Sex Life With Fibromyalgia II

My husband and I will be married five years this coming July. Painful intercourse is something we've dealt with from the beginnning. One month after we married I had to have surgery to remove my gall bladder . That didn't help with relieve the pain associated with intercourse, but I sure felt better .

The next surgery came fifteen months after we married. I was required to have a hysterectomy due to fibroid tumors and suspected endometriosis . After healing from the hysterectomy we achieved new levels in our intimacy. It was wonderful

However, over the past year the same symptoms (pain, discomfort, cramping) have begun again. The doc seems to think I may have scar tissue which is causing a problem. Also, part of the problem could be nerve damage which is a result of the surgery. There also appears to be some issues with my bladder.

Didn't mean to be so long winded there , but felt a little background history may be beneficial!

Through it all my husband has been wonderfully supportive. He tells me that he loves me, the person that I am inside, the way that I think, the person that I am outside. He tells me that he thinks I'm sexy (I can't believe I'm telling ya'll this!!!!) and that he finds me desirable.

I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful husband. I just had to brag on him a little bit

Him being as wonderful as he is doesn't always make intimate moments any less painful/uncomfortable. Him being as wonderful as he is DOES make it easier for me to focus on him and try to satisfy his needs, even if I'm not really in the mood myself.

It has been hard and it has taken a LOT of work from him AND from me....but we have been able to reach a level of intimacy that truly works for us.

For me I lost my sex drive because of a complete hysterectomy. I just expected hot flashes but it was sooooo much more. However, if your in pain all the time how can you feel good about it? Psyk meds can do it to. Fortunately, or unfortunately, whichever way you look at it, my hubby is on many psyk meds and his drive is very low to. So I don't feel the pressure many of you guys do. Talking to your loved one is real important. Make sure they understand it's not them. If they love you I would think they would try to work with you on it, right? When I was first hit with this fibro I was just getting over the operation and met my husband. I never realized how much worse my sex drive could get until I became ill with this. So, I think it has to do a lot with meds, pain and misery!!!

Just remember, your not alone. We're here for each other!! When you need to vent, vent, when you want to talk about your experiences talk cause in the end it helps all of us!!

Spruce

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (well, maybe ). I could never had invision myself being so ill for so long. It's a up and down experience...weeeeeee what fun we're having !!

Spruce

I thought I was alone in the lack of sex drive because I never heard anyone mention it. I noticed mine has lessened more and more the past few years as the pain worsens even with the meds I am on and sometimes wonder if they contribute to the lessened drive. It's hard to deal with since I am in a fairly new relationship (we've been together about 4 years now) and I often wonder how things could have changed so much so fast. I think actually I should use a different term because there is still desire for him but the memory of the pain overrides it. I'm sure I'm not alone in this feeling towards spouses/partners.

Even though he tries to be very patient, I can sense it's getting harder for him to deal with as time goes on. It's even hard just to cuddle lots of times because my muscles are so tender, "burn" with any pressure applied, and become painful with extended touch. If anyone has tips, please let me know. It's been hard for me to discuss this but much easier than imagining being without my boyfriend. I should also state that I haven't managed to read this entire section yet so I may have tips left to find.

http://www.amazon.com/Fibromyalgia-Pain-Neck-back-shoulders/ dp/061514084X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207016447&sr=1-1

Ok, I have since gotten this book. Waste of money. Title is misleading. Doesn't even really address the topic very well. Oh well.

Post edited by: Red2, at: 04/27/2008 21:13