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FMS Community FMS Support Forums General & Support Sex Life With Fibromyalgia II
Sex Life With Fibromyalgia II
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02/09/2008 07:01
Fletch2ya
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 teach123...thank you ... Gradulations.... CRAIG
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02/09/2008 15:55
specialk
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 [b]WELL UNLIKE MOST OF YOU GUYS SEX IS NOT PAINFUL FOR ME. MY HUSBAND THINKS BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS IN PAIN HE'S AFRAID TO HAVE SEX LIKE HE WANT. IT NOT THE PAINFUL PART THAT BOTHER ME IT JUST THAT THE REST OF MY BODY HURTS SO MUCH I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED.SINCE HE ONLY COMES HOME ON THE WEEKEND I TRY TO GO AT LEAST EVERY WEEKEND OR EVERY OTHER WEEKEND.I AGREE WITH YOU CRAIG, THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF PLEASING YOU MATE AND KEEPING IT CLEAN.
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02/09/2008 18:36
kychick
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 In part of the realisation of me having caused alot of the problems in our marriage,sex has been a major factor.He also was a fix it guy,and realised after 2 years he couldn't fix me. He was angry all the time,and hid behind the pain and beer,and we quit talking,quit sleeping together,quit sex everything.I hid myself behind the pain and felt so sorry for me I coulcn't see what it was doing to him. No wonder it fell apart. We both see where we went wrong,and that's why we are doing the counseling. But in the meantime,we have been dating,and having sleepovers. It has been great and like falling in love all over again. Sometimes you have to get away from something to realise how much you miss something,ya know? I don't recommend this to anyone,if I had it to do all over again I would have started the counseling thing while we were together. We are in no hurry to rush into anything until all our issues are resolved,but what I have learned is talk to your spouse,make date nights,schedule sex in. I missed the close contact of him more than the actual act itself,and we have learned to do different things because we are both very open to all possibilities. Any good relationship is hard work,but it's worth it.I want my happy ever after,not just together because we are supposed to be or for money or the kids.
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02/10/2008 05:28
TeainTN
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 Kychick your story sound like mine. I had to leave my husband for a week before he decided to go to counseling. I hated to leave but he now thanks me for it. I wouldn't recommend this either but it worked for us. He doesnt' try to fix me anymore, at least not the way he used too.

I wish someone would have told me 13 years ago how much work a marriage takes. it is worth it but at least I would have had a heads up about it.

I have noticed I very sore after we have sex, Like I've had a work out so something. finding a comfortable postiion and learning how you can make it less tiring for you is important. there is a book I have that shows stick figures in the postiions that seems to work best for fibros.

Post edited by: TeainTN, at: 02/10/2008 07:31

There is a light at the end of the tunnel -- but it's a train about to run over you.
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02/10/2008 18:32
kay1208
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 Please forgive me, but by the time I got to the bottom of the page I forgot who said this (LOL). Anyway, whoever the lady was who was brave and kind enough to share the frank comment about the cramping and pain after intercourse...THANK YOU!!!! I don't remember exactly what kind of pain each time causes, but intercourse ALWAYS causes pain for me and frequently causes feminine itching and painful infections. No, I don't have any STD's either. No kidding on the Pavlovian response comment - who wants to do something that ALWAYS ends in pain. But my husband and I limp along through it and God bless ALL the couples who continue to trudge through this in spite of the hardships.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK EVERYBODY - GOD BLESS.

KAY1208


Popular posts by kay1208
    sex life with fibromyalgia
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02/10/2008 20:21
spruce1
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 Welcome Kay1208!!

Don't worry about forgetting what you read and who said what!!! We all have that problem, it's called fibrofog ! We even find after we write a post all our words are spelled wrong and we just have to laugh cause if we tried to edit all our posts we'd never get anything posted!!!

Hope you keep comng back and get to know all! Well, get to know all and remember few...just kidding but somedays it sure feels like that!

Spruce
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02/10/2008 23:21
ruby0131
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 So off topic but does anyone feel like their spouce is mad at their(our) bodsy and so therfore accts/gets andgry at us?? Just having a bad weekend and trying to save marraige...Ruby and Thanks
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02/11/2008 02:54
Snoopy30
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 absolutely. And not off topic at all because most of the time when I feel that anger coming from my hubby it seems to be related to sex. I think because that is the most frustrating part fo them. I think somewhere way back in the begininng of the first part of this thread I said something about this is the one area that our fibro/symptoms directly affect our spouses. In other areas of our lives they really don't feel or see what we go through because they are not experiencing any of it. But when it comes to sex they are directly involved and if we are not feeling good or if we are not really into it they can physically and emotionally be affected. I hope this makes sense. Craig said earlier on that no man wants to cause his partner pain during sex and I think even if we don't outright tell our partner's we are in pain they can sense it because we are not responding the way we used to. so the act can be just as unsatisfing and disappointing for them. It is important to discuss these feelings and find solutions for both partners. Of course now that I have put this all in writing I realize what an idiot I have been in not really addressing these feelings with my hubby. i think tonight I need to ave a chat with him.
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02/11/2008 04:16
ilovepetey1
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 Isn't it amazing how the counselers can make us see why we got together in the first place. I loved that, She brought back that feeling I had put away in my mind and it was awesome to remember it.

leslie
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02/11/2008 05:19
spruce1
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 Sex? What's that?? LOL

Seriously though, this shows how bad we need to keep the communication open with our spouses. We're so exhausted and in pain we don't even think in those lines anymore and perhaps as Snoopy said, talking with our loved ones is very important cause this can make them angry, like we don't care and it can result in anger towards us!

Spruce
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