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Lagarto26
Posts: 18
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I am having a lot of problems with the fact i don't have any real friends. Now i appreciate the people here on the site, and you have all been really supportive. Its just hard sometimes to have no one to go out and have fun with. I just got finished with high school, but i had to leave early because of my illnesses, and i lost all my friends in the process. I just recently went to my sisters wedding. She lives in Boise and has for the past 7.5 years. She had a whole community of people who knew her and her husband, and they supported them as friends. It hurt to realize that in my own life, my sisters are not truly my friends, and the friends i did have no longer care. I have a total of 33 myspace friends that rarely talk to me, and i we never see each other in person. Granted some of them live in a land far away, but still i have a handful of people in the same town, some even walking distance from my house, that just don't have the time. So my problem now is that how do i make new friends, and not let my illness get in the way. In the past i have tried to make friends with my co-workers, but since i was so sick they had to pick up my slack from me not doing my job, not so good on new relationships. Its hard because i don't have a drivers license and no car and cant really go anywhere new to make friends. But then i try to get my license but have no friends to help me study or support me. I have my fiance, who is in the same situation that i am, only his only illness is being rude and defensive so no one can get close. So he is completely dependent on me and i on him. I know that if we both don't have any friends or alternative support with our problems, our relationship will eventually fail. More than anything i dont want that to happen. I am just kinda stuck with the fact that i dont have any friends and i dont know how to get them. Its not like they are waiting for me on isle six and at the local grocery store. Its just frusterating, cuz even if i do find a few choice ppl that i would like as friends i still dont know how to explain my illnesses to a point where they dont run off because i am too much of a whiner. PLZ HELP! T_T |
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Kaze
Posts: 348
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Lagarto, I just started this forum today, so I am probley not a good one to give any advise. But I don't work, and all of my friends do. So during the week it gets pretty lonely, but I am wondering if maybe you could try to do some volunteer work so you could meet people and help others that are in need. Or maybe find some kind of hobby that you could do with some other women....Maybe just one day a week even. I am glad you have someone to go through this with you..One person that loves you is better than no one at all. Hope it gets better. Kaze Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. |
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Hallveig
Posts: 77
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Dear Lagarto, Losing friends because of illness is horrible. I'm sorry you went through this. A lot of communities have fibromyalgia support groups, which may or may not help. (Ours is in a neighboring city, in an inconvenient location, and only meets in winter when I'm feeling too lousy to get there!) Hobbies and volunteer work are terrific ideas. I would also try church, the gym or Y. But any activity you regularly do outside the house is a chance to make friends. Keep your eyes open for opportunities. If you talk to the same clerk at the grocery store every week, there's a good chance you could become friends with her. You never know! You could even make friends with someone at the doctor's office. I hope you find a bunch of wonderful friends soon. xoxoxoxox Heather xoxoxoxox
Beloved Father God,
Help me befriend those who are lonely,
Help me comfort those who are hurting,
Help me do battle against the darkness,
And help me lead the way to You.
In Jesus' name, amen. |
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Cathy0402
Posts: 251
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hi i would love to be friends with you i too feel the same way and to me it would be so great to find a friend who had all of the same things i had and so we could talk about our health and know excatly how we both felt it a dream of mind to some day meet someone who can understand and know excztly what i feel i would love that but doing it over the internet i guess its the next best thing but i really would love to have a friendship in person to talk to take care of yourself cathryn |
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autumnskye63
Posts: 58
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Hi, i would love to be your friend.i may be a bit older but who says we can't have things in common.yes,i like Buffy too.i get on here when i can and since i can't use the diary on this site i use my blog on myspace.it does help when you can find the words,to get it out. Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly…….
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. |
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recovered26
Posts: 328
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I know that having friends on the Internet isn't the same as having friends in person, but I'd be more than happy to be your friend! I, too, miss having friends to do things with and so forth -- my illness has made me housebound for now. I would love to exchange e-mail, talk on IM, send snail mail to each other, whatever you like  Also, you might want to try volunteer work or church to find some new friends. I know it is so hard to tell new people that you hurt so much. I feel like so many people judge so much. I really hope you find some great friends! |
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KatesMomma
Posts: 40
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I know exactly what you mean! My problem is that I tend to make friends easily (only when I am faking feeling normal!) but they disappear as they realize that I can't "hang" with them. My suggestion for you may not be as much fun as having a group of friends your age to "hang out" with, but I really found the best friends I have been able to make were with people who were older than me and understood the limitations of my life. I found great friendships when I volunteered at the local assisted living facility. I would go there to play cards and board games, to talk about anything that came up, and to feel like I was actually doing some good. I guess I wasn't really up to "hanging out" with people my age anyway! I hope that helps, and you can always pm me! I would love to be your friend! |
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Lagarto26
Posts: 18
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Thanks guys its nice to know that all of you care, plz work full time and don't usually check this site but if you myspace me (www.myspace.com/lagarto26) or email me (dixiedog26@yahoo.com) i will be able to get back to quicker than a pm on this site. |
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booklady14
Posts: 614
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I make friends quickly also. And like you said once they get to know the real me - they suddenly become too busy to see me any more. It hurts. I had to finally quit my job, so now I'm housebound. Welcome to our site; and good luck ((((HUGS))) Kathy we all need "splashes" of JOY in the cesspools of life 3:16...........real joy  |
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Wolfpack
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I could really relate to not being able to make friends my age. My ONLY friends are in their late 60's and are the only ones able to understand serious health problems, having to stop and rest in the middle of the day or in the middle of nothing, etc., etc., etc. I have no friends. The last fake friend I made did the same thing. As soon as I couldn't "hang out" in the 90 degree humidity and heat because of my fibro, she got an attitude like "what's the matter with you." I'm sick! That's what's the matter with me, and if you don't respect it then you don't deserve my friendship!!!! Easier said than done and she really hurt me to tell the truth, but she's just one more on a pile of people who do the same thing. I met my late 60 year old friends in my doctor's office so that was a good idea, keep an eye out there. Having friends online isn't the same as having them in person. Hey, I only have 9 Myspace friends and NONE of them talk to me because at some point or other I've tried to discuss my illness with them, thinking maybe SOMEONE would understand. That's where we come in. Even though we're CyberBuddies, we do understand and just keep posting and writing all you need to. I know it may be a hassle, but I got used to checking this board every day. I put it in my favorite places so I could just pull it up and see if there was any new input that I wanted. Oh, and my husband IS my best friend. For going on 17 years, we have been each other's SOLE friends and it's worked!!! You don't have to think of losing your boyfriend because you have no friends, at least not in my opinion. Having your boyfriend as your best friend, or becoming your best friend may be really a nice thing. You mentioned he's rude, etc. They all go through that. Hang in there. If you stick with each other and don't take his cr*p TOO much, you guys will make it. Wolfpack *♥´¨) ¸.•♥ ´¸.•*♥´¨ ♥•*¨) (¸.•´ ; (¸ ;.♥•Wolfpack♥    COMMITMENT: "True commitment begins when we reach the point of not knowing how we can possibly go on, and decide to do it anyway." The gray ribbon is to honor my husband's fight with a brain tumor and his ongoing courage to keep his hope and faith so brilliant!UNDER OUR SKIN VIDEO TRAILER ABOUT LYME DISEASE
WARNING: May contain disturbing content to some www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxWgS0XLVqw |
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