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04/28/2012 05:37 PM

Depressed and in so much Pain.(page 2)

MoiraWolf
MoiraWolf  
Posts: 3416
Senior Member

Mary honey... I texted my husband with what had happened and his reply was "omg, poor gal, what an ass that guy is."

I think all of us would agree with the hubs. I'm afraid I'm with Julzy on this one. If he could do something like that, and not have the balls to tell you to your face, then you're better off without him. I have 2 Ex's who were just as bad. It hurts like hell, but you WILL get over it, in time. It may not seem like it now, but you will.

I feel so bad for you. What douchebaggery!

I would strongly suggest getting in touch with the local department of health and human services and see if there's something like a home health agency you might qualify for to have help with things like bathing and cooking and cleaning the house. You might also see if there's some groups thru local community outreach or large churches to see if there is things like meals on wheels, or (for example Fort Collins has one) a taxi service where you get your doc to sign that you're disabled, and the taxi will take you anywhere you want to go and pick you up and take you home, for just $2.50 per trip since I assume you can't drive. Depending on your city, there may be all kinds of programs where you can get out and about and not be stuck staring at 4 walls all day long.

(((((huge gentle hugs))))) You aren't alone. We're all here to help.

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04/28/2012 06:38 PM
maryandjimmie
maryandjimmie  
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Thank you everyone, I do appreciate everyone on her you are all such a big part of my family. I know it will get better in time right now it just dont feel like it but I will just have to stay strong. I refuse to beg him to come home or even ask him to, if he dont care about his vows that is somthing he will have to answer to but for me im going to get pass this hopfully soon. Right now I just need all the prayers and help I can get, I havent even told my son yet im so embarassed to tell him. He lived with me for so long taking care of me untill Jimmie moved in then he finally got on with his life I dont want to make him feel like he has to move back to take care of me. Hes a great man and I know he loves me but I know how much he worries about me and I know he will give up his place and move in to make sure im okay hes a good son but I want him to have his own life. I know he will be so hurt and worry alot about me and he has depression problems like me and I dont want to add more to his plate. His first and only love passed away 2 yrs ago the same time I was in the hospital on deaths door and hes still dealing with all that. Like I said I know he would move in and take care of me but hes 27 and needs his own life. I know im going to have to tell him but right now I just cant I dont want him to know how bad I hurt. The only one who knows besides all of you is my brother and hes so mad he told me like all of you that I deserve better he says just because you are disabled and in a chair dont mean he had a right to mistreat you. I know my brother will help out when he can and come over to visit hes a great brother and he calls or texts me daily plus he is great for moral support so thats good. He is so mad at Jimmie he knows all I been through in the past with my ex trying to kill me so he just wants to make sure im okay and safe. Thank you all so much for all your support I really need it right now. Please keep me in your prayers and if you have time please pm me I need all the support I can get. You all are so great I love you all so much.

04/28/2012 06:47 PM
broken
broken  
Posts: 11055
Group Leader

I am so sorry this has happend I missed the post till now you are in my prayers for sure..its easy to say your better off with out him(and I am sure you will be) but right now the fears are there,that I am sure..being you are in a wheel chair can you get assistance for you in your home? it might be something to look into if for nothing else to give your son some reasurance you will be okay..no matter your situation you due not deserve to be treated less then a person..you are wonderful and should be treated so..it will get better in time.I am so sorry sweetheart and am here for you,as I know the whole group is sending hugs and prayers

04/28/2012 08:18 PM
bc1028
bc1028  
Posts: 3383
Senior Member

I am so sorry you are going through all of this, I understand the feeling of not being able to dig your way out of a mental hole. Please continue to talk it out on here and know that we are all behing you.

04/29/2012 01:50 AM
faieriemama
faieriemama  
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Oh mary honey I just saw this post and it breaks my heart that jimmie (no good rat) would do this to you. I don't understand why he behaved this way, I'm just in shock so can only imagine how you must be feeling darling. Right now it probably doesn't feel like it you're better off without him(no good rat) you miss him and still have feelings for him honey. He was supposed to be the one that stood by you, and loved you then suddenly he became the No Good Rat. I wish I could be there to hold you and let you cry on my shoulder darlin, but since I can't I'm here in cyberland you can PM anytime as always. Please keep in touch often with all of us here we love you and are here for you anytime. Hugs and Love.

