I guess I should tell you a bit about why I'm crying. I'm still not working... I had two interviews in one week, and I was on top of the world!! I left both not feeling like ..."Geez, why did I say that" OR "why didn't I say that". I was so pleased, I can't even begin to tell you. (now I'm crying again) So the one job was exactly what I would like to do. It had the title of "shuttle driver" but it had so much to do with customer service, at a car dealership. Not too far to drive, pay okay, and not having to sit at a desk or a machine. It was something that I could be moving around...my PERFECT job!! I would even get a uniform, you know like the guys wear. I was told there are no yearly pay increases, someone would have to see your doing well and put you name in for a raise, so (of course) I would like to have my name on my uniforms. So I was told I had the job, on a Tuesday and Craig would get in touch with me in a week and a half. okay.... seemed odd, but maybe someone gave their two weeks notice.

So after this second interview, I got a call from a factory, that the pay started at $12.40 an hour!!! I told them I would be in the next day for a second interview.

So I called the car dealership back and talked to the HR lady. She told me I most definitely had the job!! "and I would make a wonderful addition to their family" !!!! I'm in heaven...all warm and fuzzy. I call the factory job back and tell them I had gotten another job...sorry.

So Friday came and it's 2:30 (ish) and I decide to call the HR lady. She tells me she had sent an email to Craig...he must be busy, she'll see what she can do. So I waited...at 4:00 I called again, and I realize I can get connected directly to him. Well he proceeds to tell me that "they" haven't decided yet, and if I have "any irons in the fire, I might want to consider that" WHAT!!! I was told I have this job, that no one else was interviewed!!! He hug up on me!! I try to call HR lady, no answer. The next day is my birthday...and the tiniest thing is making me cry. All kinds of things are going wrong, I lost the cell phone. I lost an earring that was made out of my fathers cuff links. We're so broke that my husband only had enough money to take me out to eat. (I have to tell you, I didn't want to go out to eat, I'd been crying for two days!!! And if I would have known that was my present... I wouldn't have gone! I would have used that money to, somehow, make my self feel special, if only for second...)

So now I have wasted almost two weeks, and don't have a job... I feel so hopeless, I feel embarrassed, helpless, and then all the fat and ugly thoughts come in... I just feel so lost...

I know this would make ANYONE upset, but I take every thing sooooo hard !!

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you feeling so bad, I hope that things start to look up for you. Unfortunately, I am one of those people that believe "events happen for a reason", hang in there, I just know things will turn around for you! Take care...Ali

Thanx for your encouragement.

Sandi

I was planing on call the factory later on today. I know the women will remember me, because I'd had a bit of a problem. The day before my interview, my car hit a skunk...with both tires! And I had asked her if we could make it the next day, because my car was so bad! I mean I felt as though I was tasting it. I think that make me pretty much unforgettable.

I have appt w a therapist in 2 weeks, hope I can hold out that long. I am on meds but i need some counseling for sure. PLUS, i have to go see SSDs pyschologist again, same guy.

Sometimes I think this is my fault!!! How can that be??? Pass the Kleenex... I know it's not my fault...but yet I don't!!! I'm wondering if others have felt that way?

I'm just feeling so hopeless, helpless...like I deserve this!!!! I have to keep reminding myself that I AM A NICE PERSON !!!!! Pass the Kleenex And I deserve to be happy !!!!!!!

Not long ago I was in a car accident. We were so upset because we had just bought the car from a friend and the car was totaled by someone not paying attention when driving. But if we would not have had the accident, we would not have know that something was wrong with my thyroid. I only had neck x-rays because of the accident and that showed the 12 noduals on my thyroid.

So I can totaly understand how you feel. I get the "why me" blues a lot. if you ever need to talk, I am around

dragonfly

I know it's harder than ever to look on the bright side when you're in the middle of a funk, but one thing I try is to list all of the blessings in my life (from my eyelids not hurting, to my loving husband).

By the way, are you on an antidepressant? I didn't think I needed one, until one doctor's visit I cried and cried right there in the office and she said, "Ya know I think it would be good to get you on a tricyclic antidepressant." Well, I went on Prozac, and it made a huge difference for me. I still feel sad, anxious, etc., but now it's not over spilling the milk and other minor things.

As far as your husband goes, just keep asking him to be there for you, even when it's hard. And reassure him that the happy you will find her way back.

Oh, one thing I tell my husband is that he's always invited to my "pity party", even if it won't be much fun for him.

Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.