Just for laughs

One hot afternoon, Spencer who was about 10 and the nextdoor neighbor boy who was a few years older asked to go to the basement to get something. They weren't really down there very long when they came upstairs carrying this screeching kitten and Spencer was hysterical. Buddy the boy from next door made a hasty exit and I came running out of the bathtub (yes, I did occasionally try to get a bath) and they through this blanket into my arms and here was this cat with a fish hook in its mouth. I couldn't see how far it had swallowed it, so I started yelling" how did this happen?" and Spencer said "We were dragging it along the basement floor and he was chasing it!" and I replied "@##$$$%YOU MEAN YOU WERE FISHING FOR THE CAT?" Of course, you have to picture this, the house is full of kids, everyone is screaming, I am trying to call the vets, my husband has left work for home, but is not here yet and now for the part I have not told you yet----Claire has seizures and in the middle of all of this---Yep you guessed it....Claire has a grand mal seizure in the middle of the living room. Now, Spencer is screaming that he killed that cat and it upset Claire so much that he has killed his sister. My poor husband finally gets in the door and I say to him (mind you we have not been married very long and he has not seen Claire with her seizures) Do you want the cat that swallowed the fish hook or the child that has had a seizure but is now resting? Of course he took the controled situation. I start up the interstate with the cat, who does not understand that I am trying to save its life and clawes me all the way while trying to ride on the top of my head in the van. We get off the interstate and OH NO!!!!!! Road work....Well too bad, not today...I turn on my flashers and hold that terrified kitten out the van window and yell sick cat , sick cat. I finally get to the vets, run in, plot this kitten on the desk with a fishhock in its mouth.

Well, $140.00 later the cat is saved. The fish hook was stuck in the roof of its mouth. I picked it up 2 hours later and all was well....until the next story.

The were all laughing so hard and I was so embarassed.

When the day comes, I take a quick shower, get dressed and then begin prepping the kids. All is going well so far.

I load the kids in the car and am half way to the pharmacy when I realize that I've forgotten my purse. I turn around to retrieve it.

I try to quickly go in the house to get my purse and on my way out, I realize that the kids have removed themselves from the car and are playing in a puddle of muddy water. I SWEAR I was only gone for 3 minutes and they were both buckled in securely!

Said kids are soaking wet and filthy so I bring them in the house, get them cleaned off and changed and out the door we go again.

I'm halfway to the pharmacy when I realize that I've forgotten.....my purse AGAIN. I turn around to go fetch it and am gone 1 minute.

I return to a very smelly car. Youngest has pooped....and I mean pooped. I remove kid from car, realize we've had a diaper blow out and remove other kid realizing that a mere wipe down with baby wipes will not remedy this situation.

Ok fresh and clean toddler. 3rd outfit of the day. We're in the car on our way to run our errands again. I decide to forgo the pharmacy and the car payment and proceed directly to the milk purchase. I get half way to the store and realize........NO PURSE!

I return home in defeat. Put the kids down for a nap and curl up on the couch hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

My daughter, bless her heart, had me rolling last night.

Due to lack of personal space my daughter has learned women get their periods. My boyfriend has been having a terrible time with his sinuses and a little blood will come out when he blows his nose. Well he threw it in the toilette and forgot to flush it. My daughter doesn't pay attention to whats already in the toilette and she pees. The next thing I know my seven year old daughter is standing beside me with a serious look on her face and a tampon in her hand.She says, mom I hate to tell you this but I need this tampon. I was like what, why? She said because I'm on my period now come look. I saw what it was and could tell what it was and about fell down laughing. I asked my boyfriend just to be safe and he said that yeah it was his.

It was the best laugh I had in a long time.