Ok, I talk a big game. I have been in bed for a week, and really most of the month. Ok, really for the last 4-5 years. I get out for a walk when I can, I do the laundry when I can, clean, etc...and the guity feelings come and go. But I do the best that I can. I look forward to gardening in the spring and summer because I love it. Find something you love and it will give you inspiration, something to look forward to...even if you are hurting like, well just hurting like we do. I got that advice from a book and it has worked and keeped me from being depressed. Esp. when I have had marriage and family problems myself. That's all I/we can do.

Take care and remember, you're not alone.

By the way, if you want a good laugh (I hope you don't get offended easily), there's a website called cafepress with funny fibrotees. Even if you can't buy one, they are so funny to read.

Good Luck

I think sometimes ther is comfort in saying out loud “this is where I am at right now. It is not where I will always be, there is a lot of unknown in front of me, and I do not know where I will be later”. Then I allow myself 5-20 minutes of sorrow – then ask if there is ANYTHING in the day in front of me that might make me feel a little better. Then I do it. In little pieces. Not grand projects, -- I do my nails INSTEAD of nail salon, because I can no longer sit in hard chair. BUT hey – I am saving money, right?

You are NOT the sum of your feelings, it is exactly what it is: “where” you are right now.

Sometimes I tell myself I can do anything one-day-at-a-time that would kill me if I had do it for a lifetime. Then I realize I will never NOT have pain and I will wrestle with this for the rest of my life. I think that sentence scares me, but I know it is true. Then I say NO, I am not going to worry about the rest of my life today. Then I get angry at this disease, then I do exactly what you did. I reach out and remind myself, I really don’t’ know what it’s going to be like or feel like BUT i do know there are things I can do, footwork I can try, tips I can follow and IN THAT MOMENT – my self esteem does not go into the toilet. I laugh – they say God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle BUT he must have a higher opinion of my coping skills than I do.

Give yourself time and give yourself credit. I won’t tell you it will be ok, (but it will be - ok may take on a differnt meaning) BUT I will tell you YOU are ok and your life is meaningful to your son, to you, to God and Faith -- for all you know someone’s first day here – who can’t believe that someone feels the same way!

AND I hope that if I tell you it has gotten better for me that you will know you are not excluded from the possibility. Other here find the right docs, the righ t does, the path to soem acceptance and the strenght to go on. You will too. I heard once that acceptance was not approval per se, rather the ability to see with clarity what we are looking at. I know it is frustrating when others don’t “get it”. Right now give yourself permission to be “ok” with not being ok, and know that you are “getting it”. I saw where summer says to be your own advocate in your life – You are already! You are here. And many people here have walked before me, some in front of me, some behind me and some right along side of me. I will bet on any given day – someone here will have been where I am in that moment. They will offer you and me encouragement and also freely listen and help. I think you can back on this. I read here for months before I posted. There are some extraordinary gifts in these pages. People, hugs, PM’s and by asking you will receive.

Here I see wonderful folks not only talking about the “Why” but most importantly about the “How”. So – today you are enough.

I liked what summer said – little goals, little steps, if you can stay in this moment and be kind to yourself. Give yourself credit for what you CAN do not what you can’t do. Time enough for the process we all go through and I don’t think anyone gets it right. We have days, and sometime days stretch into weeks, good periods, and bad. Many of us will tell you what is was like and where we are now. You will celebrate your small success, grieve changes in your life, grow more, be angry and be grateful – all in the same month. For me this was not a graceful process BUT Faithsms – here is the good news -- there is a process. YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS -- God bless and keep you and your little one clsoe TODAY!

We're here for you!! ~gentle hugs~