Fibromyalgia Support Group

Tonight we carved pumpkins. I got the boys top cut out and they cleaned them. I also traced the design on mine and Kamerons. Nick did Kami's and Jaycee did his. I picked a fairly easy design to hands coming out of the ground reaching toward the moon, like a zombie coming out of the ground. But I am so embarassed. The boys were completely done with theirs and I was still trying to get the first hand out. It took me forever and my mom and Nick kept saying just stop let Nick do it you are hurting yourself. It took me like an hour to get the one thing half way out. I just couldn't do it and it hurt sooo bad. I finally gave in and let Nick finish it. But I was so embarassed that I couldn't even carve a pumpkin. I guess I was exhausted today and work was rough but still. This is the first time ever that I have really couldn't do something. I pushed sooo hard, I really tried. They just kept saying stop stop. I feel embarassed but luckily my sister and her boyfriend had already left so it was just my mom and nick and the kids. I don't think my mom realized I was that bad, until she saw it. Then Nick had it done in like 10 minutes which made me feel worse. Then outside when we were lighting them I almost fell over like three times! What is up with that? I just had no strength left. Now it makes me question my ability to do our power trick or treating. Am I going to be able to do it? I tried so hard to carve the darn pumpkin and I couldn't. It's a pumpkin for pete's sake! I'm never going to be the same am I.

Cori, I know you probably don't want to hear this...but for ME, my FMS continues to get worse every year. I've had it for 7 yrs and this year there are a lot that I can't do. A lot of times I hide how bad I am doing or what I can't do from those that love me because they don't understand or think I can just "get over it" or I am a "klutz".

I commend you for trying!! I gave up on pumpkins 3 years ago...I miss it because I love roasting the seeds!

Don't give up on yourself!!

{{{{ gentle hugs }}}}

Ana

Cori, at the rate my hands are going I'll never be able to carve pumpkins once Kerrianne is able to enjoy it. Daddy will have to take that part over (I'll draw the stuff on and he can carve) As for trick or treating, don't give up on it just yet. Can you take the car with you and maybe part it at each block, walk the block and then take a ride to the next parking place so you can sit and rest a little? Then if you can't continue you can drive while they walk? There has to be a way to make it work.

I know how you feel about feeling like you can't do anything. My rheumy on Thurs filled out a form for the ins co. She basically declared me totally and perm disabled. I knew I was getting bad and I know from experience that nothing is working medication-wise. I had even come to terms with possibly not going back to my old school since my replacement was hired and my principal pretty much has forgotten I exist. But seeing it written on the paper was surreal. I don't know how to feel about it.

Don't be embarrassed by all of this. I get the same way, so here's the pot calling the kettle black. But your family just doesn't want to see you hurting, out of love and concern for you. Don't take it further for yourself than that. You are just adding stress to your life that you don't need. Take the time to grieve the activities that you can't do as well, but don't feel embarrassed for something that is out of your control.

I'm here for you Hun!

Hi Cori,

Please don'tbe so hard on yourself. I know how you feel. My husband will find me slumped at the kitchen sink, sweat pouring down my face from the pain. And he'll say " why didn't you tellme and I will do the dishes". It stinks he works 50+ hours and I can't work at all.

My husband and daughter are always telling me to stop and rest. There is alot of things I can no longer do. And it pisses me off. But DO NOT LET FIBRO DEFINE YOU.

Hugs,

Jenn

Thank you for the encouraging words. I feel a little better about it now.

I was never good at carving pumpkins even when I felt good.

Like Jenn said, don't be so hard o yourself. At least you got in there and the kids had fun and that's all that matters. Next year trace the designs and let the kids do their own, help when you are needed. On yours have the kids help you, they'll be clammering to help you.

Hi Cori

I completely understand what you mean with pumpkins. I think it's impressive that you did your own pumpkin anyways. My husband since we got married has done ours and now he uses a dremmel and does some fancy carving. So when everything else fails go out and get your hubbies power tools.

I was thinking of getting more involved rather than just adding what i wanted to dooing something more now that we have a 4 year old it's starting to get more fun. However I have been diagnosed with carpal tunnel in my right wrist and I am right handed and it's way to bad to do anything like carving a pumpkin. It's been awhile since we talked I will try and send you a pm later today.

Kristi

Cori, I cannot imagine doing a pumpkin and not just for the pain. I hate the guts. Just make it your job to make seeds! Yummy!! I think pumpkins feel like the inside of a rectum (and I was a nurse, so yes, I know what that feels like). LOL Now how's that desire to carve pumpkins? LOL

I know it is hard to face the fact that somethings we can no longer do. It is hard to let go of that control over it. I have had to face the fact that there is now so much I can no longer do. On a very good day I can fold clothes and get them out of the washer but after about 2 loads I get to hurting in my back. I don't do much cooking now because standing over the stove makes my back hurt so bad that I can barely walk. My hubby works and does most of the house work which makes me feel bad but he just says rest and let me help. I think the hardest thing for us is to let go and let someone take care of us because we are the caretakers in the family. As far as the pumkin goes I agree let the kids have fun doing them and you be the artist. I know it will be hard on you the other night my daughter wanted me to peel a pear for her and I had to say no because I knew I couldn't because I tried peelling potatoes one night and cried from the pain. As for trick and treating do what you can then rest when your done. If you get tired maybe stop and rest at the houses and let the kids oo and ahh over what they have then continue. Small breaks and pacing yourself may help. I know when I work in kidz church I have to watch what I do the day before or I want have the energy to do it. So pace yourself and do what you can and rest when you can maybe take that day off work if you can and rest and get ready for the night. I pray you and your family will have a good time.

Cindy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! Now I'm gonna be thinking that when I squeeze the guts outta mine!

**Kristi**...a DREMMEL! Thank you, thank you, thank you! We have a contest each year (just us 4 and the girls bf's)...there are no rules, sooooooooooooo guess who's gonna win this year! Thanks for posting that!

On the other side of the coin...I remember soo many years when the kids were little, I could never carve one. #1 because I then lived in Eastern Washington where it was about to snow and it was way too cold for me to be outside and #2 it hurt me too bad. I couldn't find a comfy position to get into to carve it and my hands just wouldn't do it. So, my daughter (now 18 years old) would clean one out for me and I'd just carve a big heart on it. Not much work and I still had a pumpkin on the porch!

I know what you mean when you say you're embarrassed cuz you can't do anything. Oh boy, do I!!! But if you use your imagination...sometimes you can do things without doing it! lol...did that make sense?? Well, you know what I mean!

{{{{Pumpkin Hugs}}}}