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04/18/2008 07:38
JustAnnie
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Hi everybody! Good morning and I hope you all have a pain free day.

I am not claiming to have written this but I really want to share this with you all because it is so important for people who do not have fibromyalgia to understand excatly what it is and how it effects us daily. Please take the time to read this and if you can, make a copies ...

I have this hanging on my refridgerator:

If you were born with healthy genes, you may know me but you don't understand me. I was not as lucky as you. I inherited the predisposition to chronic pain, fatigue and forgetfulness. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (FMS) after months, years or even decades of mysterious physical and emotional problems. Because you didn't know how sick I was, you called me lazy, a malingerer, or simply ridiculous. If you have the time to read on, I would like to help you understand how different I am from you.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FIBROMYALGIA

1. FMS is not the newest fad disease. In fact, it isn't a disease at all, and it isn't even new. In 1815, a surgeon at the University of Edenburgh, William Balfour, described fibromyalgia. Over the years, it has been known as chronic rheumatism, myalgia and fibrositis. Unlike diseases, syndromes do not have a known cause, but they do have a specific set of signs and symptoms which, unfortunately for the patient, take place together. Rheumatoid arthritis and lupus are also syndromes.

2. The many physical and emotional problems associated with FMS are not psychological in origin. This is not an "all in your head" disorder. In 1987, the American Medical Association recognized FMS as a true physical illness and major cause of disability.

3. Syndromes strike life-long athletes as viciously as they do couch potatoes. They can be disabling and depressing, interfering with even the simplest activities of daily life.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

1. My pain - My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation. Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I can not work my pain out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is believed to be caused by improper signals sent to the brain, possibly due to sleep disorders. It is not well understood, but it is real.

2. My fatigue - I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can't. Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall yesterday, but I can't help you with yard work today, it isn't because I don't want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles beyond their capability.

3. My forgetfulness - Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don't have any short-term memory at all.

4. My clumsiness - If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control for that. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. These days, I take life and stairwells one step at a time.

5. My sensitivities - I just can't stand it! "It" could be any number of things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, odors. FMS has been called the "aggravating everything disorder." So don't make me open the drapes or listen to your child scream. I really can't stand it.

6. My intolerance - I can't stand heat, either. Or humidity. If I am a man, I sweat...profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally embarrassing, so please don't feel compelled to point this shortcoming out to me. I know. And don't be surprised if I shake uncontrollably when it's cold. I don't tolerate cold, either. My internal thermostat is broken, and nobody knows how to fix it.

7. My depression - Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in the house or die. I have lost count of how many of Dr. Kevorkian's patients suffered from FMS as well as other related illnesses. Severe, unrelenting pain can cause depression. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.

8. My stress - My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I'm not lazy. Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.

9. My weight - I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by choice. My body is not your body. My appestat is broken, and nobody can tell me how to fix it.

10. My need for therapy - If I get a massage every week, don't envy me. My massage is not your massage. Consider how a massage would feel if that charley horse you had in your leg last week was all over your body. Massaging it out was very painful, but it had to be done. My body is knot-filled. If I can stand the pain, regular massage can help, at least temporarily.

11. My good days - If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don't assume I am well. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no cure. I can have my good days or weeks or even months. In fact, the good days are what keep me going.

12. My uniqueness - Even those who suffer from FMS are not alike. That means I may not have all of the problems mentioned above. I do have pain above and below the waist and on both sides of my body which has lasted for a very long time. I may have migraines or hip pain or shoulder pain or knee pain, but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else.

I hope that this helps you understand me, but if you still doubt my pain, your local bookstore, library and the internet have many good books and articles on fibromyalgia.

Author's note: This letter is based on communications with people throughout the world, males and females, who suffer from fibromyalgia. It does not represent any one of the over 10,000,000 people with FMS, but it can help the healthy person understand how devastating this illness can be. Please do not take these people and their pain lightly. You wouldn't want to spend even a day in their shoes...or their bodies.

When the world says give up, hope whispers give it one more try... unknown
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04/18/2008 07:47
Cathy0402
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i truely loved that and thank you for posting it this is getting printed and i will make sure all the people i love and people i know get a copy of this thank you again i really loved reading it in fact i read it three times thanks again
cathryn
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04/18/2008 08:04
JustAnnie
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You are certainly welcome Cathy! this is one of my favorite pieces that I have found on fibro on the internet. I only wish I knew who actually wrote it so that I could thank them a hundred times over.
When the world says give up, hope whispers give it one more try... unknown
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04/18/2008 16:18
ZeusMom
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i, too, am printing this out! thank you, annie for sharing!
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04/18/2008 16:27
faieriemama
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I love it Annie,it is going up right next to the "letter for normals" and the "50 symptoms of fibromyalgia". May be we should make flyers out of some of these and just hand them to people who ask"What's your problem?", it would be less tiring than trying to explain it for 20 minutes.
May the sun bring you new energies by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night ,
May the rain wash away any worries you may have,
And the breeze blow new strength into your being,
And then,all the days of your life,
May you walk gently through the world,and know it’s beauty and yours.
A Native American Blessing
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04/18/2008 17:37
cadburry
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This letter is perfect for my boyfriend.I have honestly been thinking of ending my relationship with him because he just doesn't get it. He thinks I'm lazy.Who in their rightmind is to lazy to go out and have fun, visit with friends, Gosh I would love to join my girlfriends over at the mexican resturaunt for margerita Tuesdays.

I was on the phone with my mom yesterday while going through my childrens summer clothes and I told her that I was going to have to stop because it was causing my back to start hurting really bad.My boyfriend was standing there and he sighed sarcastically.He said he's not cleaning this house anymore that I will have to get my mom to do it.In fact my mom came over yesterday and did it while he sat on the sofa.It made me so mad.

I told him fine but when my mom has a few words for you I'm not going to shut her up.

My mom even tried to explain how I feel to him and he never even looked at her.

He says he loves me and he will be with me sick or not, but if he loved me he would stop trying to push me because I will throw myself into a major flare.

It makes me angry more than sad that he doesn't try to understand. I just don't get him though either.When I'm crying because the pain is to much he is there asking what can he do to help me feel better.

Maybe he is just having a hard time with this himself.I don't know , but regardless it's 100 times harder on me than it is on him.

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04/18/2008 17:44
Fletch2ya
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hey....great letter////
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04/18/2008 17:46
cadburry
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Ok well I tried to read this to him and he was like yeah in a sarcastic way by the time I got to number 11. I told him to get out of my face.
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04/18/2008 18:50
BLB
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Nicely written....I agree 1000%....I had a great day today and planted flowers and my herbs in pots...now I have my heating pad on my back...and so it goes....Keep smiling and enjoying this beautiful weather at least in Oklahoma....Hope all of you have a great weekend too!! I am working right now but I am working from my house. I am an on call nurse...I am very lucky in the regard that I can work from home.

Hugs,

Barb

Post edited by: BLB, at: 04/18/2008 20:52

Hugs,
Barb
God will never give you more than you can handle!!
Meditation helps stress...so Meditate daily...
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http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1560054877&v=feed&viewas=1560054877

We all have time on our hands...be productive and help others!
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05/08/2008 08:22
JanfromTN
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I just read your letter and it explains things so much better than I can. I usually lose my train of thought when I try to tell someone how I feel. I usually just tell people that the flesh in my body hurts for no reason and no one knows why. I don't have to bump into something and no one has to hit me for me to hurt. Just living in my own skin hurts.
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