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04/13/2009 12:43 PM

HELP...I'm Getting Married

mslodie
mslodie  
Posts: 23
Member

Ok...so the best thing in the world has finally happened to me....at the ripe young age of 38, I am taking the long walk! God has finally allowed me to cross paths with the man he has had intended for me to spend this life with and we will be exchanging vows on May 16th, 2009. I am soooo excited but I'm a little scared and nervous about the reality of the day. Not about getting married...I've never been more certain of anything in my life as that. But rather just about the logistics of the day...I have to stand in front of 150 - 200 people for nearly 40 minutes then try to dance, which is one of my greatest joys in the world that was lost to me through fibro's nasty fatigue, while saving a little something yet still for my wedding night!!!! (And I've been saving everything for my wedding night now for 8 years so I have no idea what to expect from the big bad fibro monster now, if you know what I mean!) God grant me energy and a pain free day! Please pray for me! Anyone have any great no need for xanex, don't worry, everything will be fine advice???? LOL
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04/13/2009 12:52 PM
aTinaL
aTinaLPosts: 11832
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

mslodie! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you Smile That is just wonderful news.

I think it's time to try and start thinking about compromises and preparations so that you can do every thing you want to on your special day.

The first thing that comes to mind is, do you really have to stand for the whole ceremony? What would be wrong with you and your groom sitting before the minister in a couple of nice, comfy chairs? If they were on a platform, everyone is going to still be able to see you.

The big deal is seeing you walk down the aisle, and you can do that and show off your dress. I'm sure everyone would understand. Just make it part of the ceremony.

Maybe you could talk with your doctor and explain the situation to him and he could prescribe something extra that will get you through the day without making you loopy.

Maybe a good soak in a hot tub the night before?

Maybe make sure where ever you're spending your wedding night has a hot tub, too. Romantic AND theraputic!

Lastly, here's some possible good news. We have at least a few members who swear that lovemaking actually lowers their pain level.

I'm sure others will be along with lots of good advice!

I'm so happy for you! I hope we'll get to see pics of your big day!


04/13/2009 01:40 PM
rmm164
rmm164  
Posts: 2316
VIP Member

Congratulations!!! I like Tina's suggestion of sitting for the wedding, maybe a tall stool for you? And give yourself plenty of breaks. And for heaven's sakes don't do what I did.... I twisted my ankle and fell down in front of all my guests. It was horribly embarassing. But I laughed. I'm sure it will be fine and you'll make it through just great.

04/13/2009 01:43 PM
Janilee

Congrats mslodie. I'll tell you one thing, you will be too excited and happy to even notice you have fibro on that day. Just keep the adrenalin flowing and you will be just fine. Smile, laugh, hug, cry, do anything you want. Be sure that right as you are walking out the door of your house you turn at the threshold and say, I'm sorry fibro, I won't be needing you today so you can just stay at home.

Hugs and my you have a beautiful day for your wedding

Jan


04/13/2009 02:07 PM
aTinaL
aTinaLPosts: 11832
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Aw, Janilee! I think that's the best and most beautiful advice Smile

No wonder we love you so much!

You know, it just occurred to me, Clint and I were sitting down when we got married. I wanted a quirky wedding, so we had a drive through wedding in Vegas. Clint told me afterward that he was so happy because he didn't think his legs would have held him!

We got married in the limo with the preacher, and everyone else piled up around the doors and in the front seat!


04/13/2009 02:39 PM
bc1028
bc1028  
Posts: 3383
Senior Member

CONGRATULATIONS!!!Getting married is one of the days of your life that is your happiest and if you are like us, you really will not remember it. HAHA It was great but there was so much going on , I could not tell you a whole lot. I hope that you will not feel the fibro like Jan said, you will be so into the day that you may not remember that you have it. Talk to your future husband, let him know your worries. I know you want a perfect night but if somethings have to wait one more day, I am sure he will not mind, he would rather have you feeling well then in pain and not be able to enjoy the honeymoon. Like Tina said, there is nothing that says you have to stand. See if you can get some stools that way your dress can still be seen. GOod luck to you and please keep us posted on your progress. You don't have much time!!!!

04/13/2009 04:30 PM
oroman
oroman  
Posts: 1539
Senior Member

Hey I too got married in Vegas two years ago, and I had never been there before. What a great idea it was. We went to the Grand Canyons, saw a Cirque de Solei show and ate and ate and did the hot tub outside in Dec. That winter they had alot strange weather. But I got to do it all alone. We did not want any fuss. But if its your first wedding, making it spectacular and do it easy as you can so you can enjoy it!!!!

Olga


04/13/2009 04:46 PM
Casty
0hCasty  
Posts: 2917
VIP Member

Congrats!! I agree you can ask to be seated for most of the ceremony and stand for the vows and ring exchange and all that special stuff.

I also agree with Jan, it is amazing what you can do when your adrenalin is pumping. There is a great possibility you won't feel a thing! I love, love, love the hot tub idea in the honeymoon suite!

Weddings do not HAVE to follow a certain format. As long as all the legalities are there you can do it the best way it works for you. Nevermind what people say about "you shoulds" and "at my wedding we..." It is YOUR wedding, you say what you want/need to happen.

HUGS


04/14/2009 12:26 PM
mslodie
mslodie  
Posts: 23
Member

You guys are all so awesome! Thanks so much for all the good advice. I thought a lot about the stools and intended to do that in the beginning but I couldn't go through with it. It just didn't match up with the picture in my head, with the dreams I've had all my life and I don't want my fibro to ruin this day. I am keeping them on stand-by though just in case and I am making sure everyone in the wedding, involved with the wedding and even the florist knows that the motto for the day is flexibility!!!! There shall be no stress for the bride!!!! LOL hehehehhe I thought that might be a good start. I'm praying that's the way it'll work out. Thanks again everyone. Have a great day.

04/14/2009 12:29 PM
mslodie
mslodie  
Posts: 23
Member

Oh Janilee, I love your idea about "leaving the fibro at home"...I'm so going to do that! What a great idea! Thanks a bunch for that.
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