SORRY, I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR YOU!!

I have learned form you about letting stresses go. I thank you very much you are a wonderful person.

Trisha (PDW)

Anyway one thing to keep in mind Kathy-everybody is that kind of stress that a lot of us experience sometimes has roots with us wanting to control things. For those of us with a religous conviction we KNOW we should not and do not have control. We know who does.

For those who don't it is still a good life lesson that most of us don't have control over much. The lack of control at least for me causes me stress and then stress would affect the fibro.

How to change this isn't easy especially if you are in the habit of obsessing about things which I think many of us do. I'm fortunate that my husband of almost 8 months now is not the type to stress. He is a good role model for me. One of his favorite sayings is "What can yah do?" And he means that.

There are stressors we don't have control over but there are situations and people in our lives we DO. I think it is wise to realize what those situations are and who those people are and create good boundries. It is not selfish to say you have to consider your health. Put yourself first sometimes and get out of situations that you can or get away from some people if you have to if it makes your fibro worse. Hey- I left a good paying job because of stress but you know what? I don't regret it. I can't be around chronic negative and back-biting people because it makes me stress and then makes my symptoms flare up.

Do what you have to do and don't feel guilty about it.

Change can be difficult but not impossible!!!!

Sure, there are some stressors in our lives that we cannot change, and as it says in The Serenity Prayer, "God grant us the serenity...to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." There is so much good advise packed into the little prayer, which I sometimes use like a mantra. Another question I ask myself when I find myself getting worked up over something that is out of my control is "how important is it?" How important is it, compared to my serenity level and peace of mind, which in turn affects my fibro symptoms and quality of life? Many times when I catch myself "sweating the small stuff" I need to take a step back and look at the big picture....write about it, talk about it, pray about it....then let it go, after I've done everything I can at the moment to improve the immediate problem that is causing me stress. Accepting a situation as it is doesn't mean that I have to like it or give my permission...but it allows me some serenity. As long as I am fighting a reality over which I have no control, I am apt to be tense, moody, jittery, irratable, depressed and bitter.

The power of this forum is in the venting and release of negative energy, and channeling this energy into something good, which is, helping other people who suffer as we do to find hope and healing, along with good sound advice along the lines of "here is what has worked for me..." Encouraging and validating others helps me to feel less alone in my suffering.

Before fibro, I had this compelling need to "win" arguments and have the last word in every discussion. But that kind of "discussion" is like a stressful competition or contest, so now I need to ask myself before getting into it with a friend or relative,

Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Today, my health is more important than my pride. I also realize that I have a finite amount of time and energy, and I refuse to waste this energy on petty arguments about stuff that's not all that important. I guess you could say that is the biggest "gift" of having fibro: it's helping me to realize what's really important in my life, and to adjust my priorities accordingly. It's given me "permission" to take care of myself, my mental, physical, and spiritual needs.

I've have some in my family give the the ugly look, how could you say something like that, etc, etc.

But guess what ladies - my stress level is DOWN my joy level or maybe just call it everything is going to be ok feeling but I guess the reasons the docs say that is because it true!!!!

If I find something stressing me I try to step back and see if i can figure out what it is and once I do, I do something about it. It may be time for us to leave somewhere,it may be time to change the discussion- or in some of my cases I have them my love, told them that I was going to be a very selfish person but tht I felt this relationship was placing too much stress on me. I tell them I would like to live as long as I can, yada yada.

at checkout when the checker is trying to put the paper in the machine for the 3rd time and I feel my stress level is going up I try to think something that brings me a momnt of joy.IT WORKS. I MEAN IT REALLY WORKS. I am taking less pain manaagement and a whole lot less antianxiety pills. And, in a quite spot in my heart and brain I found myself growing a spot of joy, of peace. And like hipmama lists - all the illnesses that stress takes on. Additional illness other than just the fibro. Now tomorrow I may be on here begging for help, but right now, I living in a certain aura of peace. STRESS KILLS. LEARN TO GET RID OF IT, OR DEAL WITH IT. SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, BUT STRESS DOES KILL......KATHY

I am with you on the stress free life. I will keep you in my prayers. Blessings and hugs.