period we do feel bad... we have lost a part of us.... but we do have to keep our spirits we should try and get up each day and face it... and it makes it a little easier knowing I have a family right here that listens and cares and most importantly loves me for who i am with no fear of judgement...

Hugs my friend... you are in good hands...

I too have my moments when I watch people walking and wish I could just walk without pain. Sometimes it makes me want to cry. I feel like I took walking for granted.

I totaly understand where you're at. I have a similar story. It's the pain that just takes everything out of you. I used to be so upbeat, made the best out of everything. But living in pain 24/7 is not a life. It's a jail ceil, but no crime was done. I to am fighting to understand my new life.... all the best to you.

First I'd like to say thank you. With every reply since yesterday, I cried just hearing that I wasn't alone, that there might be someone to talk to. I heard so many great insights... like being in a jail cell when no crime was done. There is more I fear to share... to answer raynedae, the anxiety came long before the Fibro, but it became quickly obvious that the two were connected. I don't know how I'm going to function, waking up one day and feeling "functional if medicated" and the next day not being able to move. My company was kind enough to grant me a medical leave, but I was actually hoping to leave that company. But to whom would I go now? No matter how good I am at what I do, who's going to accommodate a new hire in this condition?

Two years ago my soulmate came to live with me. We had become best friends when I flew out for training, and 6 months later it turned into something we both left our lives for... to be together. One day we were "horsing around," as I've always been physically strong and didn't mind a good scrap with a lover, just playing around. This time I lost, and was the recipient of a "Samoan Back Breaker" and my first concussion. After over a year of speculation, it's become clearly obvious that even if the condition was underlying, that was certainly the wrestling move that broke my back, so to speak. Now there is no yoga, no dancing, no walking, and I honestly have days when I question whether I can move forward. It's caused me to be a bit resentful toward him, as I lie in pain wondering what my day would be like if none of this happened. I don't know what to do or how to live, how to love (without viewing him as the cause), what to expect with the rest of my life... DO I HAVE ONE? Will I be able to move on to a new, better life or has this pretty much declared the end of any hope for happiness? Am I a hopeless, broken woman now? Thank you all so much for your replies... I need them more than you know, and every character typed is greatly appreciated. My friends all disappeared when I stopped going to the clubs two years ago and opted for a healthier, more peaceful life, focusing on my career... and now this happens, so I fight broken and alone.