Fibromyalgia Support Group

I'm finally back now that we are settling into our rental condo. We finally sold our home....didn't want to but had to....but love where we are renting. My hubby, Mike, got a nice job after 18 months of unemployment. I'm working a high stress, too much on me physically, job working as a companion to my hubby's difficult elderly aunt. I would give anything to quit, buy I need to make up for the lower paycheck that Mike is getting. My fibro flareup is worsening with each month, and it started a couple of weeks after I started my job in early February. The longest anyone had lasted working for her prior to me was 2 months. She is emoionally abusive, manipulative, and doesn't have a sincere, nice bone in her body. My pain is so severe throughout my entire body, my fibrofog is horrendous (she's always telling me off for being so stupid....can't get her to understand because she can't care less about being understanding), my costocondritis is making it so difficult to take in a decent deeper breath (which is adding to my asthma difficulties), I haven't had a restoritive nights sleep in months, and I am having a difficult time holding it together emotionally. I think the Lyrica that I started a month ago (which doesn't seem to help me at all) is making me more emotiona. I don't know.....can't think straight enough to figure anything out. HELP!!!! Any suggestions on how to cope with working. I've been looking for another job....but there doesn't seem to be a thing out there that I can physically or mentally handle. Nobody is hiring....and my hubby says that I have to work, which I understand I have to so we can pay our bills each month. The agony is so severe I can't take it and all that I take for pain is Neurontin, Soma (neither until I come home from work because I have to drive), Lyrica (which is not helping yet...75 mg), and either Tylenol, Ibuprophen, or Aleve (which don't do much either). I've missed you all so much & have really needed your TLC. We were living with our son and daughter-in-law for 6 months and had no room for hooking up our computer. They used their computer for their businesses.....Mike used their's anytime it was available to try to find a job. Now we finally are back on our own in a 55 and older condo community where we are renting a nice, small condo that we are very happy with. Now, I just need lots of help with surviving with my severe fibro problems while trying to cope with working this terrible job. Please, anyone have any advice for me. I am at the point of desperation and tired of crying every day over all the physical, mental and emotional pain. Thanks in advance. I hope that you are all doing well. Love, Donna

Welcome back ~~~

My goodness, Donna, you certainly have a lot on your plate right now . I m so sorry !!! I wish there were some way I could help you or even have a good suggestion but I don t at the moment.

I had an aunt living with us for almost 5 years with dementia but thankfully, even when it turned to Alzheimers', she wasn t mean or violent . Just,eventually, I couldn t take care of her and work full-time also but I wouldn t trade those years for anything.

Does this aunt have children (grown, of course) of her own living close by that could possibly help you ?

Is there any kind of at-home work in your area ?

I will pray heartily that you don t stress yourself into a Fibro flare or worse and then have to come back from that. That could take months that you wouldn t be able to work.

Prayers for finding a solution to your problem as well as better health in the future ~~~

Please feel free to PM me anytime you feel the need to vent, chat or just hang out as time permits ~~~ I have a good listening ear !!!

{{{HUGS}}} Marilyn

Prayers

Thank you. Unfortunately, I'm already in a major flare that just won't, or can't go away....I guess because of working. Even my doc told me a couple of months ago to stop working, but she doesn't have to pay our bills. This aunt does not have dementia....she's been this way all of her life. She's this way despite taking meds for behavioral problems. Her son and grandson live downstairs from her, but work during the day and try to avoid her as much as they can manage nights and weekends. I don't blame them. She is who she is. My parents live in Florida....Mom has alzheimers....but they won't let me help them. I think that my Dad is just trying to protect me. She is still living at home. I do a lot of praying, but I keep hoping to find ways to help myself. I keep coming up empty. Thanks for your TLC. Gentle hugs,

Donna

Hi, if you HAVE to work for the bitchy old bat, pretend she's just some nut who makes NO sense at all. Nod your head a lot, smile vaguely. Remember, if she calls you "lazy" or "stupid" or whatever, it's really just "blah blah blah," on account of she's a crazy old bat. Also, the less upset you get, the more SHE will drive herself nuts. Or you could make a game of it--ten "stupids" equals one Dairy Queen ice cream! Ten "lazys" equals one cookie! In other words, don't wish she would "understand" you--she's a bitch. You can't change her, but you can change the way you react to her. Nod and smile. Nod and smile. And then eat a cookie.

lol oh ushie I love you,lol nod and smile I have to agree you cant change people but boy you can have fun at their exspence,lol

ah the fustration of work and pain..one question you said you were on neurotine and lyrica? Plaes check with your pharmacist if you are they are both in the same family of med and I would be affraid the combo might give you bad reactions..I have no idea just a thought and worried..I have been wondering about you..prayers, and read the serenity prayer over your boss,lord help me remember what I cant change and give me the strength to except it(something like that) throw holy water (sprite if its closier) and wear a big cross..if nothing else you can laugh silently to yourself as you smile and nod and wonder if she will catch fire with the holy water..lol

If you're used to the Neurontin, you don't have to worry about it making you drowsy to drive. I used to take 9 a day of the things and still drive a tractor-trailer. Down to 4-6 a day nowdays, and have no problem with driving. So that may help if you're able to take it daytime as well as nightime.

I'm with Ushie on the batty old bitch. Knowing me, I'd either do something like Ushie says, make it a game... or I'd tell the old biddy off and then smile while she sits there and sputters. At least you know the old bitch is so bitter that no one wants to be around her, whereas you have a home and loving family to go home to. Who pays you for taking care of her? Does she? Does her son/grandson? If it's the old biddy, tell her that for every foul word, name, or curse word she uses aimed at you, You're going to charge her an extra Dollar. And during teh first day, everytime she says it, count. "That's one." "That's $10" and so on, and at the end of the day, tell her, "you now owe me an additional $25 for putting up with your foul mouth and ill temper. I'd like that in cash please, right now." And tell her if she don't like it, find someone else to take care of her sorry, old, wrinkled ass. If it's her son/grandson that pays you, tell him/them you want a raise for dealing with the verbal abuse. No one should have to take that kind of crap.

Another suggestion would be to get an MP3 player and load you some audio books or music on it. Put in the earplugs and go about your day, oblivious to the woman's neverending tirade.

In the meantime, find something you LOVE to do and do it when you get home or on your days off to unwind. It's the stress making you flare so badly. Tell your doctor you HAVE to have something, even if it's just Tramadol, to fight the pain, something stronger than over the counter NSAIDS which are for inflammation, which fibro ISN'T. Those don't do a thing for Fibro pain. You need some help.

Thank you all so very much!!!! You are all so very right and I am going to handle her that way, or at least work on it, from now on. It feels so good to be back!!

Gentle hugs,

Donna