hanginon1
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Okay, I just got back from my doctor. I went in early to see him because a week ago I quit cymbalta cold turkey. I had a horific adverse reaction to it, even though I'd been taking it almost a year. In hindsight it began a few months ago. Anyway, I mean horific....consistent, constant very loud buzzing in my BRAIN. I am not kidding. I don't mean ringing in my ears. This felt like a was literally plugged into an elecric socket. For over two weeks straight. I could hardly hear people talking to me, the TV, I couldn't concentrate at work. And then my body. It felt like it was plugged in somewhere too. This was all on top of my normal fibro and CMP pain. I got so depressed. I felt desperate, hopeless, without any joy. So, this was the absolute worst anything has ever been for me. Okay, so I go see my doctor. Oh my gosh, I was so frustrated! He hardly listened to what I was trying to convey. And then when I insisted, he says, "okay, let me write this down just how you are saying... You had buzzing, whooshing, zaps in the head. Almost mockingly! and then when I told him how I felt desperate, hopeless, thoughts of "what if I was dead"....which I have never had before. But that's just how horrible I felt.... But anyway, then he asked me if I've ever seen a psychiatrist. If I would be open to seeing a psychiatrist. I told him it was the cymbalta, because the symptoms have all subsided. And the depression lifted almost immediately. Side note: he help "create" cymbalta, at least that's what he told me when he prescibed it. Anyway, he wouldn't concede that it was the cymbalta. I think that he wrote that I am refusing the cymbalta..... I hope I have't started rambling. He also made a remark about me refusing to take lyrica because I don't want to gain weight. I said I don't want to take it because I'm afraid of the swelling, especially in the neck where I have a two level metal plate... things are tight enough there. And I said I also don't want to take a medication for seizures. Then he practically "raised his voice, I can't say yell" but he said, The FDA approved it!! But you know your body... It's a good thing I was laying on my stomach at the time, because I was fuming. Another side note: cymbalta gave me some relief the first few months, I think, it's hard to tell, since I also had surgery during that time frame. So I'm not saying cymbalta is bad, I know it helps alot of people and so does lyrica. But he is right, because I do know my body. We all do. I did get some shots in my back for the CMP. Those usually give me a month or so of much less pain in that area. And I'm going to go to a pain management class, that they gave me the info for, so that's something good that came out of the visit. Oh, I also had to bring up myself that maybe I should have me liver check (blood work). It's been 1 1/2 years.. Oh, yeah, you're right... duh. So now I'm going to try a low dose of Elavil to help sleep. I asked for an exta Soma a day ( I get 3 now) because I get more relief for the CMP. But he wouldn't. Instead he offers another vicodin? (I get 2 now). I said no. On my last visit I got a lecture about opieds (sp) ?? That made me mad. What's wrong with relief? Oh, and then he made a remark about how he'd been with me for 35 minutes.... Oh, I'm sorry...I'm taking up too much of your time. Only because I was insisting. I'm tired of only gettings answers to a fraction of my questions. And I think he doesn't really care for all the reading I'm doing about CMP and FM. So now I know I need to start the search for a new doctor. I am going to find someone who will listen to me, and if I can't come up with a good word to describe the whooshing going through my head.... they will not discount that the whooshing exists. Hey thanks for listening everyone. I live alone, except for the occasionally seeing of my college age son in passing. He lives with me, but has a young man's life. And I talk with my other children, especially my daughter, almost daily, but I'm tired of our conversations always being about my health. But she did just call to see how my visit went. I ranted... I'm just so frustrated right now and angry. I'm so happy I found all of you, as you have validated me, as I am now. I'm not alone. I am not nuts. You make me stronger. Wow, I feel better  Venting is great. Now I can let this day go. I know you all have similar days and experiences. So I know you understand. Hope everyone has a restful night. Vicki |
"When I first came to MDJ, I was in a very dark place, and feeling quite alone, I don't know how I found this site, but I have been very grateful ever since, all of you have offered insight to the illness of Bipolar and the other things going on with me, being here has allowed me to find friends, and to feel safe in discussing things that I would never have shared before.
I could always try that too. I'm also thinking I might get some good info from this program or class, I'm going to attend. It's called Fibromyalgia Self-Management Program. A holistic approach. I've never done anything like this before. It's an eight week program that addresses both the physical and emotional effects of fibro. I can especially use the help with the emotional effects. I was thinking of couseling but this might do it. I just can seem to accept that this is my fate..... 
