Fibromyalgia Support Group

Julzy,

I LOVE your willow tree story. That is so very symbolic.

Thanks for sharing that with us.

Ushie/Broken and all members who shared opinions,

Thats exactly what I have been doing all weekend long, cook, clean, walk my dog, today went to the YMCA by myself, clean some more, pulled some weeds from the bed of flowers in the front of my house, nap, clean some more and now here i am again.

My husband is short tempered with the world around him, and I get in the way alot of times lately. Thats why I drive us on the weekends other wise I get upset with his driving and now give us a break from that headache.

Anyways I have not complained about hubby before because I have been able to manage his difficult side and now I have to stay clear of his bad ass attitude or I get into a stressful situation.

I am living in a co-dependent relationship, I need him financially "SO I MUST PUT UP WITH HIS MEANNESS". By writing this I feel release from some of my stress since I don't have anyone to vent with. Thanks for listening to me. My next step is to have my rheumy give me some anti depressants.

Olga

Post edited by: oroman, at: 04/22/2012 04:32 PM

As i read the story I got the feeling is someone writing about my life because it sounds like a actual day I have had. It is a horrible diagnosis to have to rip apart everything that you use to be and are. I can also relate to the insensitive husband front. My hubby is the same way. I feel alot of the time that he treats me as if I am crazy and he is not sensitive to the fact that I am in pain all the time and at times it is worse. I want to say that he has gotten better but he changes from minute to minute. I am doing very well with my current work hours and dont feel so overwhelmed and tired but he is not happy with that. He wants me to work full time so he dont have to do anything and can buy what he wants to buy. I guess that would be one of the ways he is very selfish. I know I have vented about all this before but it has just been one of those days. Its cold and raining so of course I am hurting more today and also have a migraine. I thank all of you for your support in this. It is so comforting to read these stories and not feel alone in all this

I am VERY fortunate that my husband will do anything for me and he mostly understands what I am going through. He is always trying to convince me to do less, and he helps alot around the house. He is not a very emotional person, so he does not show me too much sympathy. The latest thing though is that he is always accusing me of being cranky, short, abrupt and mean sounding. I have to really take a good look at myself, because I don't think I am that way very much at all. Granted, I would like to walk around with a perpetual smile on my face, but that doesn't happen when you always hurt. It bothers me so much that he feels that way. This evening, I apologized for sounding cranky but I told him that I didn't feel cranky so it doesn't make sense that I would sound that way. This is driving me crazy and I have so many more important things to deal with that I would like to tell him to grow up. I won't say anything like that though, because he is so good to me. I'm wondering if any of you have a similar situation. Maybe I am really a bitch and don't recognize it. I would like to record myself when we talk, but that would be dumb. I guess I'll just try to be careful. I wonder if any of you have similar situations. Is this crazy syndrome changing who we are without us knowing it??????? Geri

Dana, those people like your friend's son, who just make you tired being around them... I call them "psychic vampires." Instead of feeding on blood, they feed on your energy, or at least that's what it feels like. And of course, us Fibromites, don't have enough to begin with! A psychic vamp certainly doesn't make it any easier!

Sending him outside to weed the garden was probably a good move. You may need to learn to shield yourself more. When I meditate, I imagine a fog around me, thick and white and comforting... then I imagine that fog coaslescing around me, getting thicker, til it's a solid eggshell type barrier that nothing can get in unless I let it. Imagine something like that, put up a wall between you and him. May not help, but certainly can't hurt =P

**edit for typos**

Post edited by: MoiraWolf, at: 04/22/2012 08:10 PM

Hey everyone! What great stories and feedback on this thread. I got myself up this morning and went back to the garden. I didn't finish but I did get about halfway. And I did plant my new flowers....everyday hold a little success!

I guess I'm fortunate that I'm single. There are the downfalls of having to do everything myself but I also don't have to deal with a bad partner. I don't know how those of you in this situation deal with it on top of the fibro. You are all much stronger than you know!

Hugs everyone

For the past week or so I have been slowing myself down and listening more to music when in my car. I love Salsa music so I listen to it more and alot more louder. And purposedly I have slowed down my routine, so I leave later for work,etc.. driving slower, and just thinking of "whats the hurry" I am always extremely early for everything, so now my attitude is "I will get there soon enough" and not rush but still get there on time.

I want to smell the roses, enjoy the moment and relax. I am now getting a handle on "Its all about me" but in a respectful way and without any attitudes.

Take care everyone. Olga

Olga, You go girl! That is wonderful!

Oh, yeah! slowing ourselves down & taking care of our needs is what it's all about.

My hubby is great most of the time, now, but he had to learn, just like I did. How much I hurt & how much I can do changes day to day & week to week. I never know what I'm going to be able to do, so can't really expect him to know, either.

Hang in there, & be good to yourself !!!

Geri,

I am kinda in the same boat as you. My hubbie is good to me for the most part. I know he thinks that I am hurting myself, cuz he thinks all I do is sit in my chair all day..which some days I do, cuz I am in pain. He has quit telling me this though after I have snapped at him a few times about it.

However...he also thinks I am totally sad and unhappy all the time because I don't walk around with a smile on my face. He even takes offense sometimes, and thinks that I am unhappy because of him, and that maybe I would be happier without him..I want to smack him when this attitude emerges..If he had the pain/fatigue/etc that we have, he would be in a corner crying, not just sitting around and not smiling. (No offense to anyone, just saying that sometimes men take their pains to the limit and need to be babied..my hubbie is like this anyway)

Olga,

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with a cranky man. I know you are a strong woman, and that you need his finances, but I hate to hear of his insensitivity and being mean to you. Maybe put a little exlax in his chocolate ice cream? LOL Prayers are with you. HUGS to all