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FMS ForumsGeneral & SupportGuilty? Mental?
05/18/2010 05:53 AM
lotsofboys
 
Posts: 277
Member

So, today's my fourth or fifth day of feeling like crap.

I am trying to figure out if it's for real or not.

My brain keeps telling me that I am just making it up, get over it!!!

But my body is saying that it can't help it.

So, my husband is being an angel, like always. Am I taking advantage of that?

I haven't had a "days" flare-up in a while and am confused. Is my thinking normal? I just can't remember (lol, sarcastically)!

Faith
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05/18/2010 09:35 AM  Top
pscrog
pscrog
 
Posts: 342
Member

Oh yes.. I have had flares that last about a week or more. it varies person to person. Don't feel guilty, fell honored that you have a hubby who actually belives you and has a desire to help you. Thank God.
Doing my best to hold on to God's unchanging hand! Praying for healing for all my Fibromites.

05/18/2010 09:53 AM  Top
karenmsmith77
karenmsmith77
 
Posts: 186
Member

I agree with pscrog. I think you are just stuck in the womans mentality that you are suppose to be the one takeing care of everyone else. So you feel guily for not being what you feel a woman should be. A lot of us are stuck with that societal guilt.

05/18/2010 10:15 AM  Top
faieriemama
faieriemama
 
Posts: 3345
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Yep you're thinking "normal" for a fibromite who is a woman that is used to being the caretaker,organizer, do it all kind. Like me Silly Tongue and several others here. I too agree with pscrog no need for guilt just joy that your hubby loves and understands you. Before you say "yeah I am, but do I use that angel for too much?" the answer is NO. I figured that out cuz you asked if you were, you wouldn't ask if you were the kind of person that would use him like that Smile Cheerful. We all have bad days, weeks, sometimes months and we all wish we could do what we did pre-fibro, its hard to live like old ladies in young bodies.

I'm not a medical professional, I can only offer advice,if you need medical attention please see a medical professional.

Don’t compare your path with anybody else’s.
Your path is unique to you.
— Baba Ram Das

Previous discussions I participated in:
Hi - I'm New Here
HI! im a newbie
weird pain

05/18/2010 11:00 AM  Top
RedGirl
 
Posts: 1594
Senior Member

I think it is completely normal to feel guilty and to question yourself as to whether you are really feeling as badly as you think. I went through a lot of that wondering if I really did feel as bad as I thought I felt. I finally figured out that yes I really do feel that bad. And yes, I feel guilty when I can't do the things I want to do or the things I need to do. Fibromyalgia is a rotten awful illness. It works on not only our bodies but also our minds.

GRRRRRRR. I'm in a lousy mood again today! Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry

But that's because of issues at work and not anything that's going on here.

Love you all lots and lots!

Red

I am not a doctor or a lawyer. Any comments, posts, or responses I might make are made solely from my life experiences and are not intended in any way to be medical or legal advice so please do not take it as such.

"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."
Plautus

"The language of friendship is not words but meanings."
Henry David Thoreau

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."
Katharine Hepburn

05/18/2010 12:50 PM  Top
raynedae
raynedae
 
Posts: 8219
VIP Member

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. It's kinda the norm for flares to last for several days at a time...or even longer. I'm sorry this one has lasted so long.

Are you taking an antidepressant and either Lyrica or Gabapentin? Cymbalta and gabapentin have kept my worst pain at a managable level...knock wood. Lately my flares are likely to be massive exhaustion or ridiculous amounts of fibro fog.

It's always something and I hope you can get on your feet again and soon. Your husband sounds like an angel. If the fog allows it, remember to thank him so he doesn't feel taken for granted.

This too, shall pass!

big hugs,

rayn

I am not a medical professional so please exercise common sense when it comes to my advice.

I am also NOT a lawyer so exercise common sense when it comes to my advice.

I was a bookseller so you can trust my advice regarding books :)

www.operationbeautiful.com

05/18/2010 03:37 PM  Top
Natalia5150
Natalia5150
 
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

Hmmmm

It is perfectly "normal" to go through a week or a month or several months long of fibro pain. And for most of us it never leaves us but we can get it down to controlled levels

Sometimes it is because the medications are not right.

Sometimes it is our bodies not cooperating with the medications.

Sometimes it could be something like a hyper-sensitivity to something, laundry soap, outdoors, cats

who knows, last month it was bananananananas.

But I would say it is ALWAYS because of our body reacting to stress or stressors

Stress gets to be a bad word in Fibro.

'Go home and don't get stressed" says the doctor.

BUT it is not your fault or mine about how we react to stress!!!

It's part of your genetic makeup, and the way you had to be 3,4 or 10 thousand years ago to survive... it's a long explaination so I will give you a link:

http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/if-life-is-a-journey/why-oh- why-oh-whywell-heres-an-answer-simple-but-true-part-1

It is important to understand this is not your fault, above all, and regardless of how many doctor's patted you on the head and said, "Its all in your head, little lady, go home and rest."

Just keep learning and sharing and understanding, you did not do this to you but you can change what ois happening to you....baby steps.....baby steps darling.....

love Natty

gentle hugs and a peck on the cheek,
Natty


I am an RN with a current license since 1984....sheesh that's a long time....but that doesn't mean I am a DOCTOR
I dispense advice freely but you should take it with a grain of salt and do your homework and check with your doctor.
He gets paid more so he must know more. Right?

I am truly sorry your are reading my post, because it means you are here at MD Junction instead of out skydiving or deep sea treasure hunting or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.......

Empyema-
Fibeomyalgia
Hashimoto's
IBS=if you have to ask you don't want to know
severe osteo arthritis, spine/neck
DJD hips r knee some fingers
hypoglycemia, which is every bit annoying as hyper
otherwise not so serious if you pay attention
too many meds to count but for our purposes here:
Lyrica is back Yay!
Cymbalta
pain meds

05/18/2010 06:25 PM  Top
Auntie3285
Auntie3285
 
Posts: 9086
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I have never had a flare for more than a week at a time (thankfully) but it is usually pain and exhaustion when I do.

If I have only a day or so, it is normally because, for some reason or other, I have gotten off my sleeping regimen of in bed before midnight or have had a family crisis that has kept me from sleeping.

Sorry you are going thru a flare ~~~ Feel better soon !!! Smile

Marilyn


05/19/2010 12:48 PM  Top
lotsofboys
 
Posts: 277
Member

Thank you so much, fellow fibromites! I couldn't do this without you!

I am on Pristiq and it is working. I take Amrix at night for sleep/muscle relaxation. I also take St. John's Wort 3 times a day and a quarter of a valium on really mental days.

I am up to about 75% of "normal" now. Looking to be 95% or 100% by Friday when I go to Savannah to visit my sister and her family.

Faith

05/19/2010 01:37 PM  Top
blueshel
blueshel
 
Posts: 227
Member

Hey lotsofboys!

I too, know exactly what you are talking about.

My husband & I work together, and the last 2 days he has sent me home. (I was in a baaaad place mentally combined with the usual list of complaints!) He told our daughter he just couldn't put up with me like that. Which sounds mean, but he didn't mean it that way. Know what I mean? I am grateful he tries so hard to understand. And I try extra hard not to stress him out too, as he has diverticular disease and can be terribly affected by stress too.

"The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life."
-George Carlin

All I need to know I learned in kindergarten. Share. Play fair. Don't lie. Say you're sorry. Clean up your own mess. Hold hands & stick together. ~R. Fulghum


peace
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