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FMS Community FMS Support Forums General & Support Feeling guilty
Feeling guilty
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05/14/2008 08:05
thomasann
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 Dragonfly,

It really saddens me that you had to send your children away to school, but it sure sounds like you did the right thing for them. I don't feel guilty about a man doing more than his share, because it's usually us gals that have to do it all. Work full time, take care of the kids, cook, clean, shop and keep everything paid. Day in and day out. But when it comes to our children, the guilt is a hard thing and you are correct, it always remains. Bless you for finding the strength to do what was best for your children and steer them in the right direction. And congrats on your sons graduation.
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05/14/2008 11:42
sindee4499
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 Dragonfly I applaud you for having the strength to do what was best for your children I would never have the money to sent my kids to boarding school my son is 15 and is doing the selfish teenage thing I guess but his father and I have joint custody so he only has to spent half his time with me and does get time in a "normal" enviroment when he is there, my daughter is only 8 and she tries to help but it kills me when she ask me to go walking with her (which I do on rare ocassions when I can) or throw ball or just to come outside or sit at the dinner table (which I don't do because the chairs kill my back and I am miserable) I always dreamed of being a mother and felt I would be a good one have plenty of love in my heart but that is just one more dream fibro took away from me. I just pray my kids don't grow up to resent me because I was sick and unable to be the mother I should be.
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05/14/2008 11:45
thomasann
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 sindee,

I think all your kids need is for you to love them and it sounds like you do. I am sure they will understand more as they get older and they will know they are loved by their MOm. That is what's most important. Stay strong.
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05/14/2008 11:47
Mydragonfly
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 thank you. I dont have the money. They get everything paid for. Even clothing.

dragonfly

The Dragonfly brings the light and color of transformation into your life.
To learn more about Fibromyalgia
www.fmaware.org ***
www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia *** www.niams.nih.gov/hi/topics/fibromyalgia/fffibro.htm ***
www.painfoundation.org *** www.rheumatology.org/public/factsheets/fibromya_new.asp ***
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05/14/2008 12:04
sindee4499
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 That is awesome how is that possible?
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05/14/2008 12:05
Mydragonfly
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 Was not easy. took over a year of paper work and knowing the right people.

dragonfly

The Dragonfly brings the light and color of transformation into your life.
To learn more about Fibromyalgia
www.fmaware.org ***
www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia *** www.niams.nih.gov/hi/topics/fibromyalgia/fffibro.htm ***
www.painfoundation.org *** www.rheumatology.org/public/factsheets/fibromya_new.asp ***
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05/15/2008 10:50
JanfromTN
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 We have to do what is right by our children no matter how much it hurts. As mothers we feel guilty because sometimes that means sending them somewhere else to be taken care of. My sister has mental and emotional problems and her and her 15 year old can't get along and sometimes she goes to stay at someone else's home to give them space because she can't handle him and doesn't want to have to send him somewhere. But when her husband seen what she goes throgh on a daily basis with him he told their son he has 3 months to shape up or find another home. They have tried everything with him and nothing changes his behavior and he turns 16 the end of this month and they just can't handle him anymore. They are not being mean but he is very mean to my sister. She feels guilty because of all this but there is no other choice. The only other choice is for her to move out and leave the guys together which her husband says she is not doing because they are married and are going to stay that way

Dragonfly": I know it had to take great courage to do what you did. I am sorry that you didn't get to care for them, but it sounds like you found a great place for them to get an education and be taken care of. Congrats on your son's graduation and I hope he makes it to be a doctor or whatever, he may be the one to find the cure or cause of this dreaded fibro.
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05/15/2008 11:03
Mydragonfly
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 thank you for all the kind words and understanding. I still cry and feel like a bad mother when I am not there to see them go on the first date or leave for the prom.

My family all thinks I did the right thing. It took a lot of soul searching and blessings from God that put them in a place where they are able to flurish.

dragonfly

The Dragonfly brings the light and color of transformation into your life.
To learn more about Fibromyalgia
www.fmaware.org ***
www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia *** www.niams.nih.gov/hi/topics/fibromyalgia/fffibro.htm ***
www.painfoundation.org *** www.rheumatology.org/public/factsheets/fibromya_new.asp ***
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05/15/2008 12:32
faieriemama
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 Mydragonfly, you showed alot of ove for those kids working so hard to give them an education and somewhere to just be kids. They will appreciate what you did and love you more for it, I know I sent my oldest son away to a special school for a year and he loved it and me for working so hard so he could go. Hang in there you are a specaial lady and your kids now it.
May the sun bring you new energies by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night ,
May the rain wash away any worries you may have,
And the breeze blow new strength into your being,
And then,all the days of your life,
May you walk gently through the world,and know it’s beauty and yours.
A Native American Blessing
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05/15/2008 12:46
Mydragonfly
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 wow,

I never expected everyone to react like they have. Thank you all so much.

I can tell everyone that this weekend is going to be so hard for me. My only daughter is turning 16 and I am going to miss her birthday. She is not at the school with my boys. she is with my mother and my grandmother. She moved there around the same time to boys went to the school. She was put there I belive by God. She gave extera life to my grandfather before he died. The doctors said she gave him fight in his spirit and he lived a year longer then anyone expected. I will not bring her back here right now because of how great she is doing in school.

Just thinking about her birthday on Saturday makes me cry. I can hardly see the computer threw the tears.

Thank you again to everyone here for all your kind, loving & understanding words.

Dragonfly

The Dragonfly brings the light and color of transformation into your life.
To learn more about Fibromyalgia
www.fmaware.org ***
www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia *** www.niams.nih.gov/hi/topics/fibromyalgia/fffibro.htm ***
www.painfoundation.org *** www.rheumatology.org/public/factsheets/fibromya_new.asp ***
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