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bkands63 Posts: 15
New Member
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I need some advice. I have a very dear friend that I met over 20 yrs ago when we met working in a NICU. We have been through a lot through each others lives. She is a nurse and has been for almost 30yrs so I know she knows her stuff even if she is a NIICU nurse and doesn't deal with adults. She has been supportive when I had to have major low back surgery in '98 and since. Then in '08 I was diagnosed with fibro and she did as much research as I did. Which has always been appreciated but over the past 3 yrs or so she has started to go overboard. She comes up with all the info that says get of drugs, they are poisoning me not helping. I have to change everything about what I eat no matter the cost, and of course I have to exercise, no matter what. Disregard the pain, or how much sleep I did or didn't get, or if I'm on the edge of a crisis. Then if I don't at least seriously consider her advice or info from articles, she takes offense to it. Yet that's not as bad as if we are talking or texting and I'm explaining what I'm experiencing, she will blame it on meds or her other gripes. Of course I'm dealing with major depression and I'm in a very dark place and I'm turning into a hermit. With everything I'm dealing with, you would think she would be calling all the time. Instead the phone calls have decreased. Does anyone have any suggestions on a way I can try and talk to her that won't push her away any further? Thanks
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FibroCFS Posts: 1444
Senior Member
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Have you ever seen the information on Fibromyalgia Symptoms. One is an expanded list. The other is a PDF that doctors use to diagnose the INDIVIDUAL and the severity of the symptoms and classes of these symptoms. Expanded List: http://abarnabas.tripod.com/indexfibrosymptoms.html Diagnostic Tool - Use 2010 Criteria http://www.fibroknowledge.com/site/diagnose.htm Although the meds can cause us issues and it is with great trial and error we can find our mix that helps us without too many side effects from the drugs outweighing the benefits, Fibro itself is drowning us in symptoms and you don't have to be on any drugs to have them and you can be eating incredibly well and still have them. I know, I have been through all of this for 15 years. Tramadol 50mg AM Noon 6PM Fibromyalgia/Pain
Fludrocort .1mg AM & 6PM Hypotension
Zolpidem 5mg 6PM & 8PM RLS/Sleep
Gabapentin 300mg 6PM RLS/Sleep/Fibro
Gabapentin 100mg Upon 1st and 2nd Awakening at night RLS/Sleep/Fibro
Simvastatin 20mg 6PM Cholesterol
Tizanidine 4mg Upon 1st Awakening at night and 2mg AM and PM Fibro/Sleep
FemHrt (Hormones) PM Severe Hot Flashes
Voltaran Gel as needed on hands and rib cage.
Ibuprofen or Naproxen as needed for hands, arms, feet, legs, knees, rib cage, back.
D3 1,000IU & K2 90mcg - Sublingual
D3 Gel Caps 2,000IU AM 4,000IU PM
Calcium Citrate 2,000 2x day w/food
Manganese 10mg PM And Upon 1st, 2nd, 3rd Awakening At Night
Magnesium Taurate 400mg PM 1 Upon 1st Awakening at Night
Malic Acid 800mg AM/PM
Vitamin C 1,000mg 2x day
B1 Capsule 100mg AM/PM
Liquid Vitamin B Complex - Sublingual AM
Includes: B2 17mg, B3 20mg, B5 30mg, B6 2mg,
B12 1,000mcg, Folic Acid 40mcg
Benfotiamine 300mg PM
Chromium Picolinate AM
Bromelain and Broad Spectrum Enzymes before meals.
Cranbery Extract Capsule w/C 400mg
Omgega Fish Oil Capsule 1,000mg
I am not a doctor nor do I work in the medical field. My opinions and suggestions are just that, just what I think and have to offer that I hope is helpful to you. Always rely on your doctor when making medical decisions. |
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mabri Posts: 4710
Group Leader
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bkands, First of all, welcome to the group. We are so glad that you found us. We are a very tight knit group, and we all have a genuine love and caring for all our members. You can come here to ask questions, rant, rave, cry, laugh, or whatever. We all understand, cuz we are all blessed with this fabulous thing called fibro. Welcome to the fibro family!! As far as your friend...We all go through this. Everyone has an opinion, and has read this/that to cure us. I myself have had people tell me everything from stopping consumption of aspertame to it being caused from the fluoide in the water. The problem is that everyone is really trying to help, and think that they are doing exactly that, when really all they are doing is pissing us off! (sorry) My suggestion to you, would be to stop talking to her about this subject. It seems like that is what is causing the turmoil. If she brings it up, change the subject. This way, you can still be friends, but the tension from her trying to "heal" you will be excluded. Let her know that you are being monitored by a dr/drs and that you are working on this with their suggestions. I hope this helps HUGS Please do not take anything I say as medical advice. I am not a doctor.
