I was able to talk to my friend face to face tonight. I explained my side of the situation and shared my heart with her without making any excuses for anything I may have done wrong. I let her know how much I need her as my friend and that to lose her would be detrimental to me. (She's like a little sister to me) Long story short, we are both feeling resolved over the situation and are looking forward to getting our families together for dinner this weekend.

On another note, I think my body is going to burst in pain soon. After I spoke with my friend, another person approached me with some hurt that I had caused her (inadvertently). I felt blindsided Needless to say I didn't want to hear what she had to say and I knew that was wrong. So, I listed to her side and asked her to consider any input she would like to provide for our next meeting and how the group could try to meet the needs of everyone, including the children.

So, by now my head is splitting, shoulder & back are stabbing me & my legs feel week. That is, not to mention that it also feels like someone is stabbing something in my neck straight up toward the eyeballs. So one conflict resolved, many more to go.......

Here is my VICTORY though...I asked my hubby if he thought it was ok for me to get a massage & he said a resounding "yes you should"!

So I am gonna call tomorrow and book my appt with my sugar daddy masseuse!!!

Thanks everyone for all of your support. I feel more normal now that I understand I am experiencing emotions from med changes and emotions from relationship probles and emotions from hating the fibro and how my body immediately reacts when I don't want it to.

I think we need to go easy on ourselves when we "screw up" with friends

and in other relationships, especially when under stress from med changes

or when we are in a bad flare. For myself, it is sometimes best to go into "hibernation" as much as possible and just take care of myself until I am feeling better enough to deal with the world. Just taking care of myself and my kids takes up all of my energy some days!

Luckily I am not in the public position you are in Coolmomma, with so many people making demands on my time and having certain expectations of me. That is a good thing for me because right now I have a "dry socket" from having a tooth pulled last week, and I'm in terrible pain and awful mood. I want to KILL that dentist!

I'm glad you are going for that massage! Enjoy! And I will pray for better days ahead for you...

take it easy!

-sherry