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HI......OK...... now here is from a guys point of view..... You all are talking about the pain of intercourse...right.... Well there are more than one way to skin a cat. If you understand my meaning.... I know for me....I can go just so long with out some type of release...... And I will tell you it knaws at you, and gets worse....I know woman have a sex drive...but it is not the same as a guys.... we are talking two different animals here..... And don't say well do it yourself.....because that just does not work.... There is something about the chemistry between a woman and a man that makes it all seem to work..... But there other ways.... time it so its at your best time of day...... when you do have a good day, make it a really good day..... No guy in his right mind wants to hurt his woman during sex...... That is a time of complete enjoyment for both..... It is for most guys a time of pride that he made his woman feel good.... I know all about the pain of fibro..not from a womans side of things...but it know the pain in general.... so this is a family thing that you have to work hard at working out.... You can not just say to bad for him, well you can...but don't be surprised if.. Please don't get me wrong here.... but there are ways to work this out.... But I think you have to sit down and talk it out..... really talk it out...understand that your language and his are not the same...... your meaning of love and his are not the same.. your meaning of sex and his are not the same...your meaning of trust is not the same... What I am trying to say here is... try to understand his language and have him understand your.... but sex in a relationship is important.... But his drive.... is much different than your...for a guy you can fix anything with sex....have a cold have sex, have a broken leg have sex.... hurt....have sex...... Craig
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Any one out there no anything about increasing drive? I also had full histercectomy including cervix, sex is enjoyable, painful, but enjoyable, but how do I want to get there when all I want to do is sleep and take my skin off? Wow, I've never been this blunt before
Forgive me if this is all too mich info, my hubby is just sad
Just kidding. It is a very serious matter. My husband and I have been married for almost 31 years and have always had a very active sex live. I can't believe I'm writing about this
. We were very active until......and everyone else in fibro world knows what until it. We talked alot, talked alot, and then talked some more. We just opened ourselves to discussion and agreed to express our truest feelings. And Craig is right. Men and women are different. I expressed my needs and wants and "not wants because of pain", and then he expressed his. We began trying new things, learning how to read each others body language better. Really paying attention to each other. And there are many nights when we call "snuggle" where the moment is for him. I love him enough to do this, and if you really put your mind to it, you can actually begin to enjoy those moments. They aren't quite the same as the wild sex nights
, but working together we've have made them into very passionate nights. And as Craig says, men are always ready. My husband knows that if I feel like I might be in "the moment" he comes running
!! Maybe it helps that we've been married a long time, I don't know. Our daughter would die if she knew I was writing this - but when the moments does strike, it sometimes turns into 2-3 times in one day. And then I'm probably good for another freeze or two.
Hope this makes since. I'm not used to writing about my intimate life. Be willing to try new things. I'll have to get really bold before I tell some of the things we have tried. And I have a fibro friend that has a happy face magnet on the metal part of her medicine cabinet. When the happy face is turned up into a smile, her husband knows tonight is the night!! Blush, Blush.....
