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05/18/2010 05:53 AM

Guilty? Mental?

lotsofboys
 
Posts: 320
Member

So, today's my fourth or fifth day of feeling like crap.

I am trying to figure out if it's for real or not.

My brain keeps telling me that I am just making it up, get over it!!!

But my body is saying that it can't help it.

So, my husband is being an angel, like always. Am I taking advantage of that?

I haven't had a "days" flare-up in a while and am confused. Is my thinking normal? I just can't remember (lol, sarcastically)!

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05/18/2010 09:35 AM
pscrog
pscrog  
Posts: 386
Member

Oh yes.. I have had flares that last about a week or more. it varies person to person. Don't feel guilty, fell honored that you have a hubby who actually belives you and has a desire to help you. Thank God.

05/18/2010 09:53 AM
karenmsmith77
karenmsmith77  
Posts: 186
Member

I agree with pscrog. I think you are just stuck in the womans mentality that you are suppose to be the one takeing care of everyone else. So you feel guily for not being what you feel a woman should be. A lot of us are stuck with that societal guilt.

05/18/2010 10:15 AM
faieriemama
faieriemama  
Posts: 3346
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Yep you're thinking "normal" for a fibromite who is a woman that is used to being the caretaker,organizer, do it all kind. Like me Silly Tongue and several others here. I too agree with pscrog no need for guilt just joy that your hubby loves and understands you. Before you say "yeah I am, but do I use that angel for too much?" the answer is NO. I figured that out cuz you asked if you were, you wouldn't ask if you were the kind of person that would use him like that Smile Cheerful. We all have bad days, weeks, sometimes months and we all wish we could do what we did pre-fibro, its hard to live like old ladies in young bodies.


05/18/2010 11:00 AM
RedGirl
 
Posts: 1594
Senior Member

I think it is completely normal to feel guilty and to question yourself as to whether you are really feeling as badly as you think. I went through a lot of that wondering if I really did feel as bad as I thought I felt. I finally figured out that yes I really do feel that bad. And yes, I feel guilty when I can't do the things I want to do or the things I need to do. Fibromyalgia is a rotten awful illness. It works on not only our bodies but also our minds.

GRRRRRRR. I'm in a lousy mood again today! Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry

But that's because of issues at work and not anything that's going on here.

Love you all lots and lots!

Red


05/18/2010 12:50 PM
raynedae
raynedae  
Posts: 8219
VIP Member

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. It's kinda the norm for flares to last for several days at a time...or even longer. I'm sorry this one has lasted so long.

Are you taking an antidepressant and either Lyrica or Gabapentin? Cymbalta and gabapentin have kept my worst pain at a managable level...knock wood. Lately my flares are likely to be massive exhaustion or ridiculous amounts of fibro fog.

It's always something and I hope you can get on your feet again and soon. Your husband sounds like an angel. If the fog allows it, remember to thank him so he doesn't feel taken for granted.

This too, shall pass!

big hugs,


05/18/2010 03:37 PM
Natalia5150
Natalia5150  
Posts: 3632
VIP Member

Hmmmm

It is perfectly "normal" to go through a week or a month or several months long of fibro pain. And for most of us it never leaves us but we can get it down to controlled levels

Sometimes it is because the medications are not right.

Sometimes it is our bodies not cooperating with the medications.

Sometimes it could be something like a hyper-sensitivity to something, laundry soap, outdoors, cats

who knows, last month it was bananananananas.

But I would say it is ALWAYS because of our body reacting to stress or stressors

Stress gets to be a bad word in Fibro.

'Go home and don't get stressed" says the doctor.

BUT it is not your fault or mine about how we react to stress!!!

It's part of your genetic makeup, and the way you had to be 3,4 or 10 thousand years ago to survive... it's a long explaination so I will give you a link:

http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/if-life-is-a-journey/why-oh- why-oh-whywell-heres-an-answer-simple-but-true-part-1

It is important to understand this is not your fault, above all, and regardless of how many doctor's patted you on the head and said, "Its all in your head, little lady, go home and rest."

Just keep learning and sharing and understanding, you did not do this to you but you can change what ois happening to you....baby steps.....baby steps darling.....

love Natty


05/18/2010 06:25 PM
Auntie3285
Auntie3285  
Posts: 9182
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I have never had a flare for more than a week at a time (thankfully) but it is usually pain and exhaustion when I do.

If I have only a day or so, it is normally because, for some reason or other, I have gotten off my sleeping regimen of in bed before midnight or have had a family crisis that has kept me from sleeping.

Sorry you are going thru a flare ~~~ Feel better soon !!! Smile

Marilyn


05/19/2010 12:48 PM
lotsofboys
 
Posts: 320
Member

Thank you so much, fellow fibromites! I couldn't do this without you!

I am on Pristiq and it is working. I take Amrix at night for sleep/muscle relaxation. I also take St. John's Wort 3 times a day and a quarter of a valium on really mental days.

I am up to about 75% of "normal" now. Looking to be 95% or 100% by Friday when I go to Savannah to visit my sister and her family.


05/19/2010 01:37 PM
blueshel
blueshel  
Posts: 227
Member

Hey lotsofboys!

I too, know exactly what you are talking about.

My husband & I work together, and the last 2 days he has sent me home. (I was in a baaaad place mentally combined with the usual list of complaints!) He told our daughter he just couldn't put up with me like that. Which sounds mean, but he didn't mean it that way. Know what I mean? I am grateful he tries so hard to understand. And I try extra hard not to stress him out too, as he has diverticular disease and can be terribly affected by stress too.

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