My mom didn't even know what I am diagnosed with til last week and she I thought was a close friend. She talks at me and not to me. We talk at least once a day and how could she not know me? I love my mom dearly! I just wish she knew how I felt and how it hurts when she says some of the things she does. Everything is about when I can pay her back for this or that not about how I am as a person.

I didn't know if its a fibro myofac. thing or just me

Just venting....

Lana

Post edited by: lanajo, at: 03/03/2008 07:33

I make friends easily and they drift away just as easily too. It might have something to do with our disposable society, as a professor once told me, but I think people just grow in different directions at different rates of speed.

I figure when I've learned as much as I can from a friend and vice versa, life may lead us down two totally different roads...and I may not hear from them until some point in the future..and other times I never hear from them again..lol.

Is this normal human nature? Or is it due to our disposable society? Or one of the millions of other reasons? Ultimately, the reason makes no difference to me as long as my last memory of that friend is a happy one.

Bless you,

Ms. Jessie

I too am having big problems with my mom. Since my father died (9years ago) she has become totally dependant on me for all her contact with the outside world. She's basically shut in the house except for her weekly trip to the grocery store, which I have to hear about in excruciating detail every day. She refuses to do anything where she may have to meet people.

Last week she said something so mean and nasty to me that I can no longer can call her a friend, confidante or even "Mom".

I should'nt be complaining and I feel so guilty for what I'm thinking, I know how wrong it is to think this way, but she can go @#$% hefself.

I'ld really appreciate any advise or support you could give me. I've been tearing myself up over this.

psk

Love

Gloria

She doesn't understand how I feel or what I feel like everyday and how hard it is just to get up in the mornings let alone work all day too.

I am having best friend woes not mom woes. I just vented on that too cuz I am feeling sorry for myself (like usual)

Love ya all

Lana

I was invited to a girls only weekend (Us "girls" are all in our 40s). I have so few women friends and as I'm getting older, I've been feeling the need to connect with other women. I only know 2 of the other 5 going and I'm shy, so I tried to discuss my concern with my mom. She said to me "The only reason they're inviting you is to save money. It sounds to me like youre trying to buy friends." I said "how could you possibly say that?" and hung up. She called me back not to appologise but to say I'm too sensitive. I hung up again and threw the phone accross the room.

Yesterday she called to ask if I wanted to go out to dinner for my b-day and I told her I'ld buy some friends to take me.

I know what im feeling is wrong and I feel so guilty but unless I get a detailed and sincere appology, I dont want that negative influance in my life anymore. I am too sensitive, but I've always been like this and mothers are supposed to be loving and supportive, like I'va always been with her. She has no right to say that to me and with all my other problems, that's the last thing I need to hear. Sorry for sounding like such a

b#$%^. I so glad to be able to talk to someone that will actually listen. I really appreciate it.

psk

Love

Gloria

Lana, how much does your mom understand about the fibro and its effects? Sounds like she is in "mom mode" instead of "best friend mode" and trying to help you get the best life possible without realizing you ARE doing the best you can. Since she can't see the pain, it's hard to understand.

Psk, don't believe what your mom said about your friends inviting you along to save $$. That is sooo untrue. I believe that your friends invited you because they genuinely wanted you to come along and have fun with them. (I had something similar happen to me last year. I too am shy, but had a fabulous time! My friends even understood when I needed to rest a little due to the pain. - No pressure.)

In both of your cases, try to focus on what is true in the situation rather than the emotion. The truth is that your moms love you and want the very best for you.

Come here to vent any time! We love you and will not leave you!! With loving hugs....

Well psk.....damn her!! That was very cold and callous of her. We can pick our friends but we can't pick family....ain't it the truth. Yea, that was a real shit thing to say to you. Again....damn her! Has she always been this selfish or is it because she is hurting physically too. I know when I hurt, I just am not too nice. Do you have kids you could focus in on for a while & just let "mommy dearest" stew in her own juices for a while?? Let us know how things are going there from time to time. As for friends....we CAN pick them and never worry, this site has given me some good ones to talk to right at my fingertips and any time I want...

Love

Gloria

As far as friends go, I used to have a lot of them. I do not see any of them anymore, they all have active working lives,and I cannot keep up.

As far as my husband being my friend, well he is not too sympathetic to my ailments, and he gets sick of listening to me. We have been married 32 years and I have had a lot of diseases and he has stuck by me, that I will say. Even as a 24 year old man with a sick wife with breast cancer and a little boy. He just doesnt understand fibro and says he has his aches and pains also... blah blah

Sorry to be ranting. I also have severe depression and went through a really bad 4 days in a very very depressed mood. I feel a bit better today. Went to see our son, dil, grandson and my dad, and have dinner with them. That made me feel better.

Debbi