04/29/2012 07:02 AM
maryandjimmie
maryandjimmie  
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Thank you so much everyone for all the love and support you are giving me. Last night was such a hard night I thought about everything and how it all came about and now its time to be honest not only with myself but with everyone else. This is what hurts me the most about him leaving its not the way he did it though that hurt to he was a coward to do it that way but its the fact that as most of you know my bio mom and dad treated me really bad my bio mom gave me to my bio dad because she said I was no good and didnt want me so she gave me to him to molest. You see he molested me till I was 14 yrs old when I was kicked out and living in the parks and was beat and raped. I also had 13 misscarriages and buried 2 kids after full term birth. Well the only one that was there for me was a couple I call mom and dad now they are not my bio logical parents but they are the ones who showed me love and that I deserve a good life before that I never heard that before. Well I love my mom and dad because they took me in and trully loved me, Mom passed away 3 yrs ago this aug and I was devistated she left me some antique furniture over 50 yrs old and some gold jewelry its all I have left of her I know some will say its materialistic items but to me its all I have. Trust me im not a materialistic person at all I lived on the streets ate out of trash cans more then once but I loved my mom and dad they saved my life. Well I am not only dealing with the stress of pain but also I got behind in bills see the items mom left are still in storage I have not had a chance to get them out due to paying all the bills alone and all the jewelry mom left me is in the pawn shop and im about to lose those to. Jimmie knows this is the only things that matter to me but I had to pawn them off to pay our bills and keep them in storage because they are not in my town and I couldnt afford to pay them. Well he knows I just got a letter they are going to auction my moms stuff off HE KNOWS THIS AND HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME and after all these yrs taking care of both of us on my disability he is going to leave me now knowing im losing everything that is what hurts the most. If it wasnt for me he wouldnt have cloths or a place to go these past 2 1/2 yrs this is why I feel so betrayed. My brother says Mary for him to do this to you knowing how much they mean to you and you are about to lose everything makes him a punk and you dont need him. This is why it hurts so bad that hes did this now out of all times I had to ask my brother just so I can have food to eat plus my bday is on the 12 which I dont care thats fine but come one couldnt he be a man I deserved that after taking care of his non working ass for these last 2 1/2 yrs.

04/29/2012 08:52 AM
broken
broken  
Posts: 11055
Group Leader

sometimes we have to say to ourself, what should we have exspected..if you took care of him all this time why would he step up now..

it seems in life everything happends in three's..I pray there is away for you to get back what you have had to pawn,or store..and I understand they are what you have left of them,remeber their love is what gave you hope..


04/29/2012 09:03 AM
DanaW
DanaW  
Posts: 2222
Senior Member

mary, I'm very sorry you had to meet another crappy excuse of a man. more so, I'm very sorry you fell in love with him. So often, we see beyond the warning signs and focus on the good things. I am guilty of this...been doing it for my entire life. I know my words are little consolation but I want you to know that you are not the only woman to fall for a douchebag. You should not be embarrased at all, he should be ashamed of himself! But God will get him in the end...at least that is what I tell myself about my exes....

hugs my friend...I'm always willing to listen if you need to vent!


04/29/2012 09:04 AM
maryandjimmie
maryandjimmie  
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You are so right all this time he made excuses why he couldnt find a job but now I have to think at least it will be cheaper not taking care of him.

I am going to try to get my moms things back I know it will take time but I wont give up.


04/29/2012 10:20 AM
maryandjimmie
maryandjimmie  
Posts: 1849
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Okay I just had a flashlight go off in my head while chatting with happy granny and this is it I am in a wheelchair due to a ex husband and I REFUSE TO LET JIMMIE OR ANY OTHER MAN ABUSE ME MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY AGAIN I DESERVE BETTER THEN THAT IM A HELLA GOOD WOMAN AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF I LET ANYONE HURT ME AGAIN FUCK JIMMIE. Excuse my french im just so mad.

Post edited by: maryandjimmie, at: 04/29/2012 10:26 AM

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