Thanks

Craig

Post edited by: Fletch2ya, at: 02/11/2008 20:30

ONE that spouses will use and not have any problems with others....

One that rhey can speak freely on.... and ask the questions that are needed to help them understand....

I definitely experience pain with sex. It isnt unbearable or anything, but it can be extremely uncomfortable. This is something Im glad to have found out is related to FM since the doctors think I have something else as well and are still testing for other things, so any symptoms I can idetify are good.

I would have to say that many of Craig's remarks don't apply to me, although Im sure theyre plenty accurate for many people. I have always had a very, very high sex drive; higher, in fact, than my husbands - at least, before I got FM. My husband has anxiety disorders and that use to pose an issue to our sex life - he couldn't have sex unless he felt emotionally safe and secure, whereas I was a fan of having sex in just about any emotion! (sorry to be so blunt, but my job is actually to talk about sex, so its very natural to me!)

So anyway, we've always had a bit of the stereotypical role-reversal when it comes to sex, at least until I started to develop FM symptoms. My drive itself has lessened somewhat - not really due to the pain itself, but rather just how incredibly tired I am. So actually, we're on a more matching cycle of when we do and when we dont want sex than we ever have been before.

But its still hard sometimes. He particularly likes positions that end up hurting more (cause, duh, its when he's deeper). He's extremely responsive and respectful when I tell him something hurts, but I still feel badly about not being able to give him what he wants.

For me, sex if pretty representative about how I feel about the entire FM situation. I used to be very outgoing, very social, very active and he was the opposite. So we've evened out in a lot of ways. But, especially since we just got married before I was diagnosed, I also feel guilty - like he got stuck with something he didnt know was going to happen. And he's such a trooper and so supportive but I still feel like I've failed him somehow, even though I can't control it. Which is how I feel about our sex life and its limitations. Even though he's perfectly okay with it, I still feel inadequate.

P.S. One position we've found that works *really* well for both of us is if he's sitting up - like on the couch - and I straddle him that way rather than from the top - it's MUCH more confortable for me and he loves it