Home
Home | MarketPlace | Register

Group Menu
Why wear a ribbon?
"my grandma has alzheimers" (blondie1331)
Wear the purple ribbon
Menu
It's Free
We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
Fibromyalgia Online Support Group Welcome to the
Fibromyalgia Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Fibromyalgia, together.
    Join This Group    
    Ask a Question    
      Tell a Friend      
 
FMS Community FMS Support Forums General & Support Feeling guilty
 

Feeling guilty


Related Discussions:

<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next > End >>
05/13/2008 08:12
sindee4499
Lavender Ribbon
Posts: 84
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 MYDRAGONFLY you are very fortunate to have such caring and understanding kids I battle with mine daily they don't want to do anything around the house let alone for me...I sometimes feel like it is my fault they are that way they are just kids and for most of there life they have had to come home to a sick mother, a dirty house etc. I am sure they have to get tired of me saying I don't feel good and I think sometimes they feel it is a excuse to get them to help like I am lazy and just don't want to do it now ATARA my husband does the same think he will come in and try to help as much as possible but oh the guilt because I know he is working 10 hrs a day at a job he hates so we can have insurance so I have the guilt of that then he comes in and does what he can to help me and bless his heart he is the one that I end up snapping on when I am having a bad day I have been so B*@#%Y with him and said things I have regreted and wished I could take back and he just takes it I am lucky to have him but am just waiting for him to leave cause I wouldn't put up with what he does for 2 sec. and I know he has to love me or he wouldn't but how long will his love last before he also realizes he deserves better
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 08:34
wolflover
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 89
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 a problem i have in my area is that when i do have a good day and walk around walmart and do things with my daughter while i can and people see that, then when i do have a horrible day wehre i can hardly walk or do anything but i need something from teh store and i use the scooter they aer like well you walked the other time you can walk now kind of attitude. for over 10 yrs i have been told i had arthritis and to just bite my lip and bear it, which i have done. so i think i can do alot more bye ignoring the minor aches and pains but if i do push myself to much i will pay for it by feeling miserable for a few days afterwards. i know lately i have been pushing myself on my house, we had company this past week, will have company this weekend and next week and having a case worker at our house 4 days a week is trying. i know its not perfect but i try to at least keep it picked up. sorry for the rambling. i lost what i was trying to say if this make any sense let me know. lol
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 11:52
Tuffy
Posts: 233
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Problem can be though Thomasann that its very hard for me NOT to feel so guilty when your DH comes home from a stressful day at work, and maybe notices that nothing as really been "done" around the house! I'm sure you all can hear their "Heavy Sye" they let out when they look around at the messy house! The kitchen may not be clean, the dishes still piled up, the laundry pile hasn't gone down, the house is full of dust and needs a good DEEP cleaning. And who will get it done!!! It gets to be a heavy weight on MY mind, not being able to do it all like I used to. The entire load is on HIM to get things done!! And THEN trying to fight your own daily 'depression' battles. I can't help, but feel guilty. Its alot to put on one persons shoulders.

Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 12:03
thomasann
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 365
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I know it's hard, Tuffy. But we can only do what we can. I still manage to get it clean, just not spotless like it used to be! I used to clean the bathrooms everyday ! No more of that and no more mopping on a daily basis either. Just when it gets so bad I can't stand it anymore.Vacuuming is lucky if I get it done once a week now instead of daily. But then again, I have only myself to pick up after. The dog left with my son and all I have is the cat and he isn't too messy. I just get as much as I can done on my good days. The rest I have learned how to camouflage it. Don't ever look in my drawers, hall closets or other little storage spots I have. Stay strong, tuffy, as I know you can. And find your sense of humor again!!!!! Come on. I know you can do it!
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 12:07
Tuffy
Posts: 233
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Sindee4499 & Others ~ I am dealing with the same "exact things" you are, and the feelings about your DH. My kids are grown and long gone, so it is just him and I. And the WHOLE load falls on his shoulders. Go to work, pay the bills, go grocery shopping, cook breakfast for us both before he leaves for work,dinner nightly, take care of our animals, do the laundry, vacuuming, yadda yadda yadda!! We've been married for almost 20 yrs. I think he is getting BURNED OUT over having to do almost everything, his weekends are lost to trying to catch up on ALL the chores that need to be done. Take care of the yard. I truly believe they get tired themselves hearing how we feel and not being able to help us. DH doesn't seem to 'care' as much as he used to !!??? Or that part can all be in my racing mind...I don't know anymore! All we can do is give ourselves a good daily pep talk, saying it will be ok, yet still worry about them leaving us! When I've been depressed, I have told him to go find someone else to love...one that is healthy and can do SO much more for him...yet he stays...thank you Lord! We have all day to sit here and run things over in our minds...it CAN be easy to get on a 'Guilt Trip'.
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 12:12
thomasann
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 365
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 My dear Tuffy.......He wouldn't stay if he didn't want to be there. Maybe he is more used to things being the way they are than you think. Don't let that racing mind of your run away with you. Try to calm down and relax. I know it's hard. I am here if you need me.
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 12:38
JanfromTN
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 219
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I also told my dh he can leave anytime he gets ready, that he didn't sign on for all this when we married 8 years ago and he tells me he doesn't want to leave, that he is happy where he is. He also tells me I didn't sign on for this either, that it just happened to both of us. We both knew I had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis before we married but not the fibro. so he doesn't want to leave and I don't want him to leave so we are still together for better or worse. So we are together for the summer days "Summer good days and summer not".


Popular posts by JanfromTN
    HAIR LOSS
    Ever Play High / Low?
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 12:45
sindee4499
Lavender Ribbon
Posts: 84
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Tuffy have you been to my house that is exactly what I am dealing with today dishes laundry ect. I had evry entions of getting it done but have sat here and talked myself out of it now I am telling myself I will do it after I pick daughter up from school and then take her to softball and maybe just maybe I will........Pray
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 20:36
PDW
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 223
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Foxyroxy,

I know exactly how you feel. My husband had back surgery this morning, I've had a awful kidney infection, its kinda funny both of us in pain trying to help the other. We looked like tweedle dee and tweedle dumb. And I will hurt worse but that's okay. Because I love him and he loves me. We have to live life to the best of our abilities and enjoy our time here. The best way I found to deal is to read a book the best part of this is I forget what I read so when I finish one book go to another until I've read them all then just start all over again. It saves money on buying new books.

Trisha


Popular posts by PDW
    New here
    Soooo Angry
    SSD
Post Reply   Quote


05/13/2008 21:12
Mydragonfly
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 989
Senior Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 sindee4499, I am blessed with wonderful children. What somepeople dont know is that for the good of my children,they no longer live with me.

They were spening way to much time in the ER with me. So now, they go to a great boarding school. they come home for Christmas and part of the summer.

That was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. They were upset in the begining, but understood.

When I talk to them on the phone and I am feeling like the horable mother for sending them away. They tell me that I did the right thing. I put them in a good school that does amazing things with them that I never could have done.

Now we are getting ready to go to my oldest sons graduation from high school. He is going to collage to work in the medical field. I think he saw how much trouble I had that now he wants to help others.

Yes I am a proud mother, but I also feel guilty and no matter what anyone says, the guilt will never go away.

dragonfly

The Dragonfly brings the light and color of transformation into your life.
To learn more about Fibromyalgia
www.fmaware.org ***
www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia *** www.niams.nih.gov/hi/topics/fibromyalgia/fffibro.htm ***
www.painfoundation.org *** www.rheumatology.org/public/factsheets/fibromya_new.asp ***
Post Reply   Quote


<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next > End >>

Start a New Discussion

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. Read More.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | Add a Doctor | For Doctors | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Spread the Word | Advertise
Copyright (c) 2008 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved