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11/17/2008 02:06 PM

Surviving the FM Limitations

livn4jc4evr
livn4jc4evr  
Posts: 453
Member

Thank you to all that responded to Suffocated limitations why can't I be normal.

Question for all of you wise fibrocreatures.

Once you come to the stage of accepting your "New Self" do any of you still feel like you have failed at the end of many endless attempts.

I have always tried to live my life to the fullest and enjoy life as it comes. I feel I am almost where I am able to except the limitations. However at the end of the day when you come home from work and you do not have any energy to be productive and you find yourself not able to do much because you have pushed yourself to much at work. Should I feel happy that I was able to accomplish what I accomplished and simply be happy with that? Are should you feel like o man I should have done more? Is it normal to feel as if you should have done more?

I am ready to except it I just feel at the end of the day that I could have always some how pushed my self to do more even though I would regret it later. I feel like I am unsatisfied with the amount of things I am able to get done.

I know I should just stop beating my self up. And deep in my heart I feel if I am still thinking like that it could mean that I still have accepted it or I don't know... I feel so crazily filled with so many emotions and there is just so much stress and so many things that I not only want to do but I need to do.

Sorry I am just in a funky state right now. Thanks for the support fibrocreatures. You make FM easier to deal with Thank you so much.

That feels so good to get that out! Smile

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11/17/2008 03:54 PM
jesnyc01
jesnyc01  
Posts: 147
Member

I understand everything you're saying here Livn. I often feel like I'm pushing myself too hard, but still not hard enough. I get so frustrated that I haven't done more, when I stop to realize how much I've done already. It's hard to walk that line. I constantly feel as if I am giving so much at work that there's nothing left for me. I feel overwhelmed.

I definitely feel like the fibro has cut many of my dreams away from me. Places I wanted to go, career paths I wanted to take, many things are simply unavailable to me because I am physically incapable of completing those tasks. It's not about determination or anything, it's about, I want a job where I have to lift around 40 lbs or more a day, and I can't do that. So, I have to do something else. I want to live in a place with all 4 seasons, with cold weather [winter is my favorite season], and I can't do that. So, I have to live somewhere else. I want to eat the types of foods that I cherish and love to cook, and I can't eat those anymore. So, I have to eat other things I can't afford. It's horrible.

What keeps me going is that "every problem is an opportunity." I have to eat other things, let me learn to cook new things. I have to move away, let me move to a city I love that will have weather I can stand. I can't work the job I want, time for new dreams and a new determination to love other things in life and make a way from there.

It's okay to feel funky and "not productive" but something else that keeps me going is the fact that everyone goes at their own pace. And everyone has to be proud of their own progress in their own way. Never look to others as a yardstick for what you need to accomplish. Look to yourself, your strengths, your accomplishments and have pride in that. No one measures up or down to anyone else because everyone's different. I am just as proud of the accomplishments of someone who managed to get out of bed and feed their kids when they're hurting so much they can't see, as someone who manages to get to work and finish that project while fighting fibro-fog. I am proud of someone who finds their way to our support group, signs on, and reaches out for connection as someone who gets up on stage and does their leading role dancing and singing while feeling like one big bruise. Everyone is a success in their own right, and no one is a failure when they manage to continue to live and survive this condition instead of giving up and laying down and letting go.

Fibro-limitations are real, are devastating, and can be lasting. But, taking those limitations and turning them into opportunities to make something new, forge something new, is the challenge we all face. Some days it's easier to reconcile than others. Some days it's as easy as breathing, other days it's like trying to recite the Chinese "alphabet" backwards! But, in the end, one thing we must never lose is hope. Once we give up hope, that's when the fibro wins. This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. I don't think I have anymore platitudes to share Wink but I hope this meandering answer has helped you some.

Final answer: The limitations are as real as the determination to overcome those limitations. Never give up on that.


11/17/2008 05:59 PM
Starr
Starr  
Posts: 3358
Senior Member

Brilliant! Very well put.

11/17/2008 07:20 PM
Cori

Wow that was so insightful and inspiring. Wonderful!

11/18/2008 06:18 AM
livn4jc4evr
livn4jc4evr  
Posts: 453
Member

Thank you for your meandering answer. It really helped!Smile

11/18/2008 08:12 AM
faieriemama
faieriemama  
Posts: 3346
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

jesnyc01, beautiful, uplifting and inspiring. May I please save it to my documents to read whenever I feel like a failure?

th fibrohurts6


11/18/2008 08:16 AM
jesnyc01
jesnyc01  
Posts: 147
Member

Smile

Anything I can do to help, Livn. That's what we're all here for: patience, understanding, acceptance, compassion, and support. I like to give as much as I can get. And I get so much, so it's the least I can do.

...[Starr: that bit about the actress on stage singing and dancing was for you...your ability to get up on stage and keep going regardless is an inspiration to me. Thanks for being you!]Cheerful

And to everyone else...just keep on keeping on, I'm sending all my love and support in everyone's general direction...

Wink


11/18/2008 08:19 AM
jesnyc01
jesnyc01  
Posts: 147
Member

faieriemama wrote:

jesnyc01, beautiful, uplifting and inspiring. May I please save it to my documents to read whenever I feel like a failure?

th fibrohurts6

Thank you. And, absolutely! *whispers: never feel like a failure, that implies someone else is a success at your life. and, how can that be? they're not the ones living it...*


11/18/2008 08:24 AM
jesnyc01
jesnyc01  
Posts: 147
Member

Aw shucks...you're making the texas gal sheepish blush come out. Thanks for your positive feedback. Sometimes I just get to rambling and I have no idea where I'm going, and I'm just happy that someone gets what I'm saying and can take something positive from it. Glad it was able to help ya'll...I'll be quiet now... Wink

11/18/2008 08:34 AM
Starr
Starr  
Posts: 3358
Senior Member

I wondered about that, Jes...thank you. Smile
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