MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
09/26/2008 06:35 PM

Rant and Real

sschmitt

Like rock and roll! Well, I was trying for something clever here. (Just read and re-read a lot of the 'all in your head' posts.)

First and foremost, what I want to know, is WHAT GIVES physicians in our country the right to assume that we are MAKING anything up!? I am sick. I don't care if I don't 'look sick'. I don't care what the bloodtest says. LOOK INTO MY EYES and at the circles underneath them. Consider the fact that I've forgotten my own phone number (for a short period of time). Furthermore consider (since this is a 'biggee') that I AM an educated person and didn't just come out of a cave somewhere in a third world country! I spent 3 years in college in order to become a Teacher, not to graduate and live a seemingly 'futile' life! And I AM NOT IN DEPRESSION!

And the suggestions of ANYBODY that we 'DO' this or 'DO' that, my dear, dear friends, isn't that the crux of the problem? When my C.F.S. is really bad, I am FATIGUED and can't 'DO' anything. In fact, I have awakened from an operation and didn't start breathing on my own; my lungs had to be 'coaxed' into working again! Isn't that significant? (I think so!)

But one HUGE difference between classical and clinical depression is this: when depressed you don't FEEL like doing anything; with my CFS or FIBRO I DO want to do things but cannot. That is a fundamental difference that I have yet to get a physician to understand.

Furthermore, let's not forget the 100's of people with epilepsy and tuberculosis who were told they were lazy, crazy or malingerers and put into caves and colonies! Haven't we matured from THOSE days? I sure hope so!

Personally, I am able to work about 6 hours per week. I am very grateful for this. It makes me feel like LIVING! For myself, I had to DO something, no matter how small. I also began seeing an alternative doctor (and my spouse has begun to understand that this is truly MY last chance). And I am seeing some small improvements to my fatigue and muscle pain!

I am thankful to all of you reading this and am still trying to 'understand' where today's western medical doctor is coming from because in my view, it isn't coming from a point of compassion or diversity (i.e. trying alternative methods). It is coming from square peg in round hole type thinking. For me, it is never going to work.

I wish you ALL peace and would like to hear others' thoughts. WE WILL SURVIVE! Peace to all.

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 06:57 PM
Sistrozzie
Sistrozzie  
Posts: 898
Member

You made an interesting statement with the western medical doctor. My PCP is Arabian. My rheumy is Chinese. They treat me with respect and have not once said it was all in my head. They are working to get me relief and I am grateful to them for that. There is tremendous acceptance of fibro here in the part of Washington where I live. Hmmm. Maybe they are all blaming it on the nuclear power plant, but I haven't been here long enough for that to have bothered me. Tongue
--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 08:09 PM
fibrohusband

Well, someone needs to reply to this. I'm new here, but my wife is a long time member who suffers with fibro. She showed me this and is concerned about the direction the group is going. A couple of points:

1. The cause of Fibro is not going to be helped by a bunch of people with attitude. I get frustrated, too, but walking around with chips on our shoulders is not going to get anyone on our side. I get frustrated with docs...my wife has had some doozies along the way...but the massive chip on the shoulder, the ranting, come on...you say you're INTELLIGENT, be reasonable and try to see both sides.

2. Anyone who has to scream that they are INTELLIGENT ...well, nuff said....

3. Hate to say it, but it seems like you're just here to get everyone worked up. I've read your posts and they are full of contradictions: prefer alternative medicine...but didn't get any help from taking 40 pills, mostly vitamins. (And Fibro/Fatigue centers are a scam anyway.) You're all worked up, but say you're generally doing better. Geez! Be happy then! My wife has days she can barely walk and she's more pleasant than you are.

OK, enough of my spouting off, but this site is supposed to be ENCOURAGING! Tell me how posts like yours are going to be.

Here's what my wife wrote. I told her not to post it because I don't want people going after her when she's been here a long time just because she has the nerve to stand up and say something.

One last word from me: There are people in the world who claim to have fibro who don't. I'm pretty sure that probably carries over to this site. Some have been misdiagnosed. Some just want attention. Whatever the case, people with a bad attitude shouldn't be allowed to dominate the discussion. (Listen to me -- my attitude is bad toward this right now!)

So without further adeiu...

My wife says, "Wow....How to respond to this.

I don't think that this is an appropriate post. I feel that it is just to anger people, not to have any positive outcome. This group is here to help and encourage people. Medicine is not an exact science. Everyone is different. Some md's do not have good bedside manners, I'll be the first to acknowledge that, but it is not medicine as a whole. I have been around enough doctors that I can tell you poor bedside manner is equal opportunity when it comes to race. I know foreign born drs who are wonderful and foreign born drs who are obnoxious. I know US drs who are wonderful and US drs who are obnoxious.

Being in the medical profession sometimes it is hard to determine real symptoms from not so real symptoms. First, there is not a lot of medical information regarding this disease. It is very subjective. It's getting better, but there are still many md's who do not understand this disease. I think that we also have to realize is that there are people in the world who take advantage of that. Is it frustrating? Absolutely. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at the ones who are taking advantage of the disease. If dr's were to treat everyone who came into their office c/o fibro without really evaluating them, the problem of people taking advantage would get worse. Let's face it, we are all smart enough to know that not everyone who says that they have chronic pain does. Some are looking to get out of work, some are looking for narcotics, and some really do have chronic pain. The md has to try to figure out which it is when there are no tests to prove one way or another. I too am educated. I have a BSN in nursing. I have taken care of thousands of people and I'm sorry to say that those who yell the loudest are usually those who have the least to yell about.

