TeainTN
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My husband ask me once what he could do to help me not be too tired when we go to bed so after a long talk he started helping me cook dinner or supper (depends on where you live) and clean up after dinner. He helps put the kids to bed and does as much as he can to help me out and sometimes I would take a long bath while he put the kids to bed and I cold just chill out. We would plan on having sex that night and he was glad to do a little extra to help me have more energy. Once he understood "HOW" he could help me it became easier for us to plan time togheher. I hope this makes since ,I'm in so much pain this morning thinking is difficlut, but this topic is so very important i wanted to share one thing that helped my husband and me. I agree with everyone that said talking to the most important.I didn't tell my husband how much I was hurting for years and he did get angry with me and the fibro, he didn't understand how hard it was for me to do the simpliest things. now he doesn't get angry at me but he will say things like " this illness is not fair, It makes me angry that the fibro keeps you from doing the things you want to do." he lets me know the illness effects him too and that his anger is at the fibro NOT me. The guys need to be able to talk about how much our having fibro effects them and we need to try to understand their point of view. We both have talk and listen to our partners. In the past any time he said anything negitive about the fibro I took it as an insult to me. I had to stop thinking of myself as the fibro, it is not me, it is seperate from me. There is a light at the end of the tunnel -- but it's a train about to run over you.  |
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