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11/17/2010 07:14 AM

my mother ...grrrrrrrrr long(page 2)

Adewyn
Adewyn  
Posts: 5708
Group Leader

Thank you all...I have come to realize yet again... never to contact her back... silly me to think she was actually concerned lol.. my bad...My mother and my brother are extermly toxic and I know this I have 2 half sisters that see this also...sad when the females get how bad there mother is and dont speak to them unless needed.. she has made myself and my sister jillian hands off... and when Jillian moves out I dont think she will see her either..the thing is we are very verbal and dont hold much back... but my mother of coursse has a twisted perseption of everything (me being the blame for her whole life)so she has gravitited to her son and his wife because they yes her to death and she doles money out to them left and right but if she really looked at the relationship it is as fake as a 3 dollar bill... but neither will do that.. mom cause she will be alone and my brother because he gets what he wants lol..

sick relationship.

So once again I get burned.... and thankfully have wonderful family here to make me feel like I am the good person I really think I am Smile

I am thankful for that..

Love you all Smile

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11/17/2010 07:38 AM
broken
broken  
Posts: 11044
Group Leader

Adwyne,

when my mother was alive I always seemed to hope maybe this time it is diffrent, maybe this time she is diffrent..but I learned I am now diffrent and I dont have to have craziness in my life...Im here for you if you need to talk


11/17/2010 10:58 AM
john645
john645  
Posts: 1577
Senior Member

Adwyne,

I'm sorry you have to deal with the negativity that she brings into you life. Like Broken I hoped my mother would change while she was alive. Instead she was still trying to pit my siblings and I against each other on her death bed. I know from your posts that you are a positive person, That Good attitude helps so many to deal with bad in their lives. Please don't let her block the light that shines from your heart.

John


11/17/2010 11:22 AM
stoneslove
Posts: 113
Member

I'm sorry your mom and brother are so toxic. It brings to mind the saying, "Friends are the family we choose." In an ideal world we'd all have family who love and support us, unfortunately sometimes we just have to make that family ourselves. I hope you can soon block out all the negativity and focus on the love that is in your life.

11/17/2010 11:48 AM
Adewyn
Adewyn  
Posts: 5708
Group Leader

Thank you Broken,,,, i think our lives are twins sometimes Smile and I promise i will om if needed...

John thank you.. my light will always shine because of people like you.. noticing that i am a positive person and that you see the light in my heart... may yours always shine as bright also... Hugs

Stone Isnt that the truth... Friedns are the famil we choose... love you hugs!


11/17/2010 12:15 PM
grammyinPA

Adewyn

I, too, have some toxic relatives and I have attempted to remove the majority of them from my life. I like to say "what goes around, comes around". Just don't let the "noise" bring you down.


11/17/2010 03:45 PM
happycampc

Adewyn, I am sorry that your mom and brother are toxic people. I understand how you feel, seems since my fil passed my mil has become that way at times. I think everyone just wants acceptance and wants to feel like wow, our relationship is finally getting better. Don't give your mom that power to let her feel like she can stress you out to the point of a flare. That may be why she tries to go back and forth with you to try and get your goat. It's sad that she involves your kids as well. That's not fair to them. You take care and keep your chin up and take the high road. You are a good person and you deserve to be treated with respect. Hugs, Ann

11/17/2010 04:52 PM
niecey
niecey  
Posts: 155
Member
I'm an Advocate

Adewyn~ so sorry that this is happening to you. I can so relate to what you are dealing with. PM me any time if you need to talk!

11/18/2010 05:36 AM
mem9113

Soooo sorry to hear about the problems with your mother I can sooo empathize with you, my parents are 76 years old and have 4 children, none of them speak to them, I use to call every other day to check on them and my dad would get on the phone crying about how lonely they were so I rented a car and drove for 6 hours (you know how that can hurt fibro) the first day we were there it was fine the second day my father started laying in on me and the last straw was he told me to go to hell and I hope you rot in hell, nice thing for a father to say right, my mother is taking his side because she has to live with him so I haven't spoken to them since august. I can't handle that kind of stress, you need to back away from the stress and give it a long time and she possible could be thankful to hear from you someday but she apparently needs to be left alone with no contact from you or your family.

11/18/2010 06:01 AM
broken
broken  
Posts: 11044
Group Leader

mothers are funny creatures, they can make your world a wonderful place or they can completly make your life crazy...you know we were always taught to love your parents how could anyone not love their mother..I think the people who started that crap were the crazy moms to begin with..but I learned loving someone and liking them is so very diffrent..we love them because we were told all our lives you should..to bad they didnt tell the moms what to do
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