Don't we have enough in our lives to stress about?? And is the best way to get positive attention to the plights of fibro to run around ranting and raving, angry at the world?

I think I'll go have a glass of wine maybe it will help me relax."

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 08:50 PM
Wolfpack
Wolfpack  
Posts: 874
Member

Don't worry everybody, there's one in every bunch and somehow this one made it into ours.

FIBROMYALGIA IS REAL AND SO ARE ALL OF WE!!!!!

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 09:41 PM
IH8FMS
IH8FMS  
Posts: 204
Member

Okay, let me jump in and add my own 2ยข if I may. I'm a bit of a newbie here.

First of all, I don't think the posters who happen to be ranting right here, right now are "going around with chips on their shoulders." I know I'm not! But yeah, I admit it, sometimes one (speaking for myself, of course) has to let it out.

The frustration gets to me. I just plain hurt. For example, I'm talking to a frustrated customer, holding the phone to my ear, and my arm and shoulder are spasming something awful, and my back is hissing obscenities at me. Yet I think I'm pretty good at giving the world my smiley face, whether on the phone or in person. I'm not going to take it out on other folks because I feel like I've been stomped on by the entire Before cast of "The Biggest Loser"... but whew, sometimes I have to let it out.

My normal place for letting stuff out is in my journal. But I just discovered this place, so I'm thinking, hey, maybe I can let it out here a bit, where people understand!

So, yeah, if anyone reads the posts I've written so far, I'm sure the conclusion would be that I do nothing but rant, whine, moan, groan, and complain... but please understand that there's a lot more to me! Smile[i]

Post edited by: IH8FMS, at: 09/26/2008 21:42

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 10:16 PM
Wolfpack
Wolfpack  
Posts: 874
Member

Fibrohusband,

Announcing you're intelligent means you're not? So you announced you were educated? What does that tell us? This forum is for whatever is needed by the individual, whether that is to vent or yell and scream, that's what we're hear for, not to listen to someone put us down and tell us we're liars. We hear that all the time from the rest of the world, we don't need to hear it from you.

And I'm glad to "tell your wife what to post or not to post." That tells us all alot about how and who you really are.

One of the rules of this board is NO ARGUING and you broke that by starting one. Let this end the nonsense and don't give this guy any more of our time.

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 10:28 PM
sleepwalking
sleepwalking  
Posts: 654
Member

Maybe Fibrohusband is Walt in disguise.. Either that or some non-FM men are having some serious PMS this week.
--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 10:41 PM
hipmama42
hipmama42  
Posts: 939
Senior Member

To "fibrohusband," the gentleman above who is concerned with the "screaming" rants for the sake of his wife's serenity level, and wishes that the forum would go back to the way it was, when everyone was so *pleasant* -- I must say that as the posts above have said, we as fibro sufferers need a safe, supportive place where we can let it all out; the agony of disabling pain, frustration at not being understood, being categorized as neurotic whiners by our docs, spouses, friends and families, being told that this is all in our heads, and the sadness at having to give up so many things that we loved to do, while facing a future of pain and limitations, damaged relationships, and broken dreams. We rant here so we can spare our families! I think it would be unrealistic to expect for us all to paint a Polyanna smile on our faces, and wake up each gray morning singing a rousing chorus of "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow!" as we painfully stumble to the bathroom.

I would remind this gentleman that as he well knows, there is nothing *pleasant* about the severe, constant, crippling pain of fibro, or the changes in lifestyle the pain, stiffness, and fatigue bring about-- and their effects on the spouses and significant others who are uncertain of how to face a loved one's fibromyalgia knowing that they cannot *fix* their spouses or take the pain away and make them normal again.

I am thinking that perhaps it is time to add a new group just for the spouses, families and friends of fibro sufferers, where they can vent their own anger and frustration over the changes that this disease has brought about in their relationships and quality of life.

Fibro is not a pleasant disease for anyone -- and I believe that we all deserve the freedom to express our full range of emotions as well as our opinions, without fear of being judged, ridiculed, or censored. My attitude about any support group online is to take what you need and leave the rest -- If a post or discussion thread bothers you, the simplest solution is just not to read it; look for those that are of interest and benefit to you and your wife.... and if you still find yourself offended or not getting your needs met, there are many other fibro support groups on the web...

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 09/26/2008 22:58

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 09/26/2008 23:04

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 10:52 PM
sleepwalking
sleepwalking  
Posts: 654
Member

Well said Hipmama - as usual.

Hugs,

SW

--- The discussion has been locked ---


09/26/2008 11:02 PM
hipmama42
hipmama42  
Posts: 939
Senior Member

thanks sw -- it took me a bit of time to calm myself down and still think through the fibro fog! Smile

going to try once again to get to sleep...so that I can be more pleasant tomorrow for my kids...and I sure hope they will be pleasant for me as well!

--- The discussion has been locked ---


Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved