I haven't been on that much this week because it has been horrible. I have had a huge flare and it has caused me to "withdraw." I had a few plans this week that I had to cancel, one of the plans involved someone who has always been near and dear to my heart. Well, instead of understanding, she flipped out. She came to my house, proceeded to yell at me, and tried to belittle me. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do.

She was in my face and I told her to calm down. I couldn't believe this was my best friend. I thought she understood. She was so mad that she went to leave and pushed me out of the way. I fell hard and hit my shoulder and head off of my dining room chair. I am so depressed and in so much pain. We have been friends since childhood and I don't think I could forgive her, What do you think?

Terri

I hope you understand what Im trying to say. I totally understand why you are hurt and angry. Yes it is justified. I am just telling you what unresolved anger does. So sorry this happened to you.

I don't know your friend, but if you have been "best" friends for all of these years I can only imagine that by now she is feeling badly about her behavior, especially since she physically hurt you in addition to the emotional pain and trauma she caused. There may come a time when she is willing to discuss this incident with you in a calm and rational manner, and if you feel like it at this point you can tell her why her actions hurt you, and how it made it you feel. If not,then you have to accept the situation as it is for the time being.

It's true that the "normals" will never understand why we have to alter or cancel plans at the last minute. I have a friend who has been extremely angry at me in the past because I wasn't up to doing something I had planned to do with her, so since then I never promise anything and always tell people that I will be there or do this if I am able to and not feeling sick or in pain...I have to reassure them that this is NOTHING to do with them and everything to do with taking care of my health. It may take awhile but eventually they do get the picture, and if they don't understand, then unfortunately the friendship cannot continue as it was.

I am sorry that you had such a bad week. I too sometimes withdraw in the midst of bad flares and need some time to "lick my wounds" in private and process my feelings first..and also I am often too tired and brain dead to even log on to the computer. I hope that there are better days ahead for you soon, and I'm sure that most of us have lost friends or had friendships altered because of the fibro. You are not alone...

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 02/14/2008 22:51

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 02/14/2008 22:53

I hope that you have a better day today. When you are feeling down, wrap your arms around yourself and know that we are all hugging you gently. We are here for you. Know that we are your friends and we will not hurt you that way.

Also it goes back to how much do our friends and family really understand....... what we are going through.... As I think we all have...we have been an ear for a friend, ....but did we really listen......

did we really hear what they were saying..... or were we really.....saying to ourselves.......ya ya ya.....buckup...... pull yourself up...... come on....cowboy up......... all the time they were talking.........

sometimes you have to ask questions of the person you are tryin to tell how you feel...... and again.....just maybe..... even though her actions were unexcusable... she may have had something really bad going on in her life at that moment......... I know this is a hard thing to say......

but try to forgive.....and ask her if she could talk about it.....she has been your best friend since childhood........ it is at least worth a moment of trying ........ to resolve.... it....

Craig

Terri