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FMS ForumsGeneral & Supportdepression is taking over
05/08/2008 09:15 AM
foxyroxy1
foxyroxy1
 
Posts: 449
Member

I dont want to do anything, talk to anyone, I only want to sleep. I am pretty sure its all side effects from my stupid fentanyl patch that is not helping. I hurt like hell and have no choice, I need to go to work today. Two people have already commented to me today that they havnt talked to me in a while and I told them its because I dont feel like talking to anyone. I am tired of hearing about my so called friends perfect little lives. I want them to live a day in my shoes so they can see why I say the things I do and do the things I do! Because my life is crappy , has no meaning, is PAIN FILLED CONSTANTLY, and is no fun anymore. I am tired of it!
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05/08/2008 04:23 PM  Top
foxyroxy1
foxyroxy1
 
Posts: 449
Member

My day never got any better, left work without even saying goodbye to anyone. I hope going in tomorrow helps. I have no more hope.

05/08/2008 05:14 PM  Top
Bkwrm398
Bkwrm398
 
Posts: 993
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

Foxyroxy,

You have got to let your husband and your doctor know how bad you are feeling. Don't be afraid or ashamed to tell them you have to have help!! The sooner the better!!!

Hang on....we're all here for you....sending you a big hug


05/08/2008 05:26 PM  Top
AngelBooze
AngelBooze
 
Posts: 289
Member

foxyroxy1, I agree with Blwrm398. You have got to talk to your husband and doctor so that they can help you. I know from experience not to keep it all to myself because that is just worse on you then to let someone help you. Please tell them and get yourself some help. We are here for you and if you need anything then someone will always be here to help you.

I am sending you {{Soft & Gentle Hugs}} and also my prayers & thoughts.

Rita

{{Soft & Gentle Hugs}}
Angelbooze

05/08/2008 05:45 PM  Top
cadburry
cadburry
 
Posts: 543
Member

Depression has gotten me too.

I'm also having other symptoms that I have never heard are related to Fibro and it's scaring me. My mom is talking about us getting a place togaether because I have gotten so bad, and we keep talking about if I die that at least we will have time to arrange for her to have custody of my children. It's hard not to get depressed when we hurt so bad. It's also hard to not get scared sometimes.

I hope and pray that the pain clinic gets you on the right pain medicine tomarrow.

Sending light and love your way ~Gentle Hugs~


05/08/2008 06:23 PM  Top
foxyroxy1
foxyroxy1
 
Posts: 449
Member

At least its bed time. No more worries until tomorrow. I did just talk to my best friend and told her EVERYTHING. My husband was right there and didnt say a word. Maybe he doesnt care anymore. Anyway tomorow I go in and I wont know any thing until then. Good night all. Thanks.

05/08/2008 07:42 PM  Top
hurtallover
hurtallover
 
Posts: 283
Member

foxyroxy--I hope you sleep well, and tomorrow is a better day. I don't know what's up with today but it seems to have been an awful day for quite a few of us around here. Here's to tomorrow, if nothing else, it's Friday.

05/09/2008 11:43 AM  Top
meleggs
meleggs
 
Posts: 492
Member

I don't know too many people who deal with our condition that have not gone thru some kind of major depression. I know I have. When my fibro got worse and no one could help me it was the worse feeling in the world.

All I can say is I think it is normal to be depressed however if the depression takes over it is probably worth your while to consider an antidepressant and/or talk to a good therapist. I have been thru some tough times in my life but nothing compared to my fibro getting worse. I tried so very hard to crawl out of the depression I was in but I couldn't and it made me feel even worse that I couldn't find a way to overcome it.

I can only say for ME that finally breaking down and going on an antidepressant did help me. It doesn't change fibro in any major way but it does help you not fixated on the condition. It helped my mind rest from all the worrying.

I used to think that if someone wanted to they could crawl out of any depression without medication. My attitude about that changed drastically when I was on the other side of the fence.

I didn't want medication because I felt "I have a right to be depressed- who wouldn't be when your life feels over!" - but when your life seems unbearable from the moment you wake up to when you got to bed from either the physcial aspects of fibro or your current emotional state- that isn't living. On top of that the family and friends that did care about me were getting burned out from trying to help but seeing me cry all the time. I know that is why some people pulled away from me- it is hard for people who love you to watch you suffer so much and unfortunately for some- it is too much so they pull away.

I so understand what the both of you are going thru. If this feeling continues or only gets worse please ask for help. I kept hoping it would just go away but after months it just got worse and worse.

There is no shame in needing "special" support at such a difficult time in your life- m


05/09/2008 01:12 PM  Top
Brandy
 
Posts: 6
Member

I know how you feel, and it will get better.

I've always been the good daughter that kept everything in and this got me into so many problems when I became fogged and depressed.

The depression and fog hit as I was trying to get my undergrad away from home. I barely squeaked through with an oh so not wondrous 2.83 GPA. I have to admit that it was pure brains and luck as I wasn’t making it to over half my classes and didn’t really care about anything.

Then I started going for my graduate degree (as a probationary student because of my low GPA), because I was the good girl and didn’t want to disappoint my parents high expectations. But it just got worse. It got so bad that I stopped cleaning up after my pets and my apartment was filthy. This stressed me even more, since I was sure I was dying and my parents would see everything when they came for my things. It also stressed me because I didn’t know who would take care of and love my pets when I died. During this time, I would go for weeks without making it to a single class, even though I lived on campus. Needless to say I flunked out of the program.

During that time my parents confronted me wanting to know why I was doing so poorly and I broke down. I told them everything and they decided I needed help. I had been on a variety of antidepressants, but they didn’t work well enough. It took experimenting with new medicines (ending up with permanent tremors), message therapy, and months on a shrink’s couch, as well as no worries about working or schooling, but eventually I got better.

Next week I’ll be graduating with my Masters of Public Health degree and a very respectable 3.4 GPA.

So it will get better, just make sure that your doctor knows exactly how bad it is. If you don’t have a doctor that really believes what you say, shop around for someone else. If your husband doesn’t seem to care, talk to your parents or a trusted friend. If you have loving and understanding parents or a friend that truly cares, then do what they say. It can be hard making the right decision when you’re that deep, so ask for specific advice (not just “oh you need to get help”) on what you should do from someone you trust. Then follow that advice.

And don’t let the price tag of professional help scare you away. It might cost a lot and even send you into debt, but your life is worth it.

Post edited by: Brandy, at: 05/09/2008 15:14


05/09/2008 01:46 PM  Top
foxyroxy1
foxyroxy1
 
Posts: 449
Member

Everything is so crappy. Nothing can go my way. Went to the pain clinic and the meds they gave me did nothing again and now I dont go back for 1 and 1/2 weeks. My so called friends are talking about me to my boss at work because they are "worried" about me. Then talk to me! Dont make me look like an ass at work. At least now thats how I feel! I hate life! I calles my old psychiatrist and cant get in untill the end of July. I told them thats not soon enough and said that I want to slit my throght but they said they will call if they get an opening sooner.

I just dont give a f about anything anymore!

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Health Topics: Baclofen, Prilosec, Tremors
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