I feel like I'm constantly fighting with my husband. I know he cares, but I feel like I'm such a disappointment to him. He keeps telling me he misses the old me. I feel like I've died and he's grieving for this old me and he can't see or understand who I am now. He keeps telling me how hard this is for him, but it's hard to feel sorry for him when I'm the one in pain. We've been married for 20 years and it's always been up and down for us. Is anyone out there going through the same things. I feel so sad and so lonely that I cry all the time. I've tried counseling, but I think it's easier to talk to people who are going through the same things. If your out there please let me know how you deal with it.

Not to be a nag but I think Flexeril is a bad choice to treat depression although 10-20mg a night before betime does help with alpha sleep. I think taking it during the day would just make you discombobulated (it does me) as it's a muscle relaxent. Who need's more Fibrofog?

Effexor & Prozac are in the moderately useful category for treating fibro so you could end up with a twofur.

I can't imagine anyone who is faced with our problems that wouldn't be totally sad over the whole thing.

I've lost my career, sexual ability, partial use of my hands & feet (this means that there was no driving myself all summer & it's day by day on that now) & probably my marriage because of my physical problems & then there's always the pain.

It's been almost seven years ago that I blew my back out & I stopped pretending to work in real estate 15 months ago when I finally gave up & applied for SSDI. When I think about having to do another 20 years of this I just get very very sad. I'm better off than most financially my wife works & even if she didn't we have enough money to live on. Still I worry that I'm not the one earning & providing - I used to earn $130-50,000 a year & now even if I could work a little I'm not allowed to work at all while I wait for Social Security to approve me. I even had to instruct my broker to give my last Brokerage commission to charity because the deal closed two months after I filed my claim; never mind that it had started two years ago.

I know that I'm pushing my family away but feel so wounded I can't help it. My wife is very kind & supportive & would do anything to help me but she just can't can't deal with my pain emotionally (she says that if she had to embrace it on that level she'd breakdown & become totally nonfunctional) I can't deal with it any other way. & we are growing apart mostly due to me pushing her away but also because she & also has walled herself off from me & my sickness.

Frankly my life feels like that moment in a car crash when you know your going to hit & theres just nothing you can do about it but you still have time to think: "Oh No !"

Post edited by: bshapiro, at: 10/03/2007 14:11

Post edited by: bshapiro, at: 10/03/2007 14:12

I have been studying the law of attraction. It has made me flip the world around and be grateful for that one heartbeat without pain. That brings me two heartbeats without pain and so on. In my decade with this disease it has been the most effective self treatment I have found. It is hard to find anything to be grateful for with this disease but working on micro-units of time is what keeps me going.