MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
03/19/2009 02:09 PM

feeling totally defeated

Cornbread
Cornbread  
Posts: 826
Member

I have been taking all my new meds just like I'm supposed to, and all I can do is sleep. I'm miserable. Honey keeps complaining about how we won't have any money this summer with me off for summer break, so he's wanting me to get a day care license. I could keep track of a couple older kids, but I can't do day care like most people do, and around here all the moms are stay at home moms, so I can't imagine any older kids needing real day care. They can stay at home alone. I just don't have it in me to tell him I can't do it. I feel guilty for not bringing in enough money to really do any good.

I'm just getting so depressed. I have to go tomorrow for trigger point injections and I'm terrified. My IBS is so bad I haven't 'gone' in 3 days. The pain is tolerable on the meds, but only because I sleep the whole time. I'm having such crazy dreams, I don't feel rested. I'm having trouble remembering things-- but more than fog...it's like I can't recall if something was real or a dream. It's weird.

I just feel like there's nothing that will help. If I can't work, then we're really in trouble. And I can't bring myself to tell Honey that I just can't do it any more. So I just keep doing it, all the while I'm miserable! It's a terrible circle. Days like today I just want to give up. I'm tired of getting worse.

Reply

03/19/2009 02:15 PM
amommy02
amommy02  
Posts: 1891
Senior Member

You have to tell him how you are feeling. If you can't do it, you can't do it. Plain and simple. I totally understand feeling defeated. I can't even see a little glimmer at the end of the tunnel myself right now. I know it's there, I just can't see it. Giving up is very tempting, but we aren't allowed.

03/19/2009 02:20 PM
Cornbread
Cornbread  
Posts: 826
Member

I can't tell him. I know it seems so silly, but I can't. He's so stressed out as it is. We have no money, no food, I can't even get to the food bank because I'm so bad. I'm off till Monday, but then I have to go back to work. I'm under contract till the end of the semester. If I can't work, we won't be able to make ends meet- not that they do now. He cannot take on another job- he's on call 24/7 as it is. I don't even have the energy to get down the stairs today. It's pathetic.

03/19/2009 02:29 PM
Kristy424
Kristy424  
Posts: 689
Member

Cornbread...maybe the shots tomorrow will help. If not, you could do like I'm going to do...try to talk to my doctor about medications that DON'T make me so tired. Although he did say you get used to it. Maybe they just started you out on too high a dose. Have you tried taking just half?

03/19/2009 02:30 PM
Cornbread
Cornbread  
Posts: 826
Member

I'm on the lowest doses to see how they start out helping. I'm hoping the shots will help, but who knows. Today I'm scared about tomorrow! UGH! I need some chocolate.

03/19/2009 02:34 PM
amommy02
amommy02  
Posts: 1891
Senior Member

If you don't tell him how you are feeling it is going to eat away at you. You don't necessarily have to tell him you can't do anything, just that you don't think you can manage what he has suggested. You can't spare him the stresses of life any more than he can for you. You just have to be there for each other. Reverse the situation for a minute and put yourself in his place. Would you want him to hide his true feelings and problems from you? No. No matter how stressed you were you would want him to come to you, wouldn't you?

We are a family of four surviving on less than $800 a month, so I really understand the financial struggle. When I quit work we didn't have any income at all and ended up on a state assistance check for a while. You would not believe the sense of relief I felt when I finally admitted that I just couldn't do it anymore, even with the fact that I had no idea how we were going to even buy toilet paper. I just trusted God and did what I had to do, and we never went without a single thing we needed. We may have had to give up a lot, but we always had the true necessities. You can find a way to make things work in any situation if you just believe and do your best.


03/19/2009 08:09 PM
bc1028
bc1028  
Posts: 3383
Senior Member

I agree,you need to let him at least know that it is getting very hard for you and you are going to have to try and think of something because you do not know how much longer you are going to be able to hold on.

Have you tried an extended release pill? You take these 1 or 2 times a day and they don't make you quite as tired.


03/19/2009 08:18 PM
TinaL
aTinaLPosts: 11832
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Cornbread, I'm so sorry to hear things are so bad. I guess one of the the things we never really talk about as a symptom of fm is how it affects our financial well being. I think maybe we should. This thing, in many ways, zaps our wallets as much as hour health and energy.

I do agree with the other girls. You need to start broaching the subject with him. Two heads are better than one, you know.

If you include him in a dialog then maybe the two of you can figure out something else.

In the meantime, by all means, have some chocolate!


03/19/2009 08:32 PM
lisanaylor2007
lisanaylor2007  
Posts: 423
Member
I'm an Advocate

Cornbread, I have been in your shoes. I had to tell my honey that I am getting worse and not better. My daughter was living with me at the time. He was financialy taking care of me and her. That was really hard on my. It was not his responsibility but he took it. My fibro got so bad that my daughter had to move back with her dad. because she was adding more stress then I could deal with. I talk to her two plus times a day. and I will always be there for her. I know and agree with the others. You have to do what you have to do. Sometimes we all have to swallow our pride. There is assistance out there. You may have to look into that. And apply for social security. But keep your chin up. I know that is hard to do in times like these. But you have to talk to your honey. I know this for a fact. Gentle Hugs
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved