Negative discussion

I have fibromyalgia, mixed connective tissue disease, hypothyroidsm, Reynouds, sleep apnea, rotator cuff (syndrome, disorder?) I forget. SO, before you say I don't know what I am talking about please realize I do.

MY STORY:

My dream was to have eight kids, homeschool all my kids, be the perfect wifey and mommy.

MY reality is much different.

I am still the perfect wife and mommy for my family. But the dream I live is not what I wanted for myself. I have chronic illness that sometimes leaves me crying in pain, unable to do the basics.

It started in junior high. I was always in pain, always sick to my stomach, unable to shake the tension? headaches. It kept on throughout my life. Skip to new mommyhood. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't take care of myself and my new little family. I hurt all the time. ALL the time. I couldn't sleep. I ate so I could nurse the baby.

Then when the second came around I was worse. SICK. ALL THE TIME.

By the time my third child was born, it was the end. I had sunk into depression so deeply. I told my doctor that there had to be something wrong. He told me to keep a journal and try to get a sitter and get out of the house more.

I contimplated suicide but couldn't do that to my kids.

I kept searching for answers, quickly realizing that the only one to pull me out would be me. It took me ten years before I got a diagnosis, it has been seven years since I got this diagnosis. I don't think it is all that accurate. I think it is more than fibro. I know though I can control certain aspects of it by

A) eliminating people from my life who treat me like crap.

Surrounding myself with positive people

C) Trying to make a difference in my world everyday.

D)Taking a big mental bow any time I get something done.

E) Being proud of myself for the little things I do. ie: I folded clothes...YAY ME.

Negativity breeds negativity....if **I** me personally, this is me I am talking about...if I dwell on the things going wrong in my life I would not get out of bed. There are so many sad, depressing things going on you have NO idea. But, if I give in to them, that would be the end for me. I have no idea why I needed to say this, maybe to convince myself to keep being positive.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone, I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Sometimes too, it is good to come here and get it out before I open my mouth and say something in real life that I shouldn't

*♥´¨)
¸.•♥ ´¸.•*♥´¨ ♥•*¨)
(¸.•´ ; (¸ ;.♥•Mary Beth♥


Fibromyalgia is not an invisible diease, I'm right here!

I am finding more and more that it really helps to list things out like you did so that I can see visually what I need to do to help myself. I know it intellectually and have for quite some time. However, sometimes when I am getting into a rut I need to see it in writing before I can act on it. Does that make sense? It's a way for me to stop the guilt of what I am feeling and to ackowledge the reality of the situation to be able to do what I need to in order to take better care of myself. In fact, we all need occasional reminders of how to break the rut at times.

So, I thank you for reminding me of the basics that I need to do. You go girl! Keep fighting the good fight and know that you are NOT alone!

{{{{{Loving hugs}}}}}

when you said;

Negativity breeds negativity....if **I** me personally, this is me I am talking about...if I dwell on the things going wrong in my life I would not get out of bed. There are so many sad, depressing things going on you have NO idea. But, if I give in to them, that would be the end for me. I have no idea why I needed to say this, maybe to convince myself to keep being positive

You couldn't be more right!!!! And the list you made where you said that you needed to remove people from your life who treat you like crap you are absolutely right!! That is what I have been trying to do and it is hard.

I agree with coolmamma....I thank you for reminding me of the basics that I need to do!!!

And I also say YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!

you are absolutely correct we all need a safe place and I already feel that this is my safe place......Hugs to everyone from me as well.