'living with someone with fibromyalgia'

Well. first hand account, I think I understand how your wife feels about honoring duties she took on while not plagued with this syndrome. If she is anything like me, then she probably has to feel like she has to accomplish things and do favors for family in order to feel valued and as someone people can still count on. The worse thing for me as my symptoms become worse and worse is the guilt that I can't help my wife anymore with the baths. I did hold on for a good year and a half before I got to the point where my wife and I were discussing it and agreed that I'm not really doing much good for the kids if I'm not giving it my 100% because I'm either too dizzy, dealing with immense pain, and everything else having to deal with the things I didn't deal with while in bed. I still help when I can, but the tension of my wife feeling like I should be in bed resting and me feeling like a big loser who can't even help with the baths has finally dissipated and we live peacefully for the most part. As peacefully a 4 yr old and 2 yr old can allow such things to occur.

About your back, do you mind if I ask the manner in which you received your injury. I have 3 distinct herniated discs in my lower back and it has totally made it impossible for me to travel anywhere without a cane. Also I'm interested to know what surgeries they performed and why they say you aren't feeling any better. Actually I'm a little worried since I inevitably go under the knife in a month or so.

Thanks again and take care.

but i just don't understand how you can be in bed for days (hurting)...then the phone rings...and its our son..."Hey...Grannie can you come babysit (their new baby) so i can do whatever"...up she goes...drives two hours to their house...takes care of a 5 month year old for over 24 hours...drives home...

Maybe it's an adrenaline rush,when she feels needed and counted on.She pushes herself,I'm sure.Adrenaline and motivation (in this particular order) can do wonders,you know.Happens to the sanest of us,as well.

When you felt low or tired,didn't it ever happen to you for an unplanned,exciting event to "set you on fire" and you could go on for hours,after being sick/beat just before?

Have you given Social Security Disability any thought? I know it can be a burden having to wait for a decision but I'm told that if you can get a doctor right from the beginning to support you in your disability your success rate sometimes goes up and you are moved quicker through the system. I didn't have this luxury when filing and ended up having to fight the state, but with a lawyer won my case.

I know it probably doesn't ease your anxiety but FM is a truly disabling condition and is being recognized more and more for the disease that it is.

I wish you the best and if there is any I can do please let me know.

Don't feel bad or guilty about having an illness or feeling like you should just buck up and take it like an adult. Before I finally gave in and realized I couldn't work anymore I was the Director of Database Marketing which is just a fancy name for someone being on the computer all day making sure that our direct mail campaigns got out on time, which campaigns were going to go out, and analyzing our marketing programs. Just typing away at the computer every day, sitting, and thinking I should be able to get by.

I even set up my computer at home to be able to dial in to my work computer so I could accomplish my job but it didn't matter, the workload got more demanding than I could keep up with and I finally had to let go.

Today it's even tough since I look at the want ads and am tempted to apply, but I know that within a few weeks of working I'll just end up calling in and the whole cycle will begin.

So it's not your fault that you're ill and it's definitely a debilitating illness that affects your train of thought, your ability to maintain composure, and maintain a level of energy to keep up with everything.

Everyone here knows what it's like.

I just want to add that it's important to apply for Social Security sooner than later ... it take forever (literally years. I almost waited too long to qualify as I effectivly stopped working five years before I applied.

Somebody will pay you if you're too sick to work - it's called Social Securiy Disibility & if you're too sick to work you're entitled to it.

It's not easy, I've waited a year so far, but you will get it if you persever - I know it's hard.....especially when you feel like crap but you have the right to be disabled.

Meanwhile, Order a copy of THE FIBROMYALGIA ADVOCATE by Devin J. Staranyl MD for Amazon ASAP.

I bought all the Fibro books out there & this is the one to have...learn about Chronic Myofascial Pain & Trigger Points (probably why your head & neck hurts)

and how to treat them. From my standpoint most meds except opiates are a waste of $$$ and are pretty worthless.

what does help is bodywork (sssuming you also have Chronic Myofascial Pain too), avoiding what makes it hurt (working,siting, driving etc) & opiates for the pain.

Plese do buy the book today it has the best most honest information on Fibromyalgia & Mayofascial Trigger Points and how to live as well as you can with what you have.

best of luck

I just want to add that it's important to apply for Social Security sooner than later ... it take forever (literally years. I almost waited too long to qualify as I effectivly stopped working five years before I applied.

Somebody will pay you if you're too sick to work - it's called Social Securiy Disibility & if you're too sick to work you're entitled to it.

It's not easy, I've waited a year so far, but you will get it if you persever - I know it's hard.....especially when you feel like crap but you have the right to be disabled.

Meanwhile, Order a copy of THE FIBROMYALGIA ADVOCATE by Devin J. Staranyl MD for Amazon ASAP.

I bought all the Fibro books out there & this is the one to have...learn about Chronic Myofascial Pain & Trigger Points (probably why your head & neck hurts)

and how to treat them. From my standpoint most meds except opiates are a waste of $$$ and are pretty worthless.

what does help is bodywork (sssuming you also have Chronic Myofascial Pain too), avoiding what makes it hurt (working,siting, driving etc) & opiates for the pain.

Plese do buy the book today it has the best most honest information on Fibromyalgia & Mayofascial Trigger Points and how to live as well as you can with what you have.

best of luck

I just want to add that it's important to apply for Social Security sooner than later ... it take forever (literally years. I almost waited too long to qualify as I effectivly stopped working five years before I applied.

Somebody will pay you if you're too sick to work - it's called Social Securiy Disibility & if you're too sick to work you're entitled to it.

It's not easy, I've waited a year so far, but you will get it if you persever - I know it's hard.....especially when you feel like crap but you have the right to be disabled.

Meanwhile, Order a copy of THE FIBROMYALGIA ADVOCATE by Devin J. Staranyl MD for Amazon ASAP.

I bought all the Fibro books out there & this is the one to have...learn about Chronic Myofascial Pain & Trigger Points (probably why your head & neck hurts)

and how to treat them. From my standpoint most meds except opiates are a waste of $$$ and are pretty worthless.

what does help is bodywork (sssuming you also have Chronic Myofascial Pain too), avoiding what makes it hurt (working,siting, driving etc) & opiates for the pain.

Plese do buy the book today it has the best most honest information on Fibromyalgia & Mayofascial Trigger Points and how to live as well as you can with what you have.

best of luck