Well I found out by way of my son that they were planning on bringing action against me in the right county to again try to get more visitation and to try and gain custody of Brandon. When Brandon's dad died he had custody of him (not by me being unfit or anything, but at the time I felt Curt could provide Bran with a better life than I could at the time due to my husband being out of work for a year due to knee surgery.) but Curt and I were in discussions to have custody restored to me, but he died before anything other than just him talking to his lawyer took place but she had started the paper work. When Curt died (suicide) I called his lawyer and her and I discussed this and she in now helping the grandparents which I feel is a conflict of interest.

Anyway, they think that now that since nothing ever happened, that they should all the sudden get custody of Brandon, even though last June I was awarded permanent, care and control and custody of Brandon.

They are driving me nuts by telling Brandon that he has a choice as to where he lives, which he don't because I am his only living parent, all they are entitled to is visitation which I already liberally provide them with. But that is going to change when the next round of court takes place, I am going to have my lawyer ask the court to only allow them the federally mandated visitation of once every three months. My other two kids don't see my parents as much as Brandon gets to see his father parents, the fact that the court is even entertaining this bullshit is beyond me. I have been doing a lot of research on grandparental rights and found that the courts don't like to interfere in family business when it comes to grandparental rights.

The way it is now causes so much stress on the family, and it takes away my parenting time with Brandon. Brandon is still forced back and forth between the two places and it is not only stressful on me and my other two kids and husband, but it is stresful on Brandon as well, especially since they keep feeding him full of shit, and now that his uncle is back from living in Texas, I am sure he will try and take custody of Brandon away from me too since in Curt's will he appointed Casey guardian of Brandon. Which the judge wouldn't have allowed anyway, because I am the living biological parent. All of this stress from this and my mom being ill is really taking its toll on me not just physically but mentally too, I am wore out just from having to worry about all of this stuff, and I can't quit worrying about it, because its just too darn stressful. SO much crap is going on and I just really can't handle all of it anymore!

I am at my wits end as to what to do, I just know that I really need this to go away and not be able to bug me anymore, its causing such financial hardship on us having to have a lawyer retained at 1,500.00 every time we need her to do crap for us. I wish we wouldn't have to spend that money on the lawyer to fight the grandparents so that we had the money for my husband to adopt brandon and then all of this would go away and I wouldn't have to worry about any of it anymore!

If anyone has anyway to help me cope I could sure use it right about now I hurt all over so badly that when I wake up in the morning I can't hardly walk, and I am so so tired its really hard for me to stay awake past 8:30pm and it's hard for me to get a good nights sleep, or a restoritave sleep, because I wake up frequently and at 4am I am up for good for some insane reason, and I am on all that I can be on for sleep, and the sleep issue along with my mom being really ill, and the grandparent BS, I have just had it and can't take anymore stress, I swear it is going to kill me if it don't make me crazy first! Ugh! I wish I could be like my husband and not sweat all this crap, but I am not built that way, and I don't know what to do anymore! Please anyone please please please...HELP! Say prayers for me that this all gets resolved and that I dont have to deal with it anymore for the rest of the time that Bran lives with us! Please pray for my mom to get better and please please please pray for me so that I can keep fighting, and don't just flat out give up!

THIS is not all in my head, and NO I am not crazy!
the bra seems to be my mortal enemy, a weird 19th century torture device most obviously designed by a man!

Try to lower your stress levels through meditation and long hot baths. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it helps.

Never give up!

How old is Brandon? Does he spend more time with you or his grandparents? How far away do his grantparents live.

I'm pulling for you girl and I'm praying twice as hard for you now.

Jan

May your troubles be less, Your blessings be more. And nothing but happiness come through your door!

To answer your questions Jan, Brandon is 15 and spends way more time with me than with them, before all of this court nonsense, he was going every other weekend and two weeks in the summer, which I felt was very very generous of me since Brandon, and my other two children don't see their other grandparents even half that amount, we go visit my parents and my husband's parents maybe MAYBE once every few months and sometimes it is as long as once every 4 to six months and sometimes it is more often than that, it just really depends how I am feeling and how my mom is feeling before we make that two hour trek!

His grandparents live a little over an hour and a half away, I make them drive here to pick him up and drop him off, because when their son had custody of Brandon, I had to drive to get him and drop him off, and I did that for 10 long years, and due to me usually being so not with it to drive that length due to me getting so sleepy I start to nod off often due to all these wonderful meds we are on, and because sitting that long in a car is downright painful, and I usually only travel to and from doctors appointments. I feel that lessening their visitation even more (the once every three months) is very feasible, since his family now is with us and at our home. I feel that Grandparents don't need to see their grand kids that often, sure it is nice if they get to, but I hate how they think they deserve this much visitation, and that they are owed it due to Curt dying. I know for a fact when Curt had custody of Brandon, that his parents didn't see Brandon as much as they do now, and I don't understand why they are suing only me when Curt had two other children, it seems to me, that Brandon is their favorite and the could give a rats hiney less about any of their 5 other grand kids, I mean really, do they see me as not capable of taking care of him for some reason but Crystal the reason Curt killed himself is more fit than I am when she is constantly screwing around with different men, and is now a Meth addict? I just don't see their logic here, how one grandchild can be more important than the others, and to just harass me to gain custody and more visitation when I am being beyond FAIR with them. Crystal moved to Pennsylvania because she can't stand Curt's family, and to keep her kids away from that overbearing woman that is the Grandma.

I must be making myself sound really biotchy and selfish for wanting to finally be given the chance to raise my son without their input. I thought the day Curt died that all of my problems were over, little did I know they were just beginning, and it was going to get way worse instead of being better, even from the grave he is managing to make my life a living hell. This stress is eating me alive and I just don't know what to do anymore. I hope and pray that I win this next round in court, because really I cannot take this much longer, it makes me so tired, and makes me hurt so badly that getting out of bed is a total chore these last few months. My depression is rearing its ugly head and so is my anxiety, I am a bundle of nerves and I am stressed beyond just the whole grandparent issue, there are the money issues, and stuff such as that.

I feel so badly for my husband because not only is he caring for me, he is having to work a ton of overtime just to pay a lawyer he is running himself ragged and it is taking a toll on him too! He loves Brandon as if he were his own, and Brandon and he have bonded since his dad died last May. I think that since Brandon has been in my husbands life for 14 of his 15 years. Brandon loves my husband and my husband loves Brandon, and really stepped it up once his dad died, he did all he could to help that bond become stronger than ever!

Ok again I am writing a darn novel..lol forgive me please, but this writing takes a lot off of my mind and my shoulders, and is helping me cope some I guess, and it gets it out instead of keeping it in or burdening my husband with more. I feel guilty that he has to deal with the whole financial aspect of this, and that I am not working therefore causing more of a financial burden on him. UGH I could just SCREAM!

Thank you all so much for your help, and I guess since the writing works I should just keep on writing! You all are the BEST!

~Jill

THIS is not all in my head, and NO I am not crazy!
the bra seems to be my mortal enemy, a weird 19th century torture device most obviously designed by a man!

I am so sorry you're going through this. It will be over someday and it will be ok (I have premonitions).

I can feel your stress so strongly but please please just hang in there. I am also praying that Love from the Universe will flow toward you and through you.

Please take care of yourself during this time. It is important.

Relax, love your son, enjoy watching him with the new "dad" his life, and make sure he knows that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I understand your anger towards Curt (what a selfish man!) but try not express the anger where Brandon can hear (and possibly repeat what he hears to his Uncle or Grandparents). Don't give them any ammunition to use against you.

I'll be worrying about you so make sure you let us know how this goes.

hugs,

*hugs*

You are all the best! *sending gentle fibro hugs your way*

~Jill

THIS is not all in my head, and NO I am not crazy!
the bra seems to be my mortal enemy, a weird 19th century torture device most obviously designed by a man!