Fibromyalgia Support Group

i have always been there for my friends. When they were struggling with their personal issues i would drop everything to help them. When they were deppressed i would do everything i could to drag them out and make them laugh. but now that im suffering my friends have disapeared. I have told them what is going on and that doesnt seem to make a difference. My new best friend is the pet bird my daughter got for her birthday. im really sad. I wish my friends would know what to do and would think of trying to cheer me up as i would do for them. SO here i sit all alone in the quite of my home and nobody calls..... i need someone to help pull me through this difficult time. My fibro is at its worst right now.....and i am down about it..... i wanted to thank you all on this forum for being here for me some more than others you know who you are i thank you from the bottom of my heart. SO do you feel like youve lost your friends or that their lives have just moved on without you? How do you cope with that? i would love to hear some possitive ideas. love you all and wishing you all peace

Hello Spiritheartandsoul,

We are here for you. Most of my friends have moved on because too because they do not understand this fibro. Most days I don't understand it either, so how can I expect them to. I don't know of anything that will make you feel better, but if I did I would say them to you right now. Can you read, watch TV or do a craft? That always cheers me a bit. OR just going outside for a bit. Is the weather there permitting?

You are a strong person to reach out to the group. Hang in there, cause tomorrow is a new day and it will be better!!!

{{{hugs}}} and a shoulder for you!

Hilda

thanks.... the weather here is cold. you know how it is when you feel so rotten that its depressing and then that depressed feeling drags you down so that the things that you would do to make you feel better even if only for a few min... just seem to difficult to do... hmmmmm.... just makes me wonder if the people i considered to be my best friends really were. It seems like i was always the giver which i do happily but once im in the needing they all but disapear..... sad thought... i probably should stop myself from thinking it since its only making me sadder....and whats the sense in that... when your down its hard to cheer your self up i find that friends have a better chance at pulling me through it. they are stronger then i am when im feeling yuck....if you know what i mean....i keep telling myself tom will be a better day but it doesnt seem to work like that for me lately... it just gets worse.... i would do anything for some peace for some energy for some relief i dont think ive ever been that desperate....hmmmmmm.......

Dearest spirit, I am so sorry you feel so alone. It's amazing how many friends you can have and help over the years. You feel like you give and give, but as soon as you need them or start telling them what you are going through, they kind of disappear. My friend of 40 years that lives just 20 minutes from me, has kind of fallen off the face of the earth because I can't run around with her anymore like we used to. When she calls me now, it's only for about 10 minutes and then she wants to hang up or she has something to do. It does seem like 'their' lives are going full-force but you are just on the sidelines watching it all take place - kind of like watching a movie.

The way I cope? Well, I pray, try to read things that make me laugh (you just got keep your sense of humor - even though it's hard sometimes), I am blessed to have an awesome husband that loves me so dearly, and well, my first step was joining this group. I have also looked up a support group that is in my area. However, I gotta get REALLY honest here...sometimes I just want some friends that don't have this. I know that sounds really, really, bad but I am just being honest.

Loneliness is a terrible thing. I just try to focus on the things that I Do have and how blessed I am in other areas of my life, am grateful for, instead of what I don't have or what I've lost. Most importantly, I think we have to realize that those overwhelming feelings we get sometimes are only temporary. Also, you said your Fibro is bad right now and I don't know about you, but that really plays with my mind and my emotions.

I also find that treating myself somehow always makes me feel better, i.e., soft comfy fleece blanket, comfort food, watching my favorite movie, really comfy fuzzy slippers.

I wish you peace with this and I'm just so sorry you feel so alone. I am sure everyone will agree with me that we are here for you.

{{{BIG BIG BIG HUG}}}

Like Hilda said we are here for you.

I may be way off, but I just don't think a true friend would give up on a person. My first thought when I read your post, was that they were users. They used you when they need you, but turned tail and ran when you need them.

Sorry if I'm out of line, I just don't think they were true friends.

i know what you mean about other friends who dont suffer with this. i dont think there is anything wrong with that. We get support in many different ways from different people. right now i spend most of my time lying down.... no strength to move and the pain hmmmmm....its cold outside so that doesnt help... My husband is wonderful also but he is often at a loss as to how to cheer me up and also to be fair he is so busy doing things around the house that i just cant do right now. So i do have some special people around me that care. I guess sometimes im not comforted because they dont know how i feel. They cant truly understand what it is like... i guess wh need the support from those who have this and those that dont. Each group provides us with different types of support. Wow now im rambaling. i think you get the point.... thanks for caring and for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me

spirit

not out of line at all.... i agree.... or maybe they just dont know what to do??? so they instead of trying anything back off. Thanks for your thoughts

You are so right - we need support from both - those that do have and those that don't. I agree with others in that perhaps, your friends weren't true friends to begin with. Sometimes I think my 'friend' of 40 years has been my 'friend' of 40 years for the simple fact that we just know one another. If that makes any sense?

And you are so right in that it makes all the difference when someone really, truly knows how you feel. It is a bit dis-comforting when you try to draw comfort from a friend or even your husband, but in your heart you know they truly don't 'get it' because they really don't know what it's like.

Spirit I know what you are going thru. I've always been the one with the soggy shoulder but when I needed someone, they just turned their heads or changed the subject. My mother and sister even did that to me a couple of times when I needed them the most. I got so depressed that I went to a shrink and got me some antidepressants which helped allot. If you have a true friend, call them up and invite them over for a night of cards or games. My neighbor has fibro too. We email each other cause neither of us can stand to walk on the uneven ground to get to each others houses.

In order for your hubby to cheer you up, you first have to cheer yourself up. Find something you liked to do before you got fibro and try your best to do it again. When you have conquered it again, be happy and show the fibro that it can't control you.

thank you for your encouraging words. how do you cheer yourself up when you feel rotten. its hard to inspire yourself when your so low. do you know what i mean? any insight would be appreciated