**Becky** |
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MoiraWolf Posts: 3410
Senior Member
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Welcome to the group! I second everything Mabri said... from the coming here and being in the family, to how to get along with your friend. Maybe just change the subject with a gentle "You know, I'll discuss it with my doctor, in the meantime, how about those Longhorns (or whatever)" You can be gentle and firm at the same time. I am not a medical doctor and any medical opinion I give is based on personal experience and/or research. It is not intended to suppliment or replace your doctor. Follow at your own risk.
Gabapentin 600mg, tid
Tramadol 50mg, bid
Enalapril 10mg
Metoprolol ER 50mg
Citalopram 40mg
Levothyroid 125mcg
Cyclobenzaprine 10mg
Hydroxyzine 25mg
Carbidopa/Levadopa 25/100mg
Fish Oil Omega 3 - 1400mg
multi-vitamin pack
Vitamin C 500mg
Vitamin D3 50,000units, once a week
Dx: Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, obstructive sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, degnerative joint disease, hypertension, diabetes type II, irritable bowel syndrome, plantar fasciitis, reactive airway disease, chronic allergies, hashimoto's disease, TMJ, morbid obesity, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, seasonal affective disorder
www.etsy.com/shop/moirawolf |
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mem6526
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bkands63,  |
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faieriemama Posts: 3345
VIP Member
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You might try doing with her what i do with my best friend who is the sweetest person and really loves me like a sis. She also happens to be a bit of a hypochondriac and very much wrapped up in herself and her life. Unless she can be telling me how to help one or the other of my illnesses, then she's full of advice... take this herb, drink this herbal tea, don't take that med, this med will only make you sicker. I just tell her, "Thanks sis that's good advice I'll check it out with my doc on my next visit." Sometimes she takes it real good and other times she snaps a little but then I just ask her about something in her life... and it's all about her from then on. Just try to find a gentle way to accept her advice and still get on with your life as you need to. Oh yeah, welcome to the group and I look forward to seeing you and getting to know you.  I'm not a medical professional, I can only offer advice,if you need medical attention please see a medical professional.
Don’t compare your path with anybody else’s.
Your path is unique to you.
— Baba Ram Das |
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hatbox121 Posts: 10501
Group Leader
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Welcome to the group. Sounds like you've gotten good advice so far! I would have suggested the same things. Amy~ “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
Current dxes-Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Mitral Valve Prolapse w/regurg, 2 other heart valves with regurg, POTS, DDD, scoliosis, various OA, polyneuropathy of unknown origin, SI joint dysfunction/fusion/collapse, chronic rotar cuff tendonitis, impingement syndrome of the shoulder, chronic bursitis in various locations, degeneration of the sternum, vertigo, GERD, FM, CFS, CPS, various bone marrow lesions, brain lesions of unknown cause, migraines, TMJ, vertically bulging discs, Raynaud's, anemia, tinnitus, high copper levels, borderline glaucoma, colon polyps, intermittent RLS, Vit D deficiency, depression, Eye accomodation disorder, Essential tremor, recurrent kidney stones, sacral spine disorder, inflammed tendons, and inflammation of spinal nerves(no specific dx).
I'm am not a dr. I am not a substitute for a dr. All advice I give is based on research and my personal experiences. |
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bkands63 Posts: 15
New Member
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Thank you all for your help and advice, I now have a new tool to use when I talk with her, and hopefully I won't get as frustrated. Also, Thanks for the warm Welcome, I stumbled along this website, and from reading other discussions figured out I could benefit from everyones experience. I'm just glad there is someplace to go when I want to vent, or rant, or cry, or cheer and there is always going to be someone there. Thanks all. |
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broken Posts: 9239
Group Leader
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Im glad you found us as well,I have been here along time and it is a home away from home and a new family I have in my life..welocme.. we all have alot to give if one gets the help then some of this suffering is worth it..
remeber I am not a doctor I just say what I think |
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