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FMS ForumsFibro and RelationshipsHow do you get over the guilt?
06/15/2012 07:42 PM
mabri
mabri
 
Posts: 4710
Group Leader

Guilt is something that for women anyway, I swear is bred into us. Even when I am so down and out that I can't get up, if hubbie starts doing something in the house, I feel so bad. I feel like I should have done that yesterday, or he works all week and has to clean up and here I sit. I just wasn't made like that, where I can sit and watch someone else work. I have to get over that, cuz sometimes it just works that way. I have to remind myself that when I was working full time, and hubbie had surgeries, and injuries, that I had to do housework, cook, etc while he sat in his chair or laid in bed. We will prolly never feel guilt free, but we have to put it in perspective.....Would/do we do it for our family? Then they can do it for us, without us feeling like a failure. HUGS
Please do not take anything I say as medical advice. I am not a doctor.

**Becky**
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06/15/2012 08:31 PM  Top
AJ1971
AJ1971
 
Posts: 1008
Senior Member

Moriawolf i'm sorry u feel that way and I no its hard I fight with myself all the time bc I can no longer able to provide for my family very well and as a man that has worked for money sense I was 11 yrs old its very hard for me and I feel like a loser most of the time .now I do no how men think and when ur husband tells u its ok I believe him why u say bc that's our job is to take care of our family no matter what it makes us feel good even if its hard even if we don't get much sleep all I no is the harder I worked for my family the better I felt. Hope u feel better
Psalm 91

My Refuge and My Fortress

91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge—
10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long lifrwill I satisfy him, and show him my salvation.
~Jesus is Lord~

I'M NOT A DOCTOR SO ANYTHING I SAY IS MY OPINION ALWAYS CONSULT A DOCTOR :)

06/16/2012 06:40 AM  Top
rwslove
rwslove
 
Posts: 459
Member

AJ, thank you for a man's perspective. My husband told me the same thing but it helps hearing it from someone outside the family I guess. I'm sure it's the other way around too. I'm sure your family loves you no matter what.
LOVE (Chris)
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Phil. 4:13

Previous discussions I participated in:
Positive songs
TGIF
Urgent not fibro but help

06/16/2012 08:22 AM  Top
broken
broken
 
Posts: 9224
Group Leader

I know if I tell my husband I need help, he loves it.. but I dont ask often. I know for me one thing I need to due is ask for what I need, instead of assuming they should know..

mo it is good to look back at old post and see how far we have come...

we all have alot to give if one gets the help then some of this suffering is worth it..

remeber I am not a doctor I just say what I think

06/21/2012 06:43 AM  Top
lotusflower

It's really difficult being so isolated and alienated because of a health condition. I take solace in it at the same time. Finding ways to overcome the pain from one moment to the next is important. I also like the approach of alternating task w/ rest...etc....
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