I was rather hurt by that statement cause he knows I'm hurting a lot right now. He has quit smoking which is making him a bear to live with right now but that's not an excuse to be a big meanie to me.

I'm just really irritated at him right now. he knows that when I push myself like I did yesterday I pay for it the next day. I'd like to see him live inside my body for at least a day. I'd like to see him get no sleep, be in constant pain, can hardly do anything for yourself much less try and clean the house....AGGGGGHHHHHH

I am so on your level with this issue. My boyfriend can be a bit of a jerk as well in regards to the limitations I have to put on myself. Some nights, I need the TV to make me drowsy enough to sleep. He hates the TV on when it's bed time. He expects that I can just jump into bed and fall asleep. Uh, yeah, right, we all know we pretty much scoot, smoosh, cradle, and roll around like a dog to find the right spot in the bed. He doesn't get it b/c he's not me. We spat every so often about how he hates the TV and how he can't sleep, yet there are times that he'll pass right out on the bed with the TV and the lights on. But still, those nights that he can't fall asleep I have to suffer by lying awake staring at the black ceiling. It's not hardly fair. I try to tell him that he might stay awake for a 1/2 hour longer, but I'll lay awake for hours without the TV when I need it. Darn it!

Last night, I had to have a bit of a heart to heart with him. I asked him for a bit of respect when I'm telling him I'm in pain. Case in point the other night when I had a major migraine. He wants the lights on in the bedroom until he's ready to close his eyes. I guess he just can't stand the fact he might dose off before it's time if the lights are turned off. My eyes were on fire from my head hurting so bad, so the light in the bedroom was driving me bonkers. Finally, after pleading and taking it to the "my eyes are on fire" extreme, he "let" me turn the light out.

Of course, all of this tit for tat petty arguments over the TV and the lights could be fixed if I didn't have his dad move in with us back at the end of October. My boyfriend and I are pretty much confined to our bedroom in our small one bedroom apt until we find something bigger when the weather isn't so cold.

I feel your pain completely. It's hard when he's trying to stop smoking and his ways of dealing with stressors are no longer based upon smoking the stress away. He's got to find a different way to cope now and unfortunately you are catching the brunt of the ordeal. It's not an excuse, you are absolutely right. He made the conscious decision to quit smoking and I'm sure that you are supporting him in that. Now, if he could just find a way to get out his stress without griping about the house that's probably going to be just as messed up tomorrow as it was today and even yesterday with kids around. I wonder if he would be up to taking a short walk (I know most of us aren't up for a long walk and depending on where you live right now, it might not even be feasible). I wish there was a clear answer to the problem, but like my issues with dealing with the confinement. Maybe that's it too, if it's cold where you are, which I'm sure it is, no one likes being cooped up.

Okay,let's face the facts that I have learned in hindsight. They just don't get it. It had nothing to do with the actual housework. He could not understand my pain. His mother has fibr and still keeps a spotless house. I told him My pain is mine and different than his or his mothers. I also had other health issues which make doing anything at all.

So with all that said.....here's my advice,if you value your

relationship,keep trying to educate them on fibro and chronic pain issues. He didn't share with me what he was feeling,and I was always feeling guilty for being sick and making him mad but not knowing what I had done wrong. It was a vicious circle,that ended a marriage 2 nights before Christmas. He sees things black and white and there is no grey areas in his world. He just couldn't see it or understand it so to him it looked like I was lazy and not trying or giving up. He went to the doctors,saw the mri's the ct's(neck ddd)Was with me when fibro was dx. He was the one who told me to quit work because the pain was getting soooooo bad. He just couldnt handle my not being able to do the things I used to do or as he would always say"I miss the old you"like I didn't.

TALK TALK TALK

Sherry

I can only imagine what he's dealing with, in trying to quit smoking. Good for him! But I'm sure it's hard on you and the kids.

Hang in there. I know he hurt your feelings. Try and tell yourself that he really didn't mean it. He's just going through his own stuff.

My husband has been very understanding. But he's still a "man". He needs encouragement and praise. Whenever he's grumpy or "fussy" as we call it at our house- I try to change the subject and give him a complement or something.

I'll be thinking of ya. Do hang in there! I'm glad you have us! We're here for ya!

I try to talk to him about how I feel and of course I get "well I'm in pain too and I have my health problems" I try to make sure that I'm available for him and help him try to be healthy. Since he's a man he's stubborn and I have to let him figure it out on his own most of the time. But I get the you're always talking about fibro and I just get tired of hearing it, but he's really not listening because he would understand that I can't walk as long as I used to, I can't do as much housework as I used to. I just wish he'd stop and listen to me and be supportive. I mean for the most part he gets it but there are times like today that he just doesn't get it and he knows that I'm unable to take any med's for lack of insurance and with them I would be able to do more so as everyone says "I'm doing the best that I can"