I did start complaining of the pain about 6 months before I could no longer work.I have now been out of work for one year and 4 months.I have cried to my doctor on many occasions about the pain and not being able to urn my neck sometimes and then when I had the MRI of my back show that all was normal my doctor said Fibro. We went through the tender points and she sent me home with Lyrica and told me to read about it on the internet. I drove all the way home thinking I had something that was going to kill me.I couldn't bring myself to ask the doctor if I was going to die from this.

I was so releived to learn that I wasn't going to die, but on all the sites I read it said theres no cure.I went into a weird phase and am just now coming out of it.

I accepted it and I didn't, does this make sense?

I tried to will it away thinking that the mind is a powerful thing and I can somehow push this pain out, but of course it didn't work and only made me more upset.

Here is my admission, I am now accepting that I have Fibromyalgia. I didn't want to, but I was going to have nervous breakdown if I didn;t just accept it.

I am now looking for ways to deal with this.

I know I'm not the only one who has had a hard time accepting this and I would really like to hear from all of you how you came to terms with it.I feel like I have given up to this, but theres really no getting out of it.

I find myself crying simply because I know this is not going away.I have asked my doctor to put me on zoloft because it is the only thing I don't have a bad reaction to.

So it would mean allot to me if you are feeling up to it, if you could let me know how you learned to deal, and accept this.

I finally went to see a psychologist. In a way I was relieved to have a diagnosis and in another way I wasn't. All I can really tell you is that we have to learn how to live with it. So on the days we can accomplish something , we do. And on the other days, we don't. We have to know our limits. The first time I noticed real bad fibro fog I FREAKED out thinking I was getting Alzheimer's like my Mom. It is very hard to live with something that you know will be there for the rest of your life. But you are still who you are. You are a kind a caring soul and eventually you will come to terms with it and have a full, happy life. It's up to you to make the most of what you've got. I just know you will and in the meantime, I will keep you in my prayers. Lots of gentle hugs to you.

I'm soo sorry hun...in my opinion, you're at the HARDEST part of this stuff. Accepting it is HARD...no, it's AWFUL! BUT...it can be done and it has to be. The sooner I accepted the fact that I had to live this way and I had to make the best of what I had to deal with...the easier it became for me.

When I learned to say, "I'm sorry, I CAN'T!" AND...not feel guilty for it...I knew I had totally accepted it! There are times I seem to think that I do still feel guilty. But, I turned that into not guilt but sadness instead. I am sad when I can't go somewhere that everyone else is going and do the things others are doing. It makes me sad! But, not guilty!! NO WAY! It's NOT my fault!

Coming to terms with the fact that you now have to accept it and move on and live your life may take some time, or...it may be easy for you. Especially if you've 'put it off' for some time now! But either way...you can and will accept it and you will get through it and there's always a tomorrow. I found it easiest for myself to worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Focus on today and now...don't worry too much about the future because you have to take it as it comes and you'll learn to do that darn well too!

Throughout it all...I'm here for you and I'm really glad that even though you didn't want to accept it...you're HERE! You've already got 'us'...so that already puts you one step up!

{{{{Hugs}}}}

Now, you have to accept the new you. You're still going to get angry and depressed. But, eventually you'll learn when to slow down. And you are going to learn how to say "NO". And you are going to have to be comfortable in your new body. And, this doesn't happen over night. Think of it as setting out on a vigil to a faraway land and what you must do and must not do to get to your destination. And know that someone is always here to help you along the way!

((((HUGS))) Kathy

we all need "splashes" of JOY in the cesspools of life
3:16...........real joy

You are making a big step in admitting that you know you have to accept the Fibro. At least you know that you don't have to go through it alone now. You have us to lean on.

Soft & gentle hugs to you

or go away,and I would again be able to do what I was capable of for the first several years after my diagnosis. Then....BOOM...it hit me with a vengeance starting about a year and a half ago after a series of trumatic emotional events and high stress, as well as a number of viruses.

I began getting really bad last August and I am still in this flare.

All of my symptoms got worse, especially the debilitating fatigue that caused me to spend most of my days in bed and sleepwalk through the few hours I was able to get anything done. I was in a fog the whole time and felt that my body and my life had been taken over by some hostile alien creature.

For me, this is when the denial began, about 7 yrs. after my diagnosis, when I began struggling to function mentally and physically every single day, and I felt I could no longer be a good parent to my boys. Guilt...sadness...a sense of loss....anger at this disease and my normal friends who don't understand or sympathize and go about their merry ways and have abandoned me...the loneliness and isolation...the depression and anxiety about what my life will be like in the future and how I will pay for everything when I am "useless" and have no income. The raw fear of the unknown. The same things that so many of us go through.

I remembered Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grieving:

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance, and I realized that this process applies to me in grieving the loss of the "old" me and all of the things that I used to enjoy that once defined me and gave me pleasure that I can no longer do, or if I can do them, cannot do at the level that I once did without pain and consequences (being in bed for the next week!)

I find that sometimes, with this disease, because of its ever-changing symptoms and periods of "good days" and long flares, I vascillate between the stages sometimes. Sometimes I am in anger, sometimes depression, sometimes denial, and in better times, acceptance of where I am with this disease.

I found this description of acceptance and I think it fits:

"Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth..."

Learning to love and accept myself as I am at this minute, not always comparing myself to how I used to be, no longer feeling guilt when I have to say "no" in order to take care of my needs and my health, learning and truly FEELING that I have value as a person just because I am a precious child of God, and I still have much to contribute -- just in a different way. Personal growth? Definitely! I have become stronger, wiser and more compassionate, less focused on material success and having more "stuff."

But as Suzi says, this does not mean that I am not ever SAD about not being able to participate in things that I used to enjoy with people I enjoy being with. The sadness is still there, but I am acquiring the tools, especially since joining this site, to focus on what I still CAN do, and to be grateful for the many blessings in my life.

I still get ANGRY at the ignorant doctors and normals and employers who don't get it, as so many of us do, and I think this anger is a good thing. It means we haven't given up the fight to find better treatment and understanding of fibro and recognition that it is a debilitating condition.

Admitting that you have fibro is the first step on the path to acceptance...then it is a process and a journey that everyone experiences in their own time and manner.

gentle hugs,

Sherry

When I was told I had Fibro, I was just happy to have a diagnosis. after being sick for so many years. Back then, there was not much to learn. I just kind of went on with my life. By the time I was told fibro, I had already been sick for about 12yrs.

It was not until I got to the point where I could no longer take care of my children, that I really got angry. I had to come to termes with and my progressing illness. Now most of the time I am good. But I still get angry, sad,& give myself a pitty party.

I think it just takes time and you get a different mind set about it all.

I dont know if I can help, but I am here if you need to talk.

dragonfly

What has also made this hard is my doctor is very cold hearted when I cry and tell her how badly I hurt. My mom was with me and told her that she cries too because she hates seeing me suffer like this.My doctor looked at me and said don't tell your mom how you feel.

When we walked out my mom said that I can and need to tell her how I feel because she wants to know if I'm feeling ok or not.

This comment from my doctor made me feel lower than low. I felt like she was right, but if I couldn't have my mom to help me then I would have no one. I decided that I would continue to cry on my moms shoulder if I need to because I would want her to cry on mine if she needed to.

Part of what makes this so hard too was all my life I thought when you hurt the doctors do everything they can to help stop the pain or ease it. I have found that doctors do not care about your pain and they really don't want to treat it either. This has caused me allot of anxiety and tears. I do go to the pain management clinic on the 28th of this month, and I'm scared that they will send me out the door with nothing to help my pain and then I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.I can't be sent away again with nothing! I also have arthritis in my knees and this hurts terribly too.

My mom thinks that the pain doctor will give me pain meds, but I am finding it difficult to allow myself to have this hope.

I told my mom that if they tell me they are not going to give me pain medication I want to dig my fingernails into their skin and tell them lets do this all day and I want you to be happy and forget about it.

I'm so nervous about my pain management appointment because I don't want to be thrown away to suffer again.

Hugs to you wishing you a 'sleepful' night.