Fibromyalgia Support Group

Hi... I was wondering.. my daughter is almost 4 and I am having a heck of a time disipling her. She knows I a have a condition in which I can't move very fast at times, and she takes full advantage. She knows I can't force her to stay in timeout, and can't make her go to her room which is on the second floor.. What else can I do? I am her doormat! She is too strong anymore to fight her and she knows it! It causes me so much stress it sends my fibro into fits! How can I let her know whos in charge and for her to start listening to me with my fibro pain?

my daughter and myself would like toknow the answer or sugestions to this as my grandson is almost 3 and very smart for his age so he figures out ways to get around ourdiscipline. Bearsjewel, p.s. internet back and up and running

If it wasn't for my boyfriend my kids would walk all over me!

They used to run from me because they know I can't run (arthritis, knees will give out).

They would run from me in the mall, store, and everywhere! It was horrible, and I would have to fight them all the way out the mall with people looking at me like I was torturing them when in fact they were torturing me lol. I finally got to the point where I looked at the people staring at me and said go on pick up your phone and play hero!

I's so hard with little ones! My daughter was so bad that I decided she needed counceling and I of course went with her, and they basically said I wasn't being firm enough with my kids. They were right though.

If it wasn't for my boyfriend being here to help I would have never gottem them under control.

I really wish I had some amazing advice, but it's so hard without someone around to help.

If you have someone around to help I would tell them you want her in time out and have them enforce it for you.

It was so bad around here that I was looking into that nanny 911 show and boot camp for young children. Hey I was desperate and my kids were terrible and sometimes they still can be, but not as bad as it once was. I used to cry because of the way my kids would act.

I hope someone has some good advice for you, sorry I couldn't come up with something better.

After reading these posts I am thankful that we always seamed to be living with other people when I was first diagnosed so I had alot of help. I probably never thanked them enough. Now my daughter is almost 14 and she does alot of things for me, fetching, and grabbing stuff after I just sat down. She hates it some days. But she is also at that age where she hates me some days.....just because of her age.

I wish I had tips for you. The only thing that comes to mind is a time out spot....but they usually RUN from that area. Good luck.

I appriciate all your understanding, but I need some SERIOUS help! I am married, but my husband has little interest in watching my child at night because of her behaivor, he has no paitience with her at all! She is most definitly not abused, she is just spoiled to death! She is the only one we will ever have and she is our miracle baby due to my endometriosis. And she knows it! I have been talking to her dr. about her behaivor, but all he says is be consistant, and i agree, but I have had alot of bad fibro days since shes been born, and just can't. I have family, but they don't want the burden of helping me, so I feel alone. They only help me if I am at their house, and I don't think thats fair. I'll have to check into some consuling for her, but, the cost and the consistancy they will no doubt require us to have, is a huge responcabilty I don't know if we could afford it right now. My daughter is definitly worth it, but there are other things to consider.

She is very lucky to have such a caring mom. I know its not immeadate help but I will pray that you get the help you need. You deserve it. Is a nanny an option or even a neighbor girl who could help out? Do you belong to a church? Sometimes they have familys who will come help out every few days. I am not a church go-er myself but I have heard stories like that. The high school my daughter is going to next year they have to do so much voulenteer hours a month, maybe you could see if they have a program like that. I bet that would count for it and you wouldnt have to pay then. Same with the church youth groups..Just a few thoughts.

I hope I didn't over step. Good luck. Remember you are very lucky to have her and vice versa. That can be hard at times.

thank you foxy, I appriciate your responce and your advice. you diddn't over step... I appriciate all the help I can get! :}

Try using a different tone to your voice. I don't know if your always have to fuss at her or not and I don't want to insult you, but sometimes just a slight change in your tone of voice may help. I also remember from my childhood sometimes just a look can change their behavor. Course I no longer have young ones mine 18 and I don't really have to say much other than do your own laundry. Sorry I can't help more.

Trisha

I don't know how old you daughter is, but have you thought about taking things/privledges(sp) away from her. For example if you tell her something and she doesn't respond, or misbehaves in some manner you would then take away a toy ect. I know that my kids at all ages had something that they wanted and was important to them. A doll, game, movie, Play Station, favorite snack or food, outside time, you get the picture. The thing is you have to follow through with it if you say no______ for the rest of the day stick to your guns. You could also reverse it and "catch"her being really good and following directions, or playing quietly while you rest ect and reward her accordingly. Might have a lot of tantrums t first, but maybe the next time she will know you mean business. I have 4 kids the youngest with special needs believe me I know where you are coming from. I just went back and read the she is 4, so maybe some of this may work?? Could be several long days of adjustment, but maybe??

Post edited by: hurtallover, at: 05/02/2008 19:54