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FMS Community FMS Support Forums General & Support No one believes you? Feel like a burden?
No one believes you? Feel like a burden?
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03/27/2008 21:00
kdnbaybe
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 Okay, so I am new here by like 5 minutes...lol. I am just wondering does anyone else on here feel like your loved ones just don't care like you think they should? Here's the thing...I know that I alone live in this private hell but you'd think someone who claims to love and care about you would be fawning to hear about your doctors appointment or that new medication and if it's working or not. Maybe "how'd therapy go?" or "are you having a bad day?" might be nice from time to time. Is this a rare occurrence maybe just for me, or do your loved ones seem frustrated with your constant talk of this thing we call pain? I am just kinda getting tired of living in a house full of people but feeling alone always...

-Katie Straight, 24, MD USA

~Living with~

*Fibromyalgia

*Psoriatic Arthritis

*Lupus

*Bursitis

*Costochondritis

*Sciatica

*Scoliosis

Post edited by: kdnbaybe, at: 03/27/2008 23:07
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03/27/2008 21:23
ALCSS2008
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 Maybe they don't know what to say anymore. I know my father has seem withdrawn from me since I have become sick, but I think it is because he is broken hearted that I am sick and that he cannot do anything for me. Other times, people are just so caught in their own lives that it is hard to have the extra time to devote to someone that is ill. That is what is so good about this forum. This group of people genuinely care about one another and know what it is like to feel the way you are feeling. Keep posting and get to know some of us. We are a good bunch, I like to think.

Sandi

ccc

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03/27/2008 21:36
jgamble409
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 I think they care but do not know what to do to fix it. Men believe that they must fix everything if they can't fix it then they don't know what to do. Kids just don't think about what everyone else is going through because most live in their own world of friends,

school and what's happening this weekend. We are always there, it's like my aunt use to tell me we are like refrigerators as long as we are working no one pays attention but the minute we stop everyone is wondering what to do. She was one smart lady. Parents always are parents they do not want anything to go wrong in their kids lives and if it does specially something trumatic the seem to shut done because again they can't fix it. We understand what everyone is going through because it's something we are experiencing don't think they don't care just use us as your sounding board and know someone is always waiting to hear from you. Jean
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03/27/2008 22:09
Matafleur
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 I was just thinking that myself tonight when someone told me I should just go out and get a job. It's frustrating and hurtful. I feel for ya.

Hey! Welcome to the group!
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03/27/2008 22:09
soopergirl3737
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 Hello Hon and welcome to our family! I know exactly what you mean. I always feel like a burden on my friends and family despite the fact that they say that i'm not. I always feel guilty because I feel like I am holding everybody back, and I just make their lives more difficult. Its hard to feel like that all of the time so I do my best to remember that if I was in their place I would be frustrated that there was nothing I could do but I wouldn't consider them a burden.

I think that Jean and Sandi are right. They just dont know how to cope anymore and they dont know what to do to help you. I dont think that anyone even realizes the extent of our illness until they have experienced it so they really cant comprehend the pain that we go through. I know that I would never want them to go through this so I am okay with them being ignorant and not as supportive as I would like them to be than make them go through this and actually be capable of understanding. I dont know if that really makes sense but I think it does!?!

Anyway, I am so glad you found this site, because we understand and we care! I look forward to seeing you in the forums and getting to know you. Remember that you are loved and that you are in my prayers. I hope things get better for you soon. Feel free to pm me any time.

Much love and hugs,

soopergirl

a day without laughter is a day wasted.
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03/27/2008 22:30
kdnbaybe
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 Thank everyone so much for responding! This site has become a blessing in 30 minutes of having it...lol. As I was sitting here reading your responses I couldn't help but shed a tear, I have now come to the realization that this is my life. So funny how spontaneously throughout the day I will have a freak out episode cause I just can't believe the huge bag of pills on my coffee table(that don't help)are what my life boils down to. I feel like this is it, this is my life and so young, but with your caring I feel I will be able to make light of this very dark and hopeless situation. My fiance tries to understand but we have almost broke up many times because "your conditions" thats what I hear all the time. So it's pretty awesome to have someone to vent to now that actually understands my pain and frustration. I think that the pain sucks but it's the frustration that will drive you insane. I really like that quote too about the refrigerator, I am gonna print that out real big and put it on...the refrigerator...lol...maybe that will send a not so subtle message Thanks again everyone, this is great!
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03/28/2008 05:08
coolmamma
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 Somtimes it is necessary to vent to someone else than the person who is closest to us. That is what we are all here for. There is no judgement here & we all know what you are going thru without you having to explain it. You will quickly develop many friendships here, people you can count on to ask you how appts went, how meds are helping etc. Just remember that even the most supportive people in our lives get tired & frustrated too. They just want to see us back as the vibrant people we once were.

So, welcome to the group. I'm glad you found us and are using our shoulders to lean on. There may come a day when we lean on yours. Hope you had a restful night.
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03/28/2008 05:26
Nanaof4
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 Hi and welcome

I like the post that said; men fix things, if they can't fix it they don't know what to do. IT's sooo true!

People who have never suffered with Fibro just simply have no idea so it's very hard for them to understand.

Try not to take it personally when they seem like they don't care....I know that's hard to do but, it's usually not that they don't care, but rather that they don't know what to say or do.

(((((HUGS))))))


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03/28/2008 05:33
mamanordy
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 Welcome katie! I know what you mean. It is disheartening when our loved ones dont even ask anymore about the drs appt or therapy session. Or if you feel any better today, etc. Sadly I have gotten used to living in this kind of world and I know they love me but just dont know what to say to me cause the answers are always the same, no I dont feel better, etc. When I start talking about the drs appts I see them zoning out so I just cut it short, say everything went fine.

Hang in there, honey. We are here for you
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03/29/2008 15:46
PDW
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 I realize your having a hard time and I'm sorry. My family doesn't bellieve the illness even exists. I've just learned to ignore them. I always get asked why don't you go back to work??? Your perfectly healthy!!

Anyway I'm here if you need to talk. PDW.


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