I'm sorry but I have to agree with mamanordy. It's always amazing to me how one group can set out to stifle others that they don't agree with.

We simply don't want everyone "discussing" religion on the posts.

Please people! Stop blowing this all out of proportion. We're not trying to be difficult here. Just trying to set some boundaries since there are so many of us.

Thank you.

Amy

1."No one here is neither right, nor wrong."

Ok so that is just really rediculous! When someone posts information that I "KNOW" is incorrect and could possibly harm someone...I WILL SAY SO! Period...if that gets me kicked off here then so be it! I would not feel like a human being who cared about people at all if I didn't speak up!!!

2. No speaking of religion!

Now, I do agree that we shouldn't get on here and preach hell fire and damnation. But, I am one lady who is sick and tired of sitting back and letting OTHERS take MY RIght to talk about GOD away!!! I'm just SICK OF IT!!! IF a thread is talking about God and you don't believe or like it...just stay out of that thread....it's that SIMPLE folks!!! No one forces anyone to be a part of that kind of thread. IT's like TV, if you don't like what's on you simply change the channel!!!

3.No selling of products!

Ok I Don't sell anything so this doesn't pertain to me personally BUT...

YOu say this and then contradict it by saying oh but it's ok for some things like the car magnets (please no offense to Amy). So what this sounds like is...No selling unless it just happens to be something "we" as leaders might be interested in. A rule is a rule ????

Like I said, I'm pretty new here and still getting to know people and making friends. I would like to continue to do so.

But, I AM AN ADULT! I don't come to a public forum just to have someone tell me what I can and not talk about. Sure rules are important, but they need to make sense...such as No profanity, No sexual content, no harassing, no threatening remarks! These are the "usual" kind of forum rules. Which I am not oposed to

I do agree if the thread is talking about God and you don't beleive in God then you could just move on.

I do however also agree that it is wrong to debate wether God is real or not.

I also don't think it's right to point out what people have said that may have seemed rude once they have saw their error and apologized for it.

I don't think we should form some sort of online war where there is suppose to be support and understanding.

"Since periods of great change, such as the present one, come so rarely in human history, it is up to each of us to make the best use of our time to help create a happier world." Dalai Lama

For those of you that didn't I'm going to explain it in my way. Our jobs as leaders is to try and keep peace between members, monitor posts for content and edit anything we deem as inappropriate, help support members and welcome new members. Now you would think that this would be a easy thing to do but let me tell you its not. I personally read each and every post that is made on this site daily. That in itself takes several hours each day. Each post that is made is sent to my email box, all of them. Now not only do I have to read each post but I have to decide if the content is appropriate. Then when a situation arises that someone's feelings is hurt I get pm's from those and have to respond to each and every one of them. This also takes several hours each day. The reason for all of this is so that we can keep this forum in some kind of working order. Without guidelines there would be no forum to speak of. There would be no place for people to go and receive the support they need to live with this disease that we all suffer from. Recently, we have had to spend more time resolving arguements between members that we cannot even receive the support that we came here to receive. We don't have the time. We also don't have the time to do the other jobs at hand, like welcoming new members and giving support to those who need it. I think its sad that there is so much bickering going on that we have to spend most of our time putting out fires instead of supporting the members that need our help. If everyone would just get along and stop bickering there would not be a reason for posts like these. Many members have left the forum due to the bickering and many leaders has quit because of it too. Please everyone just try and follow the guidelines so that we as leaders can spend more time giving and receiving support instead of wasting our time putting out fires!! We came here for the same reasons you did, for support. Thats not what were receiving right now.

I know it very difficult to make everyone happy all of the time, and I know that you did not want to upset anyone here...just remind everyone that this is a peaceful site with rules. Just like any place people go at anytime. But I know and trust the people that belong to this site can follow these rules because they are special and caring. We all have something in common. And we come together to share in each others pain to help. So, if people believe in god or not, or another religion (which seems to be the hot topic), we should be able to come together with all of our differences, which really are not that different. We should channel that energy in helping each other, which is why we sought out this group in the first place, instead of attacking each other. This just brings on the symptoms of which we all need to avoid. I don't know most of you. I don't know you or how you live your daily lives, but bringing judgement upon others, is unhealthy.

Don't you agree?

I know you have a difficult job Amy, but it has to be done. I'm just surprised I haven't been the one who has ended up with my foot in my mouth. But, you did a great job. I thought you needed some support.

You are to be commended, and I know that we probably take you for granted so often because everything on this forum appears to go so smoothly, which, I now see is the result of your hard work and determination. You have to do the work of a diplomat in the peacekeeping process as well as be a good editor and judge of content! Wow...

Cadburry, I'd like to thank you for sharing that beautiful Dalai Lama quote, which I think exactly captures the spirit of this forum and what it is intended to be.

As a general rule of thumb, before I post anything I try not to do it impulsively or in anger, but to think first and apply the Golden Rule - would I mind if someone posted what I am about to post directed to or about me? and Is this comment likely to offend anyone or hurt their feelings? I've made a few mistakes in judgment, but knowing how important this group has become to me, I hate to hurt anyone's feelings or step on anyone's toes.

I believe that it is usually possible to be honest and to present one's points of view and personal opinions or observations in a positive, respectful manner without accusing or attacking other people's opinions or personal beliefs, or berating, belittling, and bullying anyone by insisting that I am right, and if you don't want the "truth" then you are dumb or ignorant. Not only do people get angry and hurt by this type of comment, they usually won't want to consider that person's personal therapeutic solutions for fibro or anything else that person said. At least, that's how I feel when I am under attack or it is implied that I'm stupid, ignorant or "willfully ignoring the truth." If someone presents their personal solutions as "suggestions" or in the format of "here is what has worked for me and I am sharing this information in the hope that it might help someone else" then I am more apt to be receptive to this information -- only AFTER doing some research myself AND checking with my doctors or telling them what I am going to try in the way of supplements, alternative therapies, etc. I think that we ALL want the latest and best and most effective remedies for this awful fibro, but we need to proceed with caution when trying anything new.

Religion and politics are two subjects I try to stay away from with my own family and friends, because arguments get started and feelings easily hurt, and perhaps relationships become strained or damaged permanently.

As far as people selling things on this site, I believe that if they are selling products as part of a personal business for profit, then it is a conflict of interest to in any way promote these products on this site, as that is not the purpose of this forum. If you sell a product for profit that you think might benefit a particular member who has expressed interest, then I believe it would be okay to PM that person with the information.

The ribbons, bracelets, and car magnets were group projects to raise awareness for fibromyalgia and no one on this site is selling them for profit, that is the difference, and why I believe it is okay to sell these items here if members are interested. Some of the people who are making them not only are not profiting, but some are GIVING them away as a gift to members who want them.

When I first joined this site a few months ago, the second day I was a member, the original founding member and group leader quit this group and has left for good. I found this very upsetting and sad, because it was apparently due to politics and resentments. At the time I thought, what a shame it would be if ANY member here feels compelled to quit because they have had their feelings hurt or become too angry and resentful or involved in feuds and arguments with other members. I hope that all who have quit this site, or think that they might leave, will reconsider and remember all of the GREAT things this site provides and all of the good people involved who have helped us so much -- most especially our tireless group leaders! It is often a thankless job, but they give of themselves 100% in order to keep this forum going!

sorry this is so long...I feel passionately about this site and I only want it to continue to be the wonderful source of information, support and hope that it has been for me...especially for the newcomers who are just getting to know us all! This might be their only lifeline and the first place where they've felt comfortable opening up and sharing their deepest darkest feelings. I feel that we who have been here for awhile should strive to set a good example for the newbies with our kind, respectful messages of hope for them and for each other so we don't scare them off!!

these are just my opinions...and I'm grateful that I have this safe, non-judgmental place to express them!

love to all,

Sherry

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 04/11/2008 00:19

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 04/11/2008 00:23

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 04/11/2008 00:31

When just walking away would solve the problem. No matter what was said. They are just words. Your beliefs are your beliefs and no one can change them. The fact that people have to defend them to the "death" is disturbing and gets people no where. It's just arguing just to argue. It's much harder to take the high road, than to give in to petty insults.

I understand people have opinions and they are strong - I have my own. But I do not have the energy, nor do I want to fight every person on the street for every comment, just because they want to argue...because that just what people want to do sometimes. I find more solice in staying quiet and knowing I have not been harmed by these comments, whatever they are.

Because in the end, people are going to believe what they are going to believe about you and you can't change that. So why fight? Unless you live for the fight? And I think that's the real question here. Some people just can't be called a name and walk away. They look for the fight and are excited for it.

I have a disease now where I have to walk away from it. I have to outsmart it. I have to "pretend" to have no stress. Like thats easy. And I think everyone can agree on that. Sure we get mad, but when we argue with each other, what does that accomplish? We only have us to turn to because no one else no anything about this disease. So turning against each other doesn't look good, plus, we really don't need anymore isolation.

I have been on other sites where there was so much fighting and caddiness I couldn't believe it. I couldn't say a word without it being picked apart. I was made fun of because I didn't have fibro for that long, I was also challenged because they thought I didn't have it at all. I was never so upset in my life. If people can work together, to support each other, disagree in an adult manner (because I think we are all different), but then let it go, I think things will work. If not, well, then lets just all quit. And everyone will be on their own. We can go backwords and then where will we be in the middle of the night when thay hard pain kicks in and no one else understands? Or when our spouses/partners don't understand and leave us and our family don't want to hear it anymore? I can go on?