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My family makes me hurt
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06/24/2008 19:46
recovered26
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 I just talked to my father. I haven't spoken to him in two years. I am shaky and nervous. He is coming into CO this week. He wanted me to get up in the morning (which is not possible for me) and meet him on Friday.

My dad was verbally/emotionally abusive to me, and I cut off all contact with him for that reason. Yet, I feel obligated to see him, and a small part of me hopes he could just learn to love me for who I am. Anyway, I didn't tell him I couldn't wake up due to sleep meds, I just said that friday morning wouldn't work because I didn't want to hear insults or that I could wake up if I wanted to.

I am going to do what is best for me this time. I am not going to force myself to get out of bed before I have enough sleep and make myself suffer at increased pain levels for weeks afterward just to convenience him. If that makes me a bad person, then I guess I am one.

I am extremely nervous to see him. I need to have a wheelchair, and I should do some calling around tomorrow to at least rent one for the day. I have to wait three months for my insurance to cover/give me my own wheelchair

I don't want to deal with this. My family (and the stress associated with it) make me hurt so much. Just talking to him now.........I am on the verge of a panic attack.

I could really use a hug or nice words or something.

Check out my blogs:
Anxiety Blog: http://anxiety.today.com
Cats (Purrfect Pets): http://purrfectpets.today.com
Chronic Pain Info: http://chronic-pain-info.blogspot.com
Mental Health: http://mentalhealthmanual.blogspot.com
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06/24/2008 19:56
JLCarter
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 Hey sweetie,I'm sending you a bunch of soft huggs...family is the most difficult thing to deal with,as far as stress goes.Just calm down,take a deep breath... JL
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06/24/2008 19:56
hurtallover
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 Sometimes you just have to do what is best for YOU, it does not make you a bad person. I think that all of us, no matter how old we get, still feel the need for our parents love and acceptance. Maybe you can see him at a different time of day that is better for you? If it causes you to much stress, don't see him now. Maybe start with writing letters before you actually see him in person. You are in my thoughts tonight--{{hugs}}
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06/24/2008 20:03
JLCarter
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 I agree totally with hurtallover!!YOU are the most important thing!!!-remember that!!My father has been abusive to me all my life.Verbally,emotionally,and physically as a child...and emotionally as an adult.My father was brutal to me,when it came to my health.He always said my illness was in my head,and all I needed was more exercise! I decided that I'll see my dad when and if its ok with ME!I still miss him,and wanna see him....but,it has to be when its best for me.You have to put yourself first.He doesn't feel your pain,and anxiety...JL
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06/24/2008 20:15
JLCarter
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 Recovered26;I hope you weren't offended by what I said...I just have your feelings and your health in mind.Please don't be hurt by anything I say,I'm just worried about you!You are not a bad person for putting yourself first.The way I see it...it's SELF PRESERVATION.After your dad comes and goes...your left with all the pain/fibro flair up/fatigue/anxiety etc,while he experiences nothing,just a usual trip home.

Hang in there hon,and stand your ground.If you can't wake up early...then don't.And when it comes time to see and talk to him....talk about pleasant things.Focus on other things so that he can't badger you.

I'll be praying for you.Please let me know how everything goes,I'm wishing you the best of luck.

If you need to pm me,I'm here for you.

{{{WARM GENTLE HUGGS}}}JL
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06/24/2008 20:23
recovered26
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 I'm not mad, no worries! I really appreciate the responses

I am actually having a friend meet my dad with me because I refuse to be alone with him. I need someone else there to difuse the situation. My dad doesn't know I won't see him alone, but I won't. So, I have to work around my friend's schedule, too.

Check out my blogs:
Anxiety Blog: http://anxiety.today.com
Cats (Purrfect Pets): http://purrfectpets.today.com
Chronic Pain Info: http://chronic-pain-info.blogspot.com
Mental Health: http://mentalhealthmanual.blogspot.com
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06/24/2008 20:52
Sistrozzie
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 That sounds like a good plan. Were you able to rent a wheelchair. That might strike some reality into your father and change his attitude towards you. Maybe he is scared on the inside that his daughter is ill and he doesn't want to face it. There are so many ifs in life. But like everyone has said, you have to take care of YOU. Go slow and easy, take care, and remember that we are all thinking about you. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
PatOsborn
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06/25/2008 02:18
malaluka
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 recovered26 I think you will do fine,I think you are much stronger than you think and you will be ockay.Blessed be.

Malaluka
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06/25/2008 03:23
Barbkubacki
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 I hope that your father has changed. I will pray for that. Just do expect anything so you won't be disappointed. Stress is not good for you. I will be thinking of you.

Good Luck,

Barbara
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06/25/2008 07:34
mcbeth
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 You have to take care of yourself, no one else will. Meet him on your own terms with your friend. If things get too stressful, I would tell him that you're not feeling well have you need to go home, then leave. You don't need a flare.

We will be there in spirit with you, please let us know how it goes.

Be wise and dignified like the swan: he maintains his composure, staying unruffled on the surface, while always paddling like crazy underneath.

*♥´¨)
¸.•♥ ´¸.•*♥´¨ ♥•*¨)
(¸.•´ ; (¸ ;.♥•Mary Beth♥


Fibromyalgia is not an invisible diease, I'm right here!



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