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Rxxdoc Posts: 97
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I am a Pharmacist, and no I am not God's gift to medicine, but I think I know a bit about me and my meds. I have had these A$$ho!e doctors tell me that they believe that I am in pain, but no they won't give me narcotic pain pills. If I were a scum bag pharmacist, I could steal drugs from a job or I could just buy them off of the street, or there is the internet. I do make good money, so that would not be an issue. But no, honest, old, bald, decrepit pharmacist (me) tries and tries in vain to get some pain relief, but the doctors won’t listen to me. I have often thought of blasting my brains out right in front of my pain doc's face for revenge, but I have a wife and a 9 year old girl. I love them both more than my own life so I go on. I feel a total failure as a man because I can't do what is expected of me in that role. Sorry, maybe I am old fashioned. I should carry the garbage, move furniture, and do the grunt work, not my wife. 10 years ago, I could go hiking for 10 miles. My feet would bleed and yep, I hurt for a couple of days, but I could hike. God I miss the woods. It was just me and my dog.  Now, I walk around at work, come home exhausted, and have to hear my daughter cry because I can’t pick her up and I am too tired to play with her. Honest to God, I would rather be set on fire than hear her cry because I can’t play with her. I can’t help clean the house or keep my car clean. I like a clean car. I can’t hike, I can’t do anything for the last 5 years. I am no longer a man. I am some useless piece of $h!t who can’t even play with his daughter. I hate my life. Post edited by: Rxxdoc, at: 08/13/2009 03:31 PM Lastly I want to add my disclaimer. I may be a pharmacist, but I am not your pharmacist. You should really talk to your Doctor or Pharmacist about any medications questions. So I guess I will say that I provide this information for entertainment purposes only . Besides you can't sue me because my wife has all my money, and trust me, you won't be able to get a cent out of her.
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aTinaL  Posts: 11832
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Sweetness, yo are obviously having one crappy day, and I'm really sorry to hear it. Do you suppose your doctors have a thing against you because you ARE a pharmacist? Maybe a little professional jealousy? Because I've always found that pharmacists know much more about meds than doctors by a long shot! There must be a doctor somewhere that will prescribe narcotics for you. I know it gets tiresome, but please keep trying. As for the rest of it, you need to remember that you're not defined by fibro. It doesn't make you less of a person. Have you read "On Death and Dying?" Check it out on Google books. My doctor recommends it for his fibro patients and it's definitely worth the read. I wish I could do more for you to help you feel better, but have some hugs. Tina  Tina
"Calm down! Let's cook some carrots!"
- Jim, Hell's Kitchen
"All aboard the suboxone train!"
- Tina
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on tv!
-Tina |
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bits Posts: 10315
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You are not what your mind is telling you at this moment. You are a fine man, worthy to be among others. You are sick, you will experience depression, and many more negative things. Life is like that. In fact life is like that whether you are sick or the picture of health. You will continue on with this battle and you will find a doc that will listen to you. You will manage to get your illness under control, which will give you a good quality of life. You may not be able to hike for miles and you may not be able to ever lift your child but you will be able to walk farther without exhaustion and hold your child on your lap and hold her little hand while walking. You will have more energy, thus, be able to keep your car and clean and help with housework. You will open your eyes (one morning) and feel like getting out of bed and WANTING to do "whatever." But YOU MUST find a doc that will treat you in the way you should be treated. Maybe, some diseases are incurable...so what...there are many meds to help one's life have a good quality. What needs to be treated? How about...depression, pain, exhaustion, maybe a few more? How do we treat these?...meds may be a good start. Who can help me?...a good, caring physician How do I find him?...keep looking, ask others,...he or she is out there Why should I do this?...it is worth it I hope you find someone who can truly give you a quality of life that is good. It is there dear. You are in my prayers. Many hugs When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~ Erma Bombeck
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hatbox121 Posts: 10501
Group Leader
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You are only asking for meds to function. That is reasonable. If your dr is not trying to help you have quality of life, he/she's not a good dr at all. Amy~ “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
Current dxes-Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Mitral Valve Prolapse w/regurg, 2 other heart valves with regurg, POTS, DDD, scoliosis, various OA, polyneuropathy of unknown origin, SI joint dysfunction/fusion/collapse, chronic rotar cuff tendonitis, impingement syndrome of the shoulder, chronic bursitis in various locations, degeneration of the sternum, vertigo, GERD, FM, CFS, CPS, various bone marrow lesions, brain lesions of unknown cause, migraines, TMJ, vertically bulging discs, Raynaud's, anemia, tinnitus, high copper levels, borderline glaucoma, colon polyps, intermittent RLS, Vit D deficiency, depression, Eye accomodation disorder, Essential tremor, recurrent kidney stones, sacral spine disorder, inflammed tendons, and inflammation of spinal nerves(no specific dx).
I'm am not a dr. I am not a substitute for a dr. All advice I give is based on research and my personal experiences. |
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naddya819 Posts: 4356
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Sorry for your bad day, Rx. We all have them. Your little daughter doesn't love you any less because you cannot pick her up or play with her to her satisfaction. Children aren't like that. Your wife, I can't speak for. But the love of a child is unconditional; children can even love those who harm them. I know that you feel bad right now, but I also know that maybe tomorrow you will be feeling ok and someone else will be feeling bad. That's what a support group is all about, and right now, we're all willing to hold you up! Love,
Naddya, CPhT(R)
Gabapentin 1,200mg/day
Tramadol 400mg/day
Tizanidine 4mg/bedtime
Amitriptyline 10mg/bedtime
Meloxicam 7.5mg/day
Fioricet as needed for migraine
~~Please remember that I am not a doctor. I am a pharmacy technician, however that doesn't mean I know it all! This site should never substitute medical advice from a qualified medical professional. Check with your doctor before adding any over the counter products or herbal supplements!~~
!!My friends, this, too, shall pass!! |
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Stella77 Posts: 700
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Gosh Rx, I'm so sorry. I have 3 grandbabies I can barely lift and then only occasionally. Have your daughter read to you or put on a play or play an instrument for you. Something you can interact with without having to move. I wish you could get some pain meds. Keep going to drs. until you find one who will give them to you, they are out there, they are just so nervous about getting into trouble. My first doc wouldn't give them to me because she said I might sell them on the street and she would get into trouble. W-h-a-t????? Stella stella
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. |
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hopefull1 Posts: 1965
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Some days are sucky, that's for sure. I can guarantee you that your daughter is going to remember that her dad loved her so much that he continued to get up and go to work every day no matter how crappy he felt to provide a good life for her. She won't remember that you couldn't hike or take out the garbage. My dad was gone due to his job most of my life so I don't have the memories that other's have. What I do know is that my dad loved me so much that he sacrificed everything for me. That's what makes you a man. Steffanie
Do you or someone you know have Von Willebrands Disease? Come join us at http://www.mdjunction.com/von-willebrand-disease
Please note that any advice given is not a substitute for getting a diagnosis from your doctor. |
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Mispati3 Posts: 1006
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Yep, you're having one sucky day. I'm sorry. As for no longer being a man, you're wrong. Hey, I can't have sex with my husband because it hurts so much, but I don't think of myself as less than a woman. I try to look at all the things I can do ~ not the things I can't do. Rx, what if you had been in an accident and you were paralysed? Would you be thinking these things? Maybe. I'm sure some people do. At first. Then they go on with what they still have. You have much to offer, both to your family and your community. You just have to turn your thinking around. You must! It's not your time to die so you have to figure out how to live! |
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alaska123 Posts: 43
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I'm so sorry you are feeling so down-you didn't choose to have a devastating disease. I'm not sure which state you live in, but I go to a wonderful doc who is part of a pain clinic and I know he could help you(IL). Remember that you are not alone and many of us have felt the same way at times-it will get better-your loved ones need and love you and we all support you! **** Sending positive vibes your way**** Sincerely, Suzy |
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bc1028 Posts: 3377
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I am so sorry that you are having such a bad day. I do know the feeling when you cannot do what you feel that you should do or feel bad when you cannot do something for the kids. I hope that your md will help you soon or you find one that will. Good luck. Maybe this weekend you could sit out in the sun shine and just put everything out of your mind. |
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