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What do I do now?
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10/02/2007 09:09
bearable
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 I left a decent paying position a year ago partually due to a move to nortern California for my husband's teaching job but have decided not to return to work myself because of severe Fibromyalgia pain as well as other health issues. After a year at home with my childern, I am now at a point where returning to work or finding a source of income is a necessary reality on my part. My husband has a realization of my seizures, glaucoma but feels all my other symptoms are just muscle tension from computer keying for 12 years at my former job. He feels yoga would relieve most of my woes. He just dosen't understand All my hurt. He believes I should file for disability based on my seizure condition with no mention of the Fibromyalgia as hesays it will be ignored and that he is not sure that I have it even though I have been officalled diagnosed for almost 2 years. My pain is for real and I am not making this up. I only have a few seizues a year so I don't think I would get approved on that but the Fibro is real and a previous Tendonitis DX as well. I just know I hurt everywhere. My doctor is unsupportave as she says"at age 39, you will not get approved on a Fibro DX" It hurts to type much,walk, lift much, my back burns,hips ache,sleep is not good,headaches,neck pain,eyes ache, etc. I am not sure how to continue to work in this pain in my regular type of work or most other fields until my health improves but dread the denile that I will prbably face from disability. I just don't know what I should do now.

Post edited by: bearable, at: 10/02/2007 11:11

Post edited by: bearable, at: 10/02/2007 11:40
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10/02/2007 12:28
Snoopy30
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 I also have a husband who doesn't understand. I due to finaces I have been working 2 jobs the past 1&1/2 years. My body can't take it any more but he doesn't see that. I think you need to start with finding a more supportive Dr. who can help you with what your going through. I never felt so good as when i walked into a doctor's office and heard "What you have is real". I hope you find the support and understanding you need here. I am new to the site but find it helpful already.
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10/02/2007 15:29
Aunt Rinn
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 By boyfriend, who is usually really supportive, said to me today he thinks that I just try to find things wrong with me b/c my foot has been killing me all day. I asked if he thought that my feet looked different than each other and that's when he made his comment...I was like you know what, just forget it, thanks for being so nice!
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10/02/2007 17:58
sweetheartsuzee
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 Okay, my turn!!!

But, it's the "flip-side" of the coin...(in a way)!

My boyfriend is THE most wonderful, understanding, caring man in this world! He's always asking if there's anything I need, if I'm okay, if I hurt and almost every morning, he asks me, "How are you feeling today, Sweetheart?" I'm NOT trying to rub this in. My point is...I was married to the worlds largest @$$h0!e for 15 years, who cared NOT ONE BIT about my pain that he thought was all in my head. Like you Snoopy, I worked my @$$ off for a looooong time. To pay the mortgage, to feed the kids, to support his fishing HABIT! And, it wasn't until I left that I finally heard the wayyyyyy too late words, "You don't have to work, I'll work 3 jobs if I have to so you don't have to." "You shouldn't have had to work double night shifts as a CNA (which I ran my tail off doing)...I SHOULD HAVE taken care of you".

Please you guys...listen to me. If they don't understand and care now...they are never going to unless you can get your doctor to MAKE THEM GET IT! And, that might be what it takes. Either way...I really, really hate to hear that you all have to live with NO support from your 'other half'. It's not right, it's not fair and it's an awful feeling. Believe me...I KNOW!!

Please, do what you can to get them to understand!!! YOU NEED THEM AND THEIR SUPPORT!!!!

I wish you ALL the VERY BEST OF LUCK!! You can make it happen...I know you can! If I can, anyone can!

{{{{Fibro Hugs To All Of You}}}}

~Suzee~
Only YOU can control your thoughts...
SO...
Change your thoughts and CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!
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10/02/2007 18:16
Aunt Rinn
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 I was really disappointed to hear him say that. I don't know if they realize how much it hurts to hear something like that from our "better halves". Ordinarily he's asking me what he can do for me and it's not like I'm complaining everyday like I could be. I mean seriously, my foot has been ON FIRE and I can only imagine this is what it feels like to have a broken foot, maybe even shattered. It's really really stiff and I contemplate the ER.

I don't know what his issue is today, but Suzie, you are absolutely right. This is not going to change, but we can change who is around us. If they can't be supportive 100% of the time, then the negative times start to overrule. There are not enough apologies in the world that would cover or make an ignorant remark, such as me "finding something wrong with me", any better! Better yet, I'm the one that has to get up early and be late for work b/c his car broke down this morning. All the while my foot is feeling like I just want to cut it off - burning, stinging, cramping.

It's like all the pain I have felt in my body is now centralized in my foot and it won't go away. I'm starting to wonder if the Neurontnin is causing me to be more inflamed. I would think after nearly 3 weeks of the med that I wouldn't be in sooooo much damn pain! I can hardly stand myself. I know...I'm off topic, but I just really want to cut it off at this point...it's causing my leg to ache and my skin to become sensitive, but I'm making it up, right? WRONG! Thanks for listening to my off topic rant, but I agree 100% with you Suzie...we don't need or deserve anything less than understanding daily! We don't have a choice in this overwhelming condition, so they don't have a choice either if they love us enough to be supportive 1/2 the time!
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10/02/2007 20:33
kychick
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 I think that my husband is somewhere in the middle. He says he loves me, and I know he worries about me cause he calls me every morning. But some how I feel like I'm such a disappointment to him. I was told by my doctor to quit working and try for disability after I had a complete breakdown during an mri. My bp shot up to 190/100 and all I could do is cry. I couldn't function for a week until my oldest daughter who is 28 took charge and got me some help. She gets me when nobody else does. I have 2 other kids 15 and 17 at home. The 17 yro is mentally challenged and acts more like a 8 yro. If it wasn't for them I am pretty sure I'd leave and go and live with my parents who also gets me and worries about me. It seems like even a simple cold is worse for me than everybody else, and he let me lie there and got mad at me for not going to the doctor. I told him next time I was going to stay with my mom and dad becouse at least they would take care of me. I think all he cares about is the farm, the cows and the horses. Life is so hard........Isn't it enough to be sick all the time, without having to feel sooooo sorry for being sick???
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10/02/2007 23:55
MrsAmanda
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 I agree with Suzee. It is SO IMPORTANT that our loved ones and other halves are our biggest source of support. They are the ones who we lean on 90 % of the time. Im not trying to tell you what to do, but you have GOT to nip this in the bud NOW.

Im lucky because my husband is very supportive. Ne works 60 hours a week to support us, and he would work 2 jobs if he needed to.

If you are going to feel better at all, your loved ones are the most important part of the process.

Best of luck,

Amanda
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10/03/2007 08:30
bearable
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 I am sorry you are going through this. It dissapoints me so when I hear the words that we are just trying to find things wrong with us. Believe me, that is the exact feeling I get when I go to my local town doctor. I almost hate to mention any new pain because I get the feeling she thinks I am just a complainer. I don't come in asking for drugs or someone to whine to, I come in because I HURT and want to be better. I had even begun to wonder in my own mind because of some of the things I have been told. Then I get snapped back into my real world and I can tell you the pain is real. My best friend understands my pain the most. My honey loves me and knows I hurt just lacks the ability to understand just how much and how often. This is not just from 12 years of being at a desk, It's quite a bit more than that...
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10/03/2007 08:38
bearable
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 Amanda, Thanks for your response. I am glad that you have the support of your spouse! Hope that will continue as it helps to make the battle more bearable. Have a smile today...
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10/03/2007 17:51
ALB1
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 I have a wonderful husband. He is my rock. He supports me with everything and I support him. He is understanding and wouldn't care if I quit work because of the pain and the fatigue. We would be okay financially but there would be no extras. My parents and siblings on the other hand have never been supportive of me in anything. My parents treated me very badly and they taught my siblings to do it too. I do have a supportive niece that I love so much. She and I support each other. I have sent my mother brochures and articles on Fibromyalgia and she never mentions them. It used to hurt but now I just blow it off.

Jenni

"Fake it til you make it."

My disabling chronic illness is more real than your imaginary medical expertise